AIBU for stopping a nice Muslim girl from showing my son her hair?

[BeSpoonyRedCat]

It was on Monday after school, 10 year old DS, a very traditional 10 year old Muslim girl, and another 10 year old girl from my son's school were in the living room.

DS asked to see the Muslim girl's hair and she was actually about to show him. I stopped her, nothing dramatic. I basically said no sweetie, don't do that. I wasn't loud. Both girls looked like they wanted to laugh while my son looked annoyed. After I finished dropping the girls home, my son was all moody.

Yesterday he was still moody and I asked why he's upset. He basically explained that the Muslim girl doesn't show any other kid her hair. I said there's a reason for that. And I'm thankful my son didn't ask me the reason because I actually don't know.

From my perspective, I was being a responsible adult with my son and 2 girls under my supervision. I don't know the ramifications of that little girl showing my son her hair. I don't know if her parents would have been upset with her. I don't know if her parents would have banned my son from being friends with her. But I'm still wondering if I was dramatic.

Am I being unreasonable?

Wow!

Um, it's her hair she's 10. She can do as she wishes. As long as your son wasn't coercing her.

Well done on protecting the little girl.

Depends whether the girl was wearing the head covering because she's reached puberty (in which case her religion means she needs to cover it for modesty except for amongst family) or whether she's still pre-puberty and so wearing it is optional therefore removing it is likely OK. I'm surprised she's wearing a head scarf so young.

Yes you are being dramatic, and this thread sounds a lot like virtue signalling.

Huh?

10 year old children being made to cover up, to stop men from looking at their hair, for fear that they may be overwhelmed with impure thoughts.

What sort of horse-shit is this ?

Seems young for a head scarf, her parents can’t be that strict if they’ve let her go play at a boys house that they don’t know well. Odd thread

I think it’s a good think you did this.
maybe her parents wouldn’t be particularly bothered. But maybe they would.
if she is Muslim and wearing a headspace you have reason to believe she does for a reason.
I think it’s okay. You didn’t make a big song and dance about it.
it’s nice to see someone thoughtful and considerate of something like this.

Lol

Very

Muslim girls cover their hair for a lot of reasons. It sounds as if she is from a strict family who follow the Quran and emphasise the importance of the command from god regarding covering their head, neck and chest. She may feel shame or be in trouble if she did show her hair.

“Modesty” … I suppose children have their hair uncovered are” immodest” - who sexualises children like this ? It’s revolting.

BTW … no seen many boys covering thier heads up - maybe it’s just the hair of Girls and Women that have magical properties.

Misogyny on every level

I also hate the idea of “modest” .. like women who don’t cover are “immodest” and therefore is serves them right when men can’t control themselves.

Sounds like you feel entitled to another girls comfort. It doesn’t matter what general
rules are, if she’s not happy, that should be it.

Isn’t the OP more about letting her son know that it’s NOT ok to persuade/coerce girls into doing or showing things they don’t want to? In which case, religion or not, she was right to stop him

Whether or not her parents would have been bothered is a mystery to me. At some times they seem strict and at other times not. I just reacted in the moment, taking the side of caution.

Cover up ladies … as you are 100% responsible for the bad behaviour of men.

Her son didn’t persuade or coerce, he asked.

And why does the title say "nice" girl? Why would it make a difference, or why should we comment on an action being right, or wrong, depending on a girl (or boy) being "nice"?

I wouldn't have thought a girl brought up in the misogyny of having to cover her hair for modesty reasons would even think of showing a random boy her hair.

He asked and she was about to do it voluntarily.

It was ever thus.

She has no obligation to follow her parent’s religion outside of their home. You are absolutely wrong to act as an arbitrary enforcer.

As if.
They've had this drummed into them from babyhood, that you just don't do this.

Because to just call her a Muslim girl in the title can look weird.