Does this sound ok? School run…

[Mrsupanddown]

I tried to get all the kids in to one school which is 5 minutes from us but the appeal was rejected. So I have left oldest DS at the school and DD is joining him. Youngest DS is at the school nearest to home.

I plan to drop DS (9) at school with DD (8) at 8:35. There school gates don’t open until 8:40.

So they will queue up outside with the other kids and parents. DS will wait until DD goes into her class then he will go to his.

I will be able to drop youngest off then in time for his gates opening at 8:45.

Does this sound ok and safe enough?

Yeah I thought that. And she couldn't take them to BC when it starts so it would be a waste of a place and money. So school wouldn't allow them to just use BC for 10 mins?

Do you need to drop the youngest at 8.45 for the gates opening if school doesn't start until 9am? If not I would drop them both of 5-10 mins later that you suggest.

I would put the youngest in breakfast club(as just 1 child) then take the other 2 at normal time

I think it’s probably fine because at 5 mins before the gate opens at our school there are loads of parents there, many of whom would be happy to make sure a friend of their child’s was ok for 5 mins.

I’m assuming you mean for this to be in September, when your youngest starts? So would your eldest be in yr 5? At that age, they can walk to school by themselves anyway at our school, so would only be the younger child you’d need someone to stand with.

I think:

• Are the DC comfortable with it? that's a big one
• Is there another parent with whom you can make an arrangement?
• You need to speak to the school so they know you are doing this – our junior school would have been fine but some on here say their school would not
• I would overall be fine with this as my DC were walking to and from school from end of year 4/start of year 5. This was fairly common tho (no one picked up in year 6 unless there fr younger DC) but I do know schools locally where it would be unusual

We live in a city btw and despite this (!) there were plenty of other parents happy to look out for my DC (and vice versa) if needed. At various times I made very ad hoc arrangements (“Can you please pick up today as I need to stay late at work) and also fairly regular ones (“Can you fetch DC every Weds and Thurs and I will pick up yours on a Friday)

Unless it's against the school rules it's totally fine for an 8 and 9 yr old to stand by the school gate for 5 minutes when there are lots of kids and parents around.

What are the risks?

Your kids might run away or run into the road- only you know how big that risk is. Are they runners or can they be trusted to stand mostly still for 5 minutes?

Your kids might get kidnapped- low risk, given they're surrounded by parents and classmates

They might badly injured themselves and need an adult- low risk if they're standing in a group for 5 minutes

They might get approached by a dodgy adult- low risk if they're in a group. They'll find a pal to chat to, not some random adult. Assuming you've taught them over the years how to behave around strangers.

I just don't see any big risk in this if they're sensible kids

I'd do that without a second thought. If an 8 and 9 year old can't sensibly stand next to a school gate for 5 mins where there are other parents and kids milling around then something is wrong.

I wouldn't let them on their own with no supervision. No because they are going to be in trouble just because they may find that the trouble comes to them.
Speaking with the schools to allow them a few minutes is one thing you can do. I don't see why not. Other parents may help specially if your kids are friends.
Early breakfast is far too much for a few minutes in my opinion.
There is some parents that do the always five minutes late pick up in the afternoon in my school and the school allow it because they know that particular parents can't make it just on time after their shifts.
It is worthy to ask arround.

It’s interesting to see the spread of views on this. A generation ago it would have been a total non-issue.

How do schools actually prevent children arriving alone?

I would put them in breakfast club so you can hand them over to a safe adult in a safe place.

Sounds fine to me, I would expect 8 and 9 years olds to be walking to school themselves potentially if close enough so definitely fine to be dropped off and then left without a parent in the playground. If they can’t do that how will they be ok to get themselves to school etc for high school, independence needs building up

How can they possibly enforce this rule? It is outside their authority.

How would this school cope with a child walking to school alone?
There is no law to say children must be accompanied to school.

I’d imagine that ultimately they can’t.

And tbh, even though there is a teacher on the gate, I’m not sure they’d notice at our school. The kids all chat in the mornings, wander together with friends while parents wave them in. Especially the older children, they aren’t all walked in individually next to a parent.

I used to do that all the time when DS was in year 4. It was fine. In year 5 he started walking by himself so I think it's a sensible progression.

In Scotland it would be a total non-issue. Schools do not start policing who/how children are dropped off or collected. Definitely not 8 and 9 year olds.

This would not be allowed in my kids school.
Even if it was, that's incredibly young to be alone in the street.

Parenting your children isn't a luxury of time 🙄

No you obviously can't just dump them outside the school unsupervised before it's open. You're basically relying on other people to watch them without even asking.

Can the headmistress control what you do outside school hours not on school site?

Maybe that’s why I’m so confused! I’m in Scotland and my son has been walking himself the mile to school for a year now and he’s 9. Lots of kids in his class walk themselves and there’s no issue. I’m in a city too.

If youngest’s gates only open at 8.45 then presumably they stay open till 8.55 or 9am?

There can’t be only a 2 minute window for drop off surely?

So you drop your older two at 8.40/8.45 after gates open and your youngest one at 8.50/8.55.

Or do you need to get yourself somewhere (work) straight afterwards and that’s why youngest needs to be there at 8.45?

English schools are totally unhinged about this. Not letting 10 year olds leave school without a parent. Nuts.

8 and 9 year olds routinely take themselves all or part of the way to school where I live, so not a big deal at all. You will know your local set up and whether this is safe or not.

Good question. School tried it with one of mine. They eventually backed down and admitted a nine year old arriving at school alone was none of their business. Child was nine and we lived a few doors away, no roads to cross.