HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

[HolyCheeses]

Was asked to start a thread.

started a thread.

You're very wise. You won't regret this. He's really not a good person. Wishing you all the best 💐

Wow... I'm just GOGGLING at the revised spreadsheet business. And I'm an ex-accountant who really loves a good spreadsheet. I use them for loads of stuff. But even I've never tried to woo somebody with one.

Does he think this is a bargaining situation? Or he just keeps submitting bids for your cohabitation until he finds one you agree to?

Has he tried... like... actually being nice to you? Not that I'm saying that would work at this point. But it might be a bit more human.

His latest actions should be unbelievable yet they are not.

This.

No response.

He sent horrible messages, did a Facebook post then blocked you, remember?
Frankly, just ignore. Don't respond.

There is NO one line reply (or paragraph for that matter) that you send that will give you the satisfaction of how you would really want to respond. And you can't/don't want to reply as you would really want to respond.

Just ignore. Sends a strong message.

If he wants a response, next time he will treat people with courtesy. And respect.
The same you showed him.

Looking from the outside

If he paints a picture
“I bought this wonderful house, let her decorate how she wanted and now she walks away leading me up the garden path spending my money on what she wanted only to refuse to move in”

If they have any sense, they are more likely to think, behind closed doors, yeah there must be a good reason, there are at least two sides to every story

Don’t worry @HolyCheeses it doesn’t matter what he says he’s hardly going to say “I tried to fleece her for £3k a month and she told me to fuck off” is he?

Being a fool would’ve been giving up your home and job and entrusting your existence on keeping him sweet.

You knew there was something off.

Not foolish at all, brave enough to ask on a forum what to do.

No response is good, but if you were, may I suggest:

Dear ex
Not only are we not on the same workbook tab,
We are not on the same spreadsheet or computer.
We’re not even on the same cloud server as one another!

You are not a fool @HolyCheeses Conmen and charmers know the right things to say to get what they want and they continually adapt so there is no escape. It just proves that you have a good heart and trust others to be the same as you. Thank goodness you listened to that tiny feeling you had and posted here. That showed true guts and courage ❤

My gut tells me when he hears nothing he’s likely to be unpleasant. Certainly not what I had bargained for but I think I will be ok.Mentally it’s what I am bracing for.
thank you

How about

Thank you for the spreadsheet but MY computer says No......

A spreadsheet. Mind blowing. Who says the age of romance is dead!
Yes it would be delicious to respond to his nonsense with a perfect one liner . But I agree with PPs - don’t respond. It’s not worthy of a response is it. And anything that lets him know you are thinking about him- even negatively- will give him a buzz. Your silence will speak volumes.

OP, take the time to do the math in each area to figure out EXACTLY how much he intended to rip you off each month.

Definitely have screenshots of everything to hand in your phone.
You never know when you will get the chance to set someone straight.

He undoubtedly intended to deliberately completely rip you off, after convincing you to move hours away.

I think he is a very bad man.
He clearly thought you were a soft touch.
I would guess this plan grew over time.
But it shows that he is a seriously dishonest man.

I wouldn't hesitate to show the screenshots to his best friends wife if you get the chance, or anyone else.
Cold hard facts.
I would frame it as you being so hurt that he intended to use and completely rip you off, after convincing you to sell and move.

Be very strategic in your upset.
That will be far more powerful.

One hint of aggression, report to the police.
Don't tolerate for a minute and tell them of his plan.

Too good to go has me howling

in glad you’re able to see the funny side now. You’ve done the right thing.

there is no reply required tbh. Silence is far more powerful than any reply you could ever send.

Maybe the revised food bill is to reflect his newly single sad life 😞 😔 😢

is he that blind to reality? As to when romantic relationship was about spreadsheet....wow...speechless....did not expect this...thought your thread was slowly dying off

I think that is the only answer. A man capable of buying a mansion but having this kind of thinking....and yes, we thought rich people are mentally ok, sturdy and better for having money ....wow

It gets worse. I just realised his intention of fleecing you of the funds from your property sale. Whilst keeping his property in his name only.

Ok, dear OP, you know your job now, give us the new bingo cards

He really is rather dim if he thinks sending you a revised spreadsheet showing you don’t have to pay towards the mortgage any more will have you swooning in his arms!

I am starting to think you should contact the police OP. This now is another level of harassment insisting on money he does not have a right over

Agree, a simple polite “no” is the way to go OP. He might see getting no response from you as frustrating or use it to contact you again. You also have a record. IMO it’s best to shut it down.

The spreadsheet is amusing, but it actually makes your blood run cold when you think about what he was realy trying to do and what could have happened if OP hadn't have listened to her gut and switched onto his scam.

JADE. Do not justify, argue, defend or explain.

You're broken up. You do not need to open it. You do not need to respond to it.

Block him. If he's unpleasant you don't need to hear it, it's not your problem. You don't need to be waiting on tenterhooks thinking what's he gonna do next.

Wonder are his parents musing over their revised spreadsheets today as he wasn't going to let them off paying either 🤔