AIBU for making a harsh comment to DH about our sex life?

[HungryJ]

DH and I have had issues with our sex life for a while now and I have to admit I resent him for it. He keeps promising to try and improve things but this lasts a couple of days at most.

We had yet another argument this morning, and were shopping this afternoon. On the way back to the car, a man passed us in a vest who’d clearly been to the gym.

DH made a sarky comment to me when we sat in the car about my eyeing him up.

I replied ‘yeah, need to make sure I remember him for when I use my toy tomorrow when you’re working’.

DH snapped that I was out of order. I told him I stand by what I said. I’m just feeling so fed up.

I’m assuming you keep telling him you’re the higher earner has made him feel great about himself

Good job you can think about the man in a vest from the gym, because I bet he wouldn't go anywhere near you and your mean energy.

Seriously? So you would say a man is allowed to be cruel to his SAH partner? Of course you wouldn't 🙄Nooone is allowed to be cruel regardless.

I think (hope) the comment was sarcasm.

This

Maybe you need a better quality toy.
Sounds like it might be sub optimum too

I mean from that, and the rest of your posts I can quite understand why you’re a massive turnoff for him. Ick.

Let’s look at how this would be taken if it was his comment towards you??

Rubbish and you would never say that if it was a man posting.

Not that I think this thread is...not being economical with the truth but any attempt to defend it is wrong

You are so sure of this that you think you can be nasty and demeaning to him? Why would he want to be with someone like you, he should find someone that values him for more than sex

I guarantee he's thinking of someone else when he has sex with you.

I was being facetious 🤦‍♀️

That's pretty nasty, OP. I would not know how to repair that with my partner personally.

Except it didn't happen like that, did it. Your flipped round equivalent to the OPs post sould be...

Walked past a pretty girl with my husband. When we got back to the car I made a sarcastic comment about him eyeing her up, even though I've no idea if he did more than just notice her same as I did. Then he was pissed off and snapped back saying "one for the wank bank whilst you're at work". Was he unreasonable? By the way our sex life isn't great because I don't really want it.

If someone posted the above, they'd be told that his comment wasn't great at all but to stop picking fights for no reason and then being surprised when the other person gives as good as they get. They'd also be told their marriage was likely dead and if they replied saying they have to stay with him because of his money, they'd be given short shrift for that too and told to stand on their own two feet, where to get help with debts and benefits etc.

No-one could be this horrible and be so unself-aware about it.

Also no woman who has as much contempt for her husband as OP claims to would want sex with him at all.

It’s simply not how women work. Men yes, women no.

Nice try though OP!

Very nasty comment. It would be nasty even if he never had sex with you, but you being so nasty and disrespectful about 'only' having sex once a week makes it more shocking. I hope he leaves you for a much kinder woman. It would be great if it was a much more attractive one who he wanted sex with every day too.

OP you should leave him because it seems obvious from the little you've posted that you're not happy with him as a partner and also he may only be staying with you for the money. Why would you put up with that?

tbh you sound very selfish. There is something clearly going on with your husband especially given his sarky comment but then i read your comment about being without your salary. Perhaps he just finds you unattractive with an attitude like that. no sympathy for you

You don’t need his permission to leave him.

It was a shitty comment to make, even if you were thinking it. The bitterness inside you will cause a lot of nastiness, so best walk away now.

Firstly,once a week is regular and secondly I don't think the way you're carrying on is going to make him think ah deffo want more sex now, he probably feels worthless enough judging by your attitude.

That will make him want to have sex with you more, sure. It won't, it really won't. What did you expect to gain from that?

Pretty sure this is the same poster as last night on here.

It was a cruel and nasty comment.
Is sex all that matters in your relationship?
Do you even like him? It sounds not

I think the op is getting too harsh a time on here.

We are told in the media and even by other women on here that all men want sex all the time....so to be in the position the op is in is really awful for a woman's self esteem.

As I said, the dynamic is different. Do you seriously think female on male violence is at the same level as male on female violence?

I would never initiate intimacy with a woman without her telling me beforehand. It's just common sense.