AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

[Stressedmum6761]

Hi, I really need some advice on what to do here please I've been crying all morning and scouring the Internet. I'm on the council housing list, have been for 3 years now because of the state of my current ground floor flat. The council came out to do a review and put my banding up.

I got a call yesterday out of the blue to view a house I bid on before Christmas and was 47th in the queue so didn't think I would have any chance. The woman said it has a small yard and a downstairs bathroom. My daughter is 6 and I'm so so scared she's going to fall down the stairs in the night time to use the toilet, she sleepwalks and is currently on the pathway for ASD, when she goes to the loo in the flat I have to battle to steer her back to bed or she's wandering about on her own for god knows how long.

I've also been to look at the house through the windows and it 100% does not have a yard as the lady said as the bathroom has been built on as an extension downstairs. I know this sounds so ungrateful but I don't want us moving from bad to worse, our current flat has a tiny little yard that I've managed to squeeze a bench and a mini greenhouse into so my daughter at least has somewhere she can sit outside when she's had a meltdown or needs to regulate herself.

I'm so worried if I turn this down by saying I'm worrying about the stairs at night I'll be taken down a band. Has anyone successfully turned down a property for safety concerns and not been penalised? Thank you 😊

I was going to suggest stair gates too. I can't imagine that your DD gets up that often in the night to use the loo, once maybe? As a PP said, what about getting her up to go just before you go to bed and then she'll sleep through until the morning.

As @LittleMi55Nobody, you can accept this house and then go on the exchange list.

If you can't can't rent privately or buy then this is your only option. Your kid will need to learn how to go to the toilet by themself, also they won't be 6 forever. I used to live in social housing, so I get it but come on....

Install a stair gate. Take the property.

I have 2 friends (with kids) who were offered houses and turned them down. Didn’t affect their banding and they managed to get another a few months after.

OP, you can see what everyone has written. Can you view before accepting? If not, is there a separate lounge and dining room, which she could have as a bedroom. That might help you make your decision.

I would take it, see how it went, then if I didn't like it I'd look for a house swap.

Don’t know if it has been mentioned but we have a pressure mat thing that alerts us if our DS gets out of bed. They are designed to monitor elderly people who might fall out of bed. It has a doorbell thing that is plugged in our room and if he steps on the mat it rings. It’s pretty fool proof and you could then get up to see her. It might be helpful whether or not you move.
Personally though id move if it’s in better condition - you could always ask for a swap on a swap site, someone might swap a house with a yard for a flat.

Just highlighting this post!

@Stressedmum6761

Do the above, until you've actually seen it properly you won't know what the outside area is like.

its better to talk to the person showing you around & try to create a bond with them than just turn it down without even viewing it. You'll find out what the 'rules' are in your area & might find out what the chances are if you being offered another property soon.

THEN you can bake the best decision for you & DD.

it's also hard to offer much of an opinion without k owing what's wrong with your current place.

persinslky the jack of any outside area would be more if a 'no' than the stairs. You can do lots of things to mitigate the stair issue, but you can't get an outside area if there isn't one. Even just space for a couple of chairs would be something you could work with!

ignore all the shitty posts telling you to go private if you want to choose your accommodation. 🌷

What’s the policy for refusing a house ? If it’s not suitable then no point moving

You cannot just lock someone in a room, even if it’s “for safety”. It’s against the law unless you have applied for and been granted permission from the court of protection via your local authority.

So you were 47th on the list and viewed this property around Xmas? Sounds like you aren't the only person who has refused it.

if you decline it they can knock you down a band or remove you from the list. Accept it and you can appeal to move. Given what you have said after accepting it contact the council for a disabilities facilities grant assessment an ot will come out and the council have to do adap

You can get camping toilets that use a chemical, so no smells, and then you just empty the casset in the morning. They are real good.
Friends of ours used one in a garden room when family were staying over. It was really successful. As she gets older it may not be such an issue and at least you'll not have lost an opportunity to have a house.

We live in our own tiny house overcrowded family of 5 in a 2bed. Can't afford to move. We've had to rearrange the house and make do, put up partitios etc. I've realised very few people have the perfect set up unless they have loads of money.

You could wait forever for the ideal

My dd was a sleepwalked but she never tried to go down the stairs. If she has woken to go to the toilet then that's different to sleepwalking and she will be awake and aware of what she's doing. You can get plug in motion sensor nightlight as well.

Would it not be easier to just improve the state of your current flat?

I personally think you should be very greatful to be offered a reduced rent property, lifetime tenancy, repairs undertaken by the council, right to decorate, secure housing til the day you die.

I know people will say you don't need to be greatful, you're entitled to it etc etc, but the reality is the vast majority of people don't ever get offered a house on the council system, despite us all (on paper) being entitled to.

Get a stairgate, or, go private and be choosy.

I was going to suggest this. We did this for ages and its a brilliant and v easy solution. It can literally be in her own bedroom if you like, and you can get them quite cheap.

As others have said, the reasons that concern you have work arounds. You should view the property re the outdoor space.

You are unlikely to be offered an ideal property. It’s normal, whether renting or buying, to have to compromise on things you would ideally like to have.

If you offered on this property then it’s presumably in a location you want to live in, and that matters a lot.

If you accept the house you will then presumably be able to go on a transfer list too, but at least you will already be in the council housing system.

If you still are minded to refuse and are worried about what this means, simply ask the housing officer or, better still, look up their rules that should hopefully be online. Their allocation policies are not secret, they will be open and transparent.

Good luck OP. Hope it works out for you and your daughter.

You say that you don't want to move from bad to worse, but need to move from your flat due to the state of it and that has made you priority?

So this house can't be a worse state than your flat?

Not being exactly what you want (upstairs bathroom and no outdoor state) surely doesn't make it worse than your in-a-state-flat? Ok, you would have rather had some yard/garden and an upstairs bathroom but pretty much everyone has to compromise when buying/renting a property...I love our house but we had to make some compromise to get something in our budget.

Go and have a look at the house and make the best of it

I was a sleepwalker as a child and we only had a downstairs toilet. I never fell down the stairs. Never even had stair gates. I think you are being silly. The next property you view might be even worse and you could end up in a worse position. Take the house, the sleep walking thing your DD will probably outgrow anyway.

YANBU I wouldn't take it I'd be too worried about the stairs and the sleepwalking.

I used to work in homelessness prevention and resettlement, and know that two-bedroom social housing with a garden is vanishingly rare in my LA. It's literally just a few dozen 1950's/60s ground floor maisonettes and the end houses in a dozen or so terraces that were built in the 1970s.

In the neighbouring district, things are little better but they do have a fair few 2-bed bungalows. However, they are rarely allocated to households that don't include a member with mobility issues, and I've never known one to be allocated to a family without.

It's also not uncommon for bathrooms to be on a different floor from bedrooms, and preventing a child from falling down the stairs while sleepwalking is an easy fix with a baby gate.

I think it unlikely that the council would have offered you the property if they didn't think it suitable for your needs, and some councils reduce your priority banding if they think you have declined a property without good reason.

I'd suggest at least looking at it before you make a decision. You may find that the outdoor space is bigger than you think even with the bathroom extension. And check if a refusal will affect your banding!

sleep downstairs and make a simple lounge in one of the bedrooms upstairs.

They won’t move you back to the band you was in before if you turn it down. All those 47 people that were before you would have turned it down too (or the ones that had budded on it) all it means is that if you turn it down then you will just have to wait to get to the front of the list before you get some where. Don’t just take it if you’re not happy with it, hold out and get a place you are happy/comfortable with.

buy your own house like everyone else then