Does this sound ok? School run…

[Mrsupanddown]

I tried to get all the kids in to one school which is 5 minutes from us but the appeal was rejected. So I have left oldest DS at the school and DD is joining him. Youngest DS is at the school nearest to home.

I plan to drop DS (9) at school with DD (8) at 8:35. There school gates don’t open until 8:40.

So they will queue up outside with the other kids and parents. DS will wait until DD goes into her class then he will go to his.

I will be able to drop youngest off then in time for his gates opening at 8:45.

Does this sound ok and safe enough?

I have spent a long time stood outside our local primary school queuing for the last 7 years or so (my son in now in year 4 so not long to go until he can go himself). What would concern me would be other parents, if your child had an argument with theirs there are some parents who wouldn’t think twice about confronting a child. We don’t live in a terrible area either.

Doesn't either school have a breakfast club??

It's fine, and those saying wouldn't be allowed are wrong. A school can't dictate how a parent gets thier child to school.

In the care of 9 year old? I guarantee there’s plenty of 8 & 9 year olds at the gate who cycle or walk to school alone and wait there at the gate for it to open. There’s kids and adults standing at the gate. Maybe your area is pretty rough with on ow drug users and knife carrying scum bags about, so I understand in that sense why there wouldn’t be kids walking alone. Regardless they’re left by a parent to wait for a few minutes with other and adults and kids at the gate so they’re not even alone.

And that’s why the world is full of anxious adults in their teens and 20’s because you’re all rearing your kids like they’re babies for the first 20 years who can barely wipe their own asses, the lack of common sense in the majority of kids these days is embarrassing and it’s their parents faults but they’ll argue their kid is independent and intelligent because they can’t see what everyone else sees in their kid 😂

Not ok unfortunately. You can’t leave an 8 and 9 year old on their own at the school gates.

I am a lax parent but I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't rest all day not knowing if they had gone through the gate. 8 and 9 is still so young and whilst I am all for instilling independence, this wouldn't be how I was doing it.

No its true, honest. On the first day my Mum took me to the bus- right outside our house, the second day my Mum didn't wake and my next door neighbour friend 5 yrs knocked and I woke up I caught the bus and ever after got up myself. My Mother was a night bird and slept like the dead in the morning.

So 9 year old is year 5, so wouldn't be an issue in my school as they are allowed to walk home alone.

Surprised at the number of people saying ask if they can go and sit in the office for 5 mins. Imagine if every parent who had to rush off somewhere did that! It is very cheeky!
Also yes some children do go into breakfast club at that time but have still paid for the hour. It's up to the parent whether they drop them for the full time or not. I only know one child that is allowed to go in and join breakfast club for the last 5 minutes unpaid and that's one with sen needs who cannot go in with the rest of the school but is fine walking down with any classmates in breakfast club when they go into class before the main gate is opened.

How are they on school grounds? They are in a queue waiting for the gate to open.

Do pavements spontaneously combust?

For me this largely depends on your kids and the area you live in. Id have no problem leaving sensible children outside a gate for 5 mins. Mine currently wait almost 15. There are loads of parents and kids nearby and I trust them to wait by the gate. Our school and many in the town allow walking home on your own from year 4. So it’s not uncommon where we are to have kids making their own way to and from school. Stick an air tag in their school bags if it helps

The OP says she's dropping them at school so why would they be crossing busy roads.

I was “reared” with parents that wouldn’t have had me at 7/8 waking to the bus stop alone and then getting public transport to school.

I am now 46 , single parents, fully independent, never suffered from anxiety, very confident and comfortable professional.

My kids… mid teens also did not have the level of independence at 7/8 and neither of them have a whiff of anxiety about them (quite the opposite!).

Yes, it’s the same here. It probably depends on your area. But even when I worked in a rough part of London Y3 and over would say goodbye to parents at the gates, but here OP would be fine dropping them a five minute walk from school and letting them walk there independently. I think I’d rather that than them standing waiting.

EDIT: Sorry, I meant I quote @Fatiguedwithlife saying that over 8s in our area often walk themselves to school.

I'm always amazed how much variation there is (and how people extrapolate based on their experience of just a few schools).

At my DC's junior school the gates to the playground were opened 30 minutes before school started. There was always at least 2 pre-school football games going on with children who had arrived early specifically for this purpose.

Many parents stopped a short distance away (in safe stopping spaces) and let their children walk the few minutes into the playground alone.
And it was totally normal to walk all the way from home from Year 5.

The school did not supervise before school, and would have had no idea whether anyone had come with a parent or not, let alone requiring written permission.

As ever, some of the posts on this thread are wild. I don’t specifically mean ppl saying they would not be keen on this or their school would not be happy – but @Mummytobe1994 – "what if there is a fire?" Surely that's an excessive level of risk aversion. A fire where? In the school they are not yet inside? not a problem surely. On the pavement? how?

And @Jllllllll It’s not safe to leave children that age with no adult supervision – so it’s not safe (blanket NO) to leave a 9yo somewhere where you have assessed the risk and it is low? Such as, in their own home for 30 mins or outside the school with other parents and DC for five mins? You are a teacher so you must know that the “supervision” on the playground is hardly one to one. And an 8yo who is a competent swimmer can go swimming by themselves – yes there is a lifeguard but no one is supervising in the changing rooms. Just a couple of examples.

I know I am not very risk averse but seriously? If you go through life imagining the worst (“what if the school catches fire?”) you must have a tough time doing anything at all. I went swimming today. Yes, the pool complex could have caught fire, or someone could have stolen my car. Both possible. Neither in any way likely. (ETA: neither thing happened btw)

Obviously differs from school to school, because an adult has to physically walk any children under yr6 in through the gates at ours.

Yes, I’m surprised the schools have this level of interference with home life. There were pupils in my kids’ classes that lived close to the school and used to walk there and back.

Quite. I’d assume it is ‘allowed’ at OP’s school, otherwise why would she post on a forum.

Just do it.

Children much younger than this walk to school on their own all over Europe and the whole idea that the school should have a right to not allow it (How would they do it? Prevent the children from getting inside?) sounds totally ridiculous.

Why not? If it's because your particular 8 year old would have to cross lots of major roads or go through a dodgy area, then clearly that makes sense.
But lots of 8 year olds have a short walk through a residential area with no busy roads to cross. Why wouldn't you let them do that?

Agree. But a generation ago people talked more and were no pinned to their mobiles.
The more we engage with the ciberspace the less we stay in the real one there is no time for both in a day.

I said earlier about the school telling us our child wasn't allowed to walk to or from school alone and had to back down when challenged. This was 28 years ago so this nonsense has been doing on for some time. We were also told children couldn't go home for lunch, again when challenged they backed down

No you cant leave them outside the school gate every day and you cant leave the 9 year old in charge of the 8 year old and if he is waiting for her to go in, he will be late. You will have to put either them or the younger child into breakfast club

While I agree a 9yo is a bit young to be in charge of another child (such as a 2yo) my view on this one is that the 8yo is also OK to be standing outside the school gate for five minutes on their own, so the 9yo is not in any way in charge of them. My younger DC walked to school with a friend at that age. DS1 didn't but only bc he wasn't keen to do it until the end of year 5 (which is why the first thing I said was that the DC have to be happy with it).