Colleague warning me off reporting inappropriate group chat

[JutrScot]

I’ve been made aware (with evidence) of some male colleagues who have a non work group chat with each other in which sexualised comments have been made about me and other colleagues.

The colleague who made me aware of this has said there’s no point reporting this as 1. It’s a non work group chat with messages outside of working hours and 2. Incase of any implications on our own careers.

I want to press ahead to report but she has given me some slight doubt. I’d appreciate anyone with a greater grasp of these matters than me giving an indication.

Its about work colleagues so doesn't matter where it is happening. Report. This will be treated very seriously if your firm has any form of HR policy

Do you know the numbers are real. To explain. I sought advice regarding phone and messages.
My pal in police said to make sure the number was shown. Not the name. Otherwise they can say it wasn't them.

The comments are vile. But you have one screenshot. How did you get it? Lots of factors to consider

A guy at my work was fired for sending inappropriate suggestions to a female colleague. I’d say you should report but to clear up any doubt, you could speak to ACAS first

HR can ask to see whatsapp group chats on personal phones if the only reason it exists is because the people all work together.

So if they all happened to be related, or went to school together or were in a sunday league football team - then no. But if their only connection is their employer then yes they can.

So, in the name of feminism, you’re blaming me (a female) for how men feel?

Right.

I have pointed out reality. This IS what will happen and other nuts shit suggested on this thread like producing the screenshot at a future job interview (?!) will only harm the OP..

The OP nor any other woman needs to be the sacrificial lamb for women/society. STOP MAKING WOMEN DO SHIT FOR OTHERS.

Not in my workplace you wouldn't. We have a whistleblowing hotline and poor behaviour is viewed as poor behaviour.

Yep this.

If it's a private group with personal phone numbers on personal phones then this cannot be properly investigated. If it was on any social media then potentially it can and if it was using company .mobiles then also it could be investigated.
Very tricky I'm afraid

OMG I’d definitely report to HR. Ffs. What’s WRONG with people?!

Of course you can report it! Many years ago now in a HR role I received a report like this, got the logs and as a result of the investigation four men were sacked and one given a first and final (for being a bystander on the chat not speaking up). It’s easily investigated.

I knew people who were sacked for this.

Absolutely report. My workplace takes WhatsApp group chats seriously. What disgusting men.

In my workplace (with male dominated senior leadership) they would take this very seriously, there would be an investigation and warnings as a minimum.

Don't forget, that you dont necessarily know what else may have gone on. Janet in accounts and Mary in the canteen may have previously raised concerns about Tim and his inappropriate behaviours

They might be grim, but on their own phones, in their own time, the company can’t do much. 🤷‍♀️

Sadly, this isn’t every workplace.

That's my thinking. OP complaining would be akin to policing other people's thoughts. Which is not a legal power.

OP has to claim that she was treated badly at work and after that she might be able to use the lewd group chat as evidence of their state of mind to support that her claim of mistreatment is plausible, goes towards establishing character.

Is my guess, based on legal principles.

Does MNers leching on MN over handsome famous men (doesn't happen so much nowadays since the men-haters took over but used to be more common...) would this count as appropriate because they are famous? What if I confessed to lusting after a colleague on here? Would that count as "inappropriate" or is it "appropriate" only bcz most MNers couldn't figure out my identity or where I work or who the colleague was?

I really don't think this is the case anymore. It used to be, especially before metoo, but these days people are much more intolerant of things like these. I think the people involved would probably try and victimise themselves and downplay it but I really think management and the other colleagues will be on OPs side in this. Especially since they are talking about multiple colleagues in this way.

When I worked in a more corporate world 15-20 years ago we had senior partners sexually harrassing trainees and not once were the trainees blamed for it or gossiped about. In fact, 2 of the 3 partners involved had to leave the company because of their behaviour towards these young women who have gone on to have great careers.

The sleazy men needs to be called out.

You cannot possibly know that ‘reality’ means op shouldn’t report.

Decent companies put time into making it as easy and comfortable as possible to report concerns and taking steps to protect reporters. It’s infuriating to read comments from you and a handful of others on this thread state with cast-iron certainty that op will only make things worse for herself if she reports.

This would be taken seriously at my work, whether on personal devices and in own time or not. Everyone has the right to dignity at work and this isn’t on.

Well only based on the OP this doesnt seem to be the case. Unless she comes back to say they're doing this in the work place too

My colleagues and I have discussions out of work, down the pub about all sorts of work things that people would probably faint at here. I would be amazed if that is breaching anything, we're having a discussion out of work with each other about it.

Well she's already being gossiped about. At least if she reports it she will be leading the narrative.
This is totally something you should report OP.

This is nothing like writing on an anonomous forum about a hot guy at work. These are her colleagues that she sees every week, whom she is supposed to have a professional relationship with, talking about sexual acts they want to do to/with her. It is not that she is trying to police their thoughts, they have already expressed what they want to do with her. It's really disturbing and it would be impossible to have a healthy working relationship with somebody who speaks about you in that way. That's how it becomes a workplace issue.

People seem to be struggling with:

Criminal Law
Employment Law
Company Policy

Of course you should report it, it’s bullying.. the fact it was off office premises is neither hear or there.

Private WhatsApp messages that breach company policy, such as bullying, harassment and discrimination can be grounds for disciplinary action, and dismissal.

It’s these things that cause a less inclusive and often toxic workplaces. It doesn’t really matter if it’s a personal chat or on personal time, it is making you feel uncomfortable. I’d discuss with your manager about what bad feeling it is causing for you. Maybe they can’t do much but they could remind everybody about being respectful in the workplace.

It’s amazing so many people are confidently incorrect. It is harassment and you should tell HR.

Newsflash: not all companies are decent. So, if I were the OP, I’d err on the side of caution and not jeopardise my job.

If she wants to set up in anonymously Gmail account and email HR to alert them, crack on.