AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

[Stressedmum6761]

Hi, I really need some advice on what to do here please I've been crying all morning and scouring the Internet. I'm on the council housing list, have been for 3 years now because of the state of my current ground floor flat. The council came out to do a review and put my banding up.

I got a call yesterday out of the blue to view a house I bid on before Christmas and was 47th in the queue so didn't think I would have any chance. The woman said it has a small yard and a downstairs bathroom. My daughter is 6 and I'm so so scared she's going to fall down the stairs in the night time to use the toilet, she sleepwalks and is currently on the pathway for ASD, when she goes to the loo in the flat I have to battle to steer her back to bed or she's wandering about on her own for god knows how long.

I've also been to look at the house through the windows and it 100% does not have a yard as the lady said as the bathroom has been built on as an extension downstairs. I know this sounds so ungrateful but I don't want us moving from bad to worse, our current flat has a tiny little yard that I've managed to squeeze a bench and a mini greenhouse into so my daughter at least has somewhere she can sit outside when she's had a meltdown or needs to regulate herself.

I'm so worried if I turn this down by saying I'm worrying about the stairs at night I'll be taken down a band. Has anyone successfully turned down a property for safety concerns and not been penalised? Thank you 😊

I refused first one offered it was awful.. 2nd one house was amazing gardens everything.
You do have choices just because its social housing doesn't mean they control you ... id hold out are you zble to put in requirements for example outdoor space for your child x

Op has been offered a council house, nobody is attempting to “control” her, don’t be so bloody entitled.
She won’t get as many choices as she would if she rented privately, certainly. That’s not an attempt at control.

Maybe, but that's not what I'm saying. There's a difference between a property being genuinely unsuitable and just not being perfect or ticking every box. Sometimes people would refuse properties for ridiculous reasons. Examples include wanting a garden, same sex twins having to share, distance from shops, bearing in mind in all of these cases the families where either homeless or severely overcrowded. Other times people had relatively genuine reasons for refusing but accepted because they were desperate, only to find themselves stuck or back at the end of a long waiting list. If it's a short term inconvenience where there are work arounds, which OPs case seems to be, then its worth accepting.

Mine don’t either. Like ever. But if sleepwalking is the issue, this us going to be the case with ANY house.

It can vary by area. Some accept three refusals, some accept two and some expect you to bid carefully and will put you to the back of the list if you refuse even one property.

Mine was the last option so I basically had one bid as I knew I'd likely be 1st based on my high banding and used it very, very carefully knowing I'd have to take it no matter what.

My son used to sleepwalk all the time. Bizarrely he was aware enough to find his way safely downstairs a lot. He also managed to climb down from bunk beds without incident.

I don’t know how or why but he never fell and it went on for years.

Camping/chemical/commode loo, as a gazillion people have already suggested.

It would be lack of outdoor space that would bother me. Especially with a child.

Are there any bungalows available? They shouldn't be available just for older people: disabled people, like your child, will also surely qualify.

In fact, I don't know why they don't build much more of them!

The Op's child is a disabled child.

Dont know why ppl get mortgages if it makes them so fucking unhappy that they come on here to denigrate social housing tenants.

@JenniferBooth I haven't seen anyone denigrating. However, if people need the state to provide, the state choses rather than vice versa.

Hello Nigel

The council/housing association won't be giving a bungalow to the OP.

She's 'currently on the pathway for ASD' along with many others I should think and bungalows are like hen's teeth, rightly prioritised for mobility issues over sleepwalkers. As to the person who doesn't know why LAs "don't build much more of them"... I don't know where to begin. Have you checked in with the news this century?

Yes indeed. The disparaging and vitriolic comments do seem to be steeped in jealousy. (And they are almost all from people who are homeowners/mortgage owners.) Some of them seem to deeply resent people having a secure tenancy for life. Some people who have a whopping mortgage, do tend to come out with some very cutting comments about social housing tenants.

Jealousy, through and through. Why resent someone having safe, secure, affordable accommodation for life? Not a good look.

Exactly.

What a well thought out and helpful response.

😆I know right. Always one isn't there? 😂 'just buy your own house,' because it's sooooooooooooooooo easy!

To me the obvious answer to the bathroom situation is to change things around so that your DD has her room downstairs, until she's a bit older. Alternatively, get a porta potty, something like this:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006JSIHQQ?tag=pric097-21&linkCode=ogi&th=1

My sister and her DH used to live on a narrowboat, and this is the only sort of toilet they used, it flushes, and is simple to empty. So could easily be used in the night if you want your DD upstairs with you.

I know a widower who has been on the list for a bungalow for 5 years! First went on list went he was told he was losing his sight!
He is now registered blind and as bathroom is downstairs, that’s where he lives!

You could get an alarm so if she leaves her room or goes to the landing at night it will beep and wake you. Surely she doesn’t get up at night that often? That combined with a stair gate and a bed pan in her room for emergencies be enough safeguards?

Omg, you can’t lock her in her bedroom!

Depending on your local authority. You are allowed a certain number of "reasonable" refusals. In mine, it's two. I've just been given a HA 2 bedroom house (awaiting works to be completed) but I turned down one before hand based on the fact it was a main road and I have a DS who is autistic and no sense of danger, elopes etc. it would not be safe. My LA were ok with it and I got offered the one I've been given about two weeks later. I think if it's a safety issue, you might get away with it.

Yes, you can be serious. We have one toilet here and some of us have toileting not issues but how to describe, we need both wee and n2 more than once every few hours. So yes, I have a commode