To be worried about my 22 year old dating a 30 year old

[Beyoungbefoolishi]

22 dd is dating a 30 year old in (late July) man currently

Yabu, unless she has vulnerabilities you haven't mentioned. I started dating a 29 year old when I was 21. We've been married 12 years and have 2 kids. She's a fully grown adult.

Does that also apply to women dating younger men?

I was 28 and DH was 39 when we met. Been married 36 years and very much equals.

YABVU

No, because I wouldn't consider 7 years to be "much younger".

What kind of man is he and does he treat her well?

Why the “30 year old in (late July)”? 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Do you believe that emotional maturity is aligned to chronological age Op?
So all 22 year old are of the same level of maturity give or take?

I don’t think that is the case, because maturity really is “emotional intelligence” of which there are always varying amounts, the same as any type of intelligence.
We are used to thinking about children in terms of their age group, because of the school system, but in reality if you were to look at ages 12-20 you would find that both academically and emotionally, there would be a proportion of 12 year olds who would be on on par with 20 year olds, and all the other combinations in between.
We obviously don’t encourage this type of relationship because of the sexual aspects, but that aside, there wouldn’t really be a problem.

A similar age relationship can obviously work fine, but in all honesty it’s more about being aligned in emotional maturity and life ideals and preferences.

That gap is nothing. 19 year gap for me and been married 20 years

I’m 29 and my life experiences are very different to what they were when I was 22 and just out of university. I have a career, a child, a house etc. I can’t relate to 22 year olds.

25 and 32 is the same age gap but more equal.

Utter, utter rubbish. 19 years between my DH and I and we are very much equals. Maybe you need better men in your life

The men in my life are fine, thanks, but thanks for your concern.

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 25. We have been married for well over 40 years, very happily. I can assure you that he has never been in any doubt that I will challenge him when necessary and we have both had plenty of independence in the relationship.

I think it depends how they met. If he is the type to actively seek out younger women then yes that is odd. I met my husband at 18 and he was 26, we worked together but it was a while before he knew my age and he debated it for a long time whether he should make a move or not but due to my age and we've been together 15 years now, married 10 years and have 2 children. At 22, she may well have more in common with a 30 year old man than a man closer in age as males mature later than females.

I wouldn't be concerned OP.

Lol. I was 22 when I met my DH, and he was 29. If he was looking for someone who wouldn't challenge him or be too independent, then he must have been sorely disappointed!

But that was more than 30 years ago, so hopefully he has come to terms with it by now!

Nothing wrong with that, she is a grown woman.

Yabu

Same age gap here. Met when I was 18, i think looking back i was actively seeking some one more mature than boys my own age. It’s worked out okay, married 30 plus years. Two grown up kids. Only small niggle is he’s aging faster than me, but thats due to chronic health conditions that can happen at any age. He still looks 10yrs younger than his age, no one ever believes me when i say he’s older than I am!
I think young people today are “younger” than they used to be though - most of my generation were living independently by early 20’s, married younger, had kids younger - thats quite unusual now due to ever increasing costs.

Apparently a lot of younger women are seeking out slightly older men as they grew up without manosphere content on the internet and have obnoxious views their younger peers. I don’t think it’s a massively problematic gap tbh.

So they are 22 and 29 🤣
what a non issue

I wonder what kind of girl she is and does she treat him well? Works both ways really.

This is such an odd way of looking at relationships. When my husband and I met, we were both students. He had left school after A levels and worked for a few years before deciding that he did want to go to university after all. We were on the same course and interested in the same topics, so that was one thing we had in common from the off. As we got to know each other, we found there were others. As for why we ended up married, we just clicked. I get on with him and have more in common with him than anyone else I've ever met. The fact that he's six years older than me is irrelevant.

There can be enormous differences in the kind of lives people of the same age have lived. One person could have grown up in care and had a really difficult start in life, exposed to stuff that no child should be. Another could have had a very sheltered upbringing, wrapped in cotton wool by parents, protected from as many risks as possible, never learning to cope with adversity. Most of us would fall somewhere in between. One's chronological age bears very little relationship to that kind of maturity in my experience.

I wonder if the man’s parent is worrying about him? Why would a younger girl be interested in him? It seems it’s always parents of daughters that worry about them coming to harm, why not the other way round? At the end of the day this girl has as much chance of hurting him as he does hurting her.

There is nearly 7 years between me and DH and we met at similar ages.

The age difference didn't really come into it, we had similar likes and dislikes, similar outlook and similar attitudes. It worked.

I think it's a bit old, 24 and 30 I'd not find too odd, or the same age gap when she's about 25/26 but I don't think there's anything you can do and it's not super concerning unless there's something else about him that concerns you.

I would not worry if your daughter is happy that is all that matters. We woman prefer older guys anyway and they are usually so attentive to us ladies.