AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

[Stressedmum6761]

Hi, I really need some advice on what to do here please I've been crying all morning and scouring the Internet. I'm on the council housing list, have been for 3 years now because of the state of my current ground floor flat. The council came out to do a review and put my banding up.

I got a call yesterday out of the blue to view a house I bid on before Christmas and was 47th in the queue so didn't think I would have any chance. The woman said it has a small yard and a downstairs bathroom. My daughter is 6 and I'm so so scared she's going to fall down the stairs in the night time to use the toilet, she sleepwalks and is currently on the pathway for ASD, when she goes to the loo in the flat I have to battle to steer her back to bed or she's wandering about on her own for god knows how long.

I've also been to look at the house through the windows and it 100% does not have a yard as the lady said as the bathroom has been built on as an extension downstairs. I know this sounds so ungrateful but I don't want us moving from bad to worse, our current flat has a tiny little yard that I've managed to squeeze a bench and a mini greenhouse into so my daughter at least has somewhere she can sit outside when she's had a meltdown or needs to regulate herself.

I'm so worried if I turn this down by saying I'm worrying about the stairs at night I'll be taken down a band. Has anyone successfully turned down a property for safety concerns and not been penalised? Thank you 😊

If the bathroom has been built on as an extension in the outside space, it stands to reason that there was previously an inside bathroom, so there must be plumbing for a loo upstairs even if there isn't one currently. If you can make a case for it, you could get a loo upstairs reinstated. If you can't make a case for it, then you can use one the alternative solutions suggested here. It's not a big deal. Nor is the outside space - if a yard has had an extension built into it, there's likely still some space around it. I've never seen an extension completely eat up what used to be a house's outside space. And even if it has, there must be some space outside even if it doesn't belong to your house - or space inside which you can make safe and nice for meltdowns. You're really being negative for no reason. Dry your eyes, go and see it and see what the possibilities are.

A house will have stairs no matter where the bathroom is. Even if it has a bathroom upstairs and a toilet downstairs, it will still have stairs.

If it was your perfect house, you still have to deal with the stairs. Just do what you would do then ?

Not all meltdowns are loud.

That depends. Our council/ almo has bought several Victorian houses as social housing stock and they never had upstairs bathrooms. Not all council housing is purpose built.

OP, it depends on the rules of your council as to whether refusal will affect your eligibility, you need to ask.

I’m not the OP but I can easily imagine why she might be crying. Decisions can be hard, and some people find them especially hard. I’m guessing that OP just isn’t sure what to do for the best. It feels like such an enormous responsibility.

That said, I agree that it’s ultimately not that big a deal and OP should definitely go and have a look at the place. I suspect it’s just all a bit overwhelming at times.

Commode and stair gate solves that problem. So...can you live without a yard? Is there a park nearby? Is there a front yard at all? How likely is it that you will be allocated something with a yard in an area you can accept? Given you were so far down the list for this one. How badly do you want to move?

It doesnt stand to reason at all!!!

Millions of Victorian terraces were built with no bathroom and the tacked on bathrooms are at the end of the kitchens. I grew up in one

@pinkdelight have you never been in a 2 up 2 down that's had a bathroom extension built on the ground floor?They never had an indoor bathroom or loo, but an outside loo, possibly just outside the back door, which is why the bathroom was built there. It's cheaper to do that because the drains are in place already and a single storey is cheaper.

OP, is there anything that is better about the new place? What’s good about it?

If you are so worried about the stairs and garden, wouldn't it be better to stay where you are?

I will say you do sound ungrateful and dramatic crying your eyes out all morning. There are people who would be so grateful to have a ground floor flat or even the house you've been offered.

But you are fault finding rather than looking for solutions to make a way for it to work.

You can't have everything you want to your exact requirement, you can choose to view then accept or decline.

It is hard making big decisions like this, especially with a small child.
Before I got my HA house, I privately rented a terrace and it had a small L shaped yard.If the bathroom has been extended downstairs, you will have a side reurn as your yard. You can still make this a calm green space very cheaply, with a bench/mini greenhouse against a wall and by using climbing plants and evergreens in planters. Just as you could living in private rented-the huge difference being that this house will give you and your daughter SECURITY.
Go and view it.I know when I viewed mine I was torn, because it didn't have the downstairs loo I need BUT if I had turned it down, (and I was Band A medical), I would have had to accept the next property they offered and I was prepared to make this one work-as I was prepared to adapt.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=i.pinimg.com/474x/da/0b/52/da0b52ed34915dd68257b7eba2d29081.jpg&tbnid=TdKWVXGEffTW9M&vet=1&imgrefurl=www.pinterest.com/talaverajenny/garden-side-return/&docid=zLiP4xFI8zSgJM&w=405&h=540&source=sh/x/im/m1/0&kgs=45ee1774e4db7654&utm_source=sh/x/im/m1/0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://share.google/ByLiHYMILBgnyREFD

That's not my garden, btw!!!!But loads of ideas anyway-good luck.😀

If it is a genuine concerns get an alarm/alert for movement, could put it in her door frame or similar and turn it on at night. But in honesty, you're clutching at straws. If she sleepwalks it isn't to do with the loo, she is sleepwalking and would do so whether or not the loo was upstairs.

I’ll go against the grain here but if the house has been on the list since December and there’s not been any takers, makes me wonder if quite a few others have turned it down too. My dad is on a housing list waiting for sheltered accommodation and we also have an online bidding system. In my experience, the housing officers only ring me when they’re offering something that no one else wants! But every council will be different.

There’s no point in getting upset about it though - go and see it and make a good, informed decision. It might turn out to be a lovely house and be a big upgrade on what you already have. On the other hand it might not and you can legitimately turn it down based on your daughter’s needs.

YABU because if your 6 yo doesn’t fall down the stairs during the day then they are unlikely to at when sleep walking and especially not if awake going to the loo.

There are lots of families with kids renting privately and mortgaged flats without any outside access, so YABU to be upset that the offered council place doesn’t have outside access.

We had downstairs bathroom. It’s a faff but not a deal breaker. Use a stair gate.

I wouldn’t but I don’t know if there are penalties in place for people who decline offers, look into that first. I lived in a terrace with a downstairs loo when I was a child for a few years and I did indeed fall down the stairs while sleepwalking. I luckily didn’t break anything but had a huge painful bruise on my hip. Just don’t recommend when you have a sleepwalker. It isn’t practical either, bathing downstairs for example and having to go back up to get dressed.

Surely if she sleepwalks then you have to do that anyway, whether she needs a wee or not?

Sure there's exceptions but the fact it's had a bathroom extension built on would mean there was another bathroom before and they tend to be upstairs. Even if it's not possible to put a loo upstairs (which it could well be, if she makes a case as I say), then there's plenty of other solutions which don't involve a refusal.

A yard? Do you mean a back or front garden?

OP this is a very normal living situation that private owners face all the time.
Yes, your daughter would need to wake you to use the bathroom in the night.

You don't describe the challenges with your current accommodation but it's also possible that if you're getting call for this house, 46 people have declined it upon viewing for a reason.

Council housing is not designed to meet your needs perfectly. People who buy or rent houses have to make significant compromises all the time.

Oh, here we go.... What are they, then...?

accept it then go on the exchange list for something more suitable...

I’d take it and make it work then try for a swap in a year’s time if you’re still unhappy.

My best friend got a swap from a 2 bed ground floor flat to a 2 bed house with back and front garden, bathroom downstairs. She had 2 DC so in time made one of the bedrooms either permanently or temporarily into another bedroom. She hasn’t done RTB so can’t really do much. The house next door to this one is similar to hers. The one for sale has been tarted up and modernised a lot! Not sure when they were built, 40s/50s? She has never had an issue with a downstairs bathroom herself.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/166443872#/?channel=RES_BUY

DS occasionally sleepwalks and has been up and down the stairs without issue