Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

The solution seems to either not to go somewhere so hot that you need a 2-hour nap in the middle of the day. I can see why that would spoil the holiday for her. Alternatively let her know the plan in advance: "we are going to the beach and lunch in the morning, then back to the apartment/hotel for a couple of hours chill out time in the heat of the day. You can sleep or read or have screen time. Then at 4pm we'll head out again/go to the market/shops/for tapas etc"

OP posed a question on here. Should there be no replies? Would only replies in agreement be acceptable and undramatic?

I love a nap during the day too. The sun makes me feel really tired. And aren’t holidays for recuperation? Do t feel too bad about it. Does she
like reading?

It doesn't sound like a nice holiday to me ...

So generally our days were up around 8ish, down for breakfast then activities in the morning were pool, markets, beach etc
back to hotel at 2ish, slept until 4 then down for dinner around 5ish.
Evening entertainment every evening then back to room around 9pm

... I'd have been bored rigid!

Weren't there any trips out to see things of interest? Theme parks? Children's activities on site?

And lack of English channels on the tv is something the op should have complained about.

I don’t see dramatic.

the girl has a choice of spending another holiday with her parents or time with her grandma (which she enjoys more). She expressed her preference.
mum can still go and enjoy holidays in her own way. what’s the issue?

should children lie and say they love their time when asked ? To express gratitude for the privilege of holidays?

So basically whole afternoon gone staying inside

out for evening meal and back by 9pm

Jeez

that sounds depressing to me on holiday

where’s the fun staying up late /watching evenings entertainment /playing with other chicken

for example. Mini blondes just 9 - we will go for evening meal - watch singers /acts /go to the park which is basic but all kids enjoy and go up there after evening meal and depending how tired she is go back 10/11pm

we go away 10 days so normally day 5/6 have an earlier night so back by 9

but have to say I’m not suprised your 11 didn’t enjoy as sounds restricted

Lots of people I know manage the Disney parks like this. Up and out for Magic hour before the main gates open, then a brunch in time to avoid the main lunch crush in the restaurants and back to the hotel room for a snooze before heading out for late afternoon rides and then they stay out for evening fireworks and parades.

So it isn't a bizarre approach for a family holiday.

Everyone is focussed on the two hour nap, but the bigger context is that most of the day is pretty rubbish.

It’s not as though they wake up and do fun stuff. They just start getting ready for dinner (at 4-5pm!!) then eat ridiculously early and go to bed ridiculously early.

The DD is well within her rights to find that an incredibly boring holiday and prefer something else. It sounds awful.

We sometimes have a lunchtime snooze on holiday but often our kids do the same or enjoy some downtime because they’ve been playing sport or doing something physically demanding in the morning. But then we have another session of interest/activity in the afternoon, and get ready for dinner around 7, eat drink and go to concerts or play games until around midnight. The OP is living a half (quarter?) life.

I don't think either of you was unreasonable. Different people like different types of holiday. You like a siesta but she doesn't. That's OK. Surely the lesson learned is to find a solution - such as holidaying somewhere cooler, only having a siesta for an hour, having a siesta on alternate days, taking it in turns to decide what to do each day, you and DH alternate siestas whilst the other takes DD to the beach, let DD take a friend....

Personally I'd have hated a two hour siesta every day, as I've always been someone who wanted to explore a new place and see everything. Staying in the room for two weeks hours would have seemed a massive waste.

It’s every day though. Depending on how long they are there that adds up to a fair amount of hours to be lolling about on your own while other people sleep. I wouldn’t be happy about having no choice in the matter, but because I’m an adult I won’t get accused of being a spoilt brat if I complained - when asked!

I have literally seen threads on here by posters complaining their friend or partner was sleeping every afternoon while on holiday and they were getting fed up and not wanting to holiday with them again!

We have an only child and I don't think we would have done this. If I was sunbathing/relaxing, my husband would do something with my son (minigolf, playing pool, playing cards), and maybe later I'd take him to the beach later, so my husband could have a rest, but we wouldn't have taken a 2 hour siesta. Sometimes we all have some chilled time in our hotel room before dinner, so DS might watch some TV and maybe I'd lie on the bed for a while, but he wouldn't be left as such. He's an only child and also not really into holiday clubs when abroad, but he enjoys spending time with us. DH is essentially a big kid himself!!!

What did you do once back in the room at 9? Card games and fun in the balcony? Or straight to bed?

Yes that too. My lo absolutely loves that sort of stuff, she's younger but her older cousins love being with grandma too. It's about connection and company. This child might be missing it.

I think you should take this opportunity to focus on this OP. I have an only child too and my only siblings with kids is impossible to make plans with so the big cousin get togethers are nearly impossible. However sometimes we go with my childhood bestie to visit her dad on a farm and her other NNs come and go. My DC loves it.

We are going camping with some of my friends and their kids in summer.

I'm not great at this but I'm building friendships with some of the other school parents and I plan to ask if anyone wants to coordinate center parcs dates as a few of us are regulars.

Yes we do that. The difference is we are then up until midnight, in the parks until close time or Disney springs, plus dinner etc. Sometimes pool until 10pm. Not in bed by 9.
the other difference is most 11 year olds are allowed on devices. I’ve never met a family who went to Disney with only books as an entertainment option for their only pre-teen child.

Bit irresponsible to allow her to go to the pool alone whilst you and your DH relax on the balcony? So you weren't sleeping solid the whole time either? This is so awful.

Anyway we all make choices in life, you seemingly have chosen to prioritise yourself and your DH over your DD. It's a shame and she only being 11 and feeling like this already, I expect it will not be long until you lose her and she finds her familial comfort elsewhere. I hope her granny is loving.

Also the PPs who keep hating on this poor kid - your parenting is shitty too.

Sorry but i can see why she didn’t like it, we go to hot places and don’t go for a nap, we do trips and spend time at the beach or pool so our daughter (9) can make friends and have fun.
Can’t you take turns if you’re that tired that way she still gets to have fun.

Also Disney Parks are another level of exhaustion. Everyone is absolutely knackered.

'No screens but she did have books'

I think most people would be bored without a tv or screens for 2 hrs every day while folk went to bed.

If there is a next time give her your tablet so she can chill and watch films or similar.

Yet is prob 20/40yrs older then op

I was actually referring to posters who seem to think it unreasonable to expect it. Not to the OP or her child.

Yes that’s weird. Watching your child from the balcony instead of being properly present.

This sounds like a holiday routine for a much younger child. Dinner at 5pm and back to the room by 9pm is pretty early. It's not much "active time" for an 11 year old either as a lot of these activities are either eating based or sedentary/passive, like watching evening entertainment for several hours, so she's probably not tired enough to nap in the afternoon when you do. 11 year old kids don't tire out by ambling round a market.

Maybe you've not caught on to the changes in DD's needs given she's now in the "tween" phase? It's tricky, because she's not old enough for much independence but she's probably a bit too old for the holiday rhythm you've described and will find 2hrs in a hotel room/apartment with only books and foreign language TV a bit dull and confining.

You've described what she likes doing at grandma's - it sounds like there's a lot of interactive activity there and skill based stuff and really not much of that on the holiday you describe.

I’m in my 60s. I like a nap but that’s because I’m on my own (and I’ve loved napping since I discovered it in my thirties). But if I had an 11 yr old grandchild staying with me naps would not be on my agenda. The word granny doesn’t automatically make someone incapable of going without a nap.

This thread reminds me of the old song 'Only Mad Dogs And Englishmen Go Out In The Midday Sun'

I'm Australian, live in the UK and when I go on holiday somewhere hot I always go in between 1pm - 3pm (if I'm not on a day trip etc).

An 11 year old should be able to amuse themselves for a couple of hours. Ignore the idiots on here.

Are you 80?