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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does this sound ok? School run…

171 replies

Mrsupanddown · Today 11:47

I tried to get all the kids in to one school which is 5 minutes from us but the appeal was rejected. So I have left oldest DS at the school and DD is joining him. Youngest DS is at the school nearest to home.

I plan to drop DS (9) at school with DD (8) at 8:35. There school gates don’t open until 8:40.

So they will queue up outside with the other kids and parents. DS will wait until DD goes into her class then he will go to his.

I will be able to drop youngest off then in time for his gates opening at 8:45.

Does this sound ok and safe enough?

OP posts:
NinaNina83 · Today 18:18

Would their friends’ parents be able to keep an eye on them at the gate? I wouldn’t mind doing that for my daughter’s friends :)

Matronic6 · Today 18:23

Gates opening time is not school start time. So if you can do the journey in ten mins I would just drop the older 2 off at 8:40 and then younger at 8:50.

GingerdeadMan · Today 18:23

bumptybum · Today 14:24

It’s not as if gates open for a nanosecond.

You can wait for the two at one school to enter gates then hop along to the other school in time to get him in before gates close.
you’ll just have to make sure that the older two goes straight in the minute the gates open

School near us has a 'flexible' drop off time between 8.55 and 9.00

I kid you not.

I did not choose that school for a number of reasons but that was one.

GingerdeadMan · Today 18:37

Mummytobe1994 · Today 14:23

But the children are being left alone on school grounds, what’s to stop the younger one wandering off? Or what happens in a fire? They need an adult with them until they go into the school and It’s not schools responsibility to look after those children until they enter the building as they are then immediately registered as being present. Year 6 is different because they are 10/11yrs old then and prepping for high school but anything younger is a no go in my opinion. People would be the first to point fingers if something happened to one of those children before school because they weren’t being supervised, there are other solutions available for this situation.

A fire?

What's going to catch fire, they are waiting outside for 5 minutes for the gate to open.

Its fair enough if you don't think an 8 year old is capable of doing this without running off our whatever, but don't muddy the water with silly made up 'risks'.

JustMarriedBecca · Today 18:41

Completely depends where you live. Our two are at a small village school. Kids walk to school from Year 3. I have dropped and dashed mine since then.
In a city or town I wouldn't.

LightYearsAgo · Today 18:43

littlemousebigcheese · Today 11:48

We wouldn’t be allowed to do that at our school; parents or someone over 18 has to be there to walk them through the gates. Can you arrange with another parent to take your two in?

I drive to work past my local primary school and see children waiting outside before the doors open with no adults around. Sometimes if I'm a bit early I see two I assume siblings calling for a 3rd child

When my children were there it was also fine so certainly not universally forbidden

Usernamenotav · Today 19:05

MyIcyHeart · Today 11:53

At their age, it sounds absolutely fine. I was doing this with mine when they were 6 and 7.

We don't all have the luxury of time to stand around waiting for the gates to open, so do what you need to do.
💚

Making sure your kids are safe isn't a luxury, it's the bare minimum.

ExperiencedTeacher · Today 19:21

I’ve only felt comfortable doing this with mine now he is year 6. Our breakfast club opens at 8 and I drop him off at 7.50. I think if he had a sibling in year 6, we might have started from year 5.

Having said that, I’d have let him walk to school from year 5 if we lived close enough.

MamaorBruh · Today 19:38

Darragon · Today 11:52

No you can’t leave your 8yo in the care of your 9yo. You need to use breakfast club or a childminder or something else.

"In the care"
They are stood at the school gate, ready to go in.
She isn't planning to leave them at home whilst she buggers off to the pub!

Clefable · Today 19:44

Do you know any of the other parents?

There’s a girl in DD’s class who is dropped off early as her brother needs to be dropped off somewhere else (he has SEN so has different arrangements) and a few of us will look out for her and make sure she gets in in the mornings. One of us is usually about.

stichguru · Today 19:44

Sounds fine from a safety point of view, but you need to check whether school allows it. The school are perfectly reasonable to have an age before which children cannot be on the premises without an adult before school opens. In fact they should have to make their own safe guarding responsibility clear. If that age is 9/year 5, then you would either need to stay with your 8 year old until the bell rings or pay for before school care.

Dreamingofdisneypt2 · Today 19:45

Perfectly fine. There are no teachers at our gate or any staff kids come and go as they please. Mines have walked to school themselves since they were younger than that. As long as you trust them not to go on the road etc then go for it.

PurpleThistle7 · Today 21:09

My daughter spent a year walking my son to school when she was p7 (so 10/11) and he was in p2 (so 6/7). We are the furthest house in the catchment so it’s a mile. In a city. Plenty of roads to cross. They were on their own the first few minutes but as they got closer to the school there were loads of kids and adults around. The last 5 minutes of the walk they’d see maybe 100 kids on their way in. Their school actually did burn down a few years ago but it never occurred to me to be worried about what would happen if it burned down again while they weren’t inside yet.

All this to say that really id think they could just walk themselves in so the OP isn’t rushing around. And waiting a few minutes is nothing. If the school doesn’t actually allow this than that’s a different problem but I can’t see a safety issue here at all.

An 8 year old shouldn’t be running off - if there’s behavioural issues or additional needs of course that is different but by 8 a child should be able to walk to school or just stand and wait a few minutes with loads of other children doing the same thing.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Today 21:14

CeciliaMars · Today 16:24

Not ok unfortunately. You can’t leave an 8 and 9 year old on their own at the school gates.

Why not?

Hollyhobbi · Today 21:19

I really don’t get all the ructions on this thread! There is an another thread about a baby being left on its own in car for 30 minutes today! And people are popping on to that thread to say obviously that’s different to running in to Tesco Express or the petrol station to pay for petrol. I actually think both of those are dangerous with an infant left on its own in a car! These children are 8 and 9, and won’t be on their own. In sight of the school where loads of other children and parents, childminders etc. will be appearing unless they are all always late for school!

Velumental · Today 21:29

Why can't your drop the first 2 at 8.40 as gates open and youngest at 8.50?

Bournetilly · Today 21:40

Is there a breakfast club at either of the schools? If so I’d use that. If not id probably feel ok with this if they had a phone on them.

swissrollisntswiss · Today 21:41

They would be absolutely fine. My 5yo walks to school alone, it’s normal where we live. However it sounds like you’re going to run into issues with either the school or other parents so it’s not going to work. I’d look for another parent you can drop them off with and they could walk them in.

TheSpecialTwo · Today 21:43

So kids can’t walk to school anymore in these schools where it’s not allowed to be outside the gate on your own for five minutes? Madness!

Abso · Today 22:13

If you trust them I don't see an issue but I think we don't give kids anywhere near enough freedom in this country.

YourPinkLeader · Today 22:31

It seems like our primary is quite relaxed with the rules compared to others. From year 3 ours are allowed with permission to leave school at the end of the day unaccompanied and obviously walk to school alone so this wouldn’t be an issue. My child’s birthday is at the end of August so technically would have been allowed to leave school alone a week after he turned 7. Which honestly seems wild to me and I haven’t given permission for this! But I wouldn’t see an issue with leaving siblings at the gate for 5 mins.

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