Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

Are you kidding?!

I hope this thread has made you realise how awfully you treated her on holiday, and I hope you don’t do it again!

poor kid 🙄

What a horrible selfish thing to do. Why did you both need to go off to "siesta" together.

Do you generally struggle with prioritising your DD over yourself and your husband?

I think it’s fine to please yourself for part of the day on holiday. Even if you’re a mother.

No one has said that though. There's nothing at all to say the op and the poor kids father couldn't have taken naps separately whilst the other parent spent time with their daughter.

It's bloody weird to both fuck off for two hours and leave her to occupy herself in a hotel room.

Oh no, an 11 year old expected to entertain themselves for 2 hours day! Let me fetch my smallest violin.

@Personil you dont need her permission to go on holiday and not every second of the holiday needs to be devoted to her either.

Were you in a resort or an Airbnb? I would think most people would find it very odd that their parents just went to sleep in the afternoon because it was hot. Why did you go there if it was so hot? What would you have done if your DD was 3/4 just gone to sleep and left her in the living room, not something we have ever done when on holiday with our kids at any age or temperature, so hard to try and comprehend.

Yes, how dare the parents have a bit of rest and relaxation? 😂

It was presumably your idea. It doesn't sound like it was hers.

Those saying “it’s fine” are you only children? And did you parents do this to you on holiday?

Kids don’t want to be left alone for 2 hours in a place they don’t know and don’t have friends or any of their stuff. A child would prefer somewhere with a kids club or a cooler holiday at a campsite playing with other kids.

Yes, absolutely this!

Children often think of the one thing they didn't like about something and dwell on it. That doesn't mean she didn't enjoy the rest of the holiday. Mine whinged around the London Eye and then told me it was great, which is sort of the opposite. Mine have also asked me to book fewer holidays, which I find bizarre, but it isn't until you are an adult that you appreciate someone else paying for your holidays.

It was 2 hours, she had plenty of time with them to enjoy herself .

Why didn’t you take it in turns? One of you has chill time while the other goes for a walk with her or in the pool or something. Did she say that she wasn’t enjoying it whilst you were there or complain she was bored at the time? I think it’s fine for a child of that age to have chill time if they’re happy to do so or have something to entertain them like the tv or iPad but what was she doing during these 2 hours?

OP didn’t say her kid hated it, she said she didn’t enjoy it, which is fair enough

Surely it’s ok for a 11 yr old to amuse herself for a couple of hrs? Did she have a tablet to watch something on? I grew up in a super hot country, my parents had a siesta after lunch everyday and we were to keep quiet and have some down time too. I don’t hold it against them? When it’s too hot to go out in the middle of the day there’s not much else to do!

YABU

I remember a siesta as being the afternoon of boredom as a child. You say 2hrs but it would have been more than that by the time you’d bedded down and woke up/got going again.

I didn’t have any afternoon naps until I had older teens and even then they were minimal

Can you imagine the outrage if the OP posted that her dd just wanted to chill for a couple of hours in the afternoons and not join in family activities? "Just leave that poor child alone!"

its wrong and selfish of the parents, why not one sleep, the other take the child out , then swap?

Jesus.

No chance would my parents have ever done that when we were kids. We used to go on villa holidays and one of them would be awake during the day to keep an eye on us, go in the pool with us, etc. they both would nap in the heat of the day but my brother and I would either sit in the shade reading, entertain ourselves inside, or the other parent would be with us in the pool. They’d never both sleep at the same time.

Why didn't you cuddle and have a nap with her too? So odd that your daughter was just left by herself every day in a hotel/apartment.

You need to consider your children needs and what she wants to do on holidays too; more now she is getting older. I love a nap but wouldn’t imagine disappearing for 2 hours every day while on holidays. We normally leave later and go out all day for outings, now kids are older we consider their needs and try to adjust schedules to fit everyone

In my younger days on holiday I'd be out all night and sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. When kids came along we all went to sleep in the afternoon as we were up much later than at home. There is nothing wrong with it. Not everyone likes day trips or baking in the sun either. Each to their own.

OP an 11 year old child shouldn't need you to entertain her 24/7. If she's bored she needs to remember to bring a book or a game.

A nap that she took specifically to avoid the hottest part of the day... so a siesta.

Imagine looking out of the window and seeing all the other kids having fun around the pool. Poor dd!

We always do this in a hot holiday. Go back to the room after lunch to get out of the what of the day and have a bit of quiet time. Kids watch a bit of something and read books. We doze and read. The back out at 3ish. No one has ever complained they’re bored or it ruined the holiday. They usually enjoy the downtime. Didn’t realise it was so unusual or made a holiday shit.

This is very odd.

Are you all really early risers and so by mid-afternoon you’re tired? Are you UK-based?

Having said that, we’ve rented the same holiday apartment in Spain for the past five years. All the others in the complex are owned as weekend apartments by natives from the nearby city, and they have a very different routine to us.

They’re not into sunbathing and come to the pool from about 10am to midday, but sit in the shade. They then have very long sociable lunches and then it all goes very quiet. I don’t think they go out in the evenings either as we don’t hear anyone coming and going, so it’s all very chilled and restorative, unlike us who are packing it in for two weeks.