AIBU to let my nine year old shave her legs?

[Ljcrow]

I posted on the parenting thread asking for recommendations for a safe and easy to use electric shaver for my 9 year old to use on her legs and the initial responses were: none. So I thought I'd see whether people think I'm being reasonable by letting her shave or unreasonable due to her age.

For context: she's self conscious to the point she won't now wear shorts outside of the house even when the weather's warm or for PE at school. As much as I think it's far too young (I was 12/13) it's her body and her choice. It's a sad reflection of our patriarchal society but I'm not forcing my 9 year old to lead the revolution.

I'd rather her use a safe electric razor with my help and support than her trying to tackle it herself and potentially doing herself some damage or remaining self conscious and uncomfortable in warm weather.

Interested in others' opinions!

Please explain why ? if your daughter came to you like op how would you deal with it then ? and how would you deal with it if you found her doing it in secret ?

I would allow it. I have thick dark hair and had hairy legs. I also went down the route of pinching my mums razor and cutting my legs to shreds. My 9 year old hasn't asked yet but she has dark hair as well and I don't think it'll be long.

Epilation would be better, you could schedule her for a wax the first few times and she could use an at home epilator after that. I had the same problem and started using it around the same age

She held my hand but was fine, and this from a child with a pretty low pain threshold!! I think at that age the hairs are so fine it doesn’t hurt so much and she really wanted to get it done.

At the same age I bought my DD that sandpaper stuff you rub over your leg and it dissolves the hair- worked really well

I don't know, waxing feels more extreme somehow and I worry it would hurt her. But you're not the only one to suggest it so I'll have a think.
And thank you, I'm definitely not always lovely but I'm trying!

defo look into it maybe have a chat with a few places about it. it really helps slow down the growth. I could see it after a while patches were more sparse too and got more Time in between appointments

Could also look at home IPL

I did this. My daughter was self conscious at 10, pale skin and dark hair. I remembered how unsupportive my mum was, legs cut to ribbons like it sounds like happened to a few of you. I just bought an electric BB ladyshave and she’s used it happily with no issues. She’s 13 now and also gets her upper lip and eye brows waxed.
Home IPL with my Lumea doesn’t seem to have much in the way of results.
She’s much happier and self confident so that’s what matters not the opinions of others.

I also wouldn't consider waxing at that age. DD almost 17 wants to give it a go and I still discourage it.

As for shaving, why not? I agree an electric razor should be safer. Id explain to her it's legs only, not arms or anywhere else. Encourage her to share her body concerns means she'll continue to come to you with all sorts.

It might be a fad, if something else has tried it they may be talking in school.

My DD wanted a razor straight away, she was about 11 or 12. We took ages with foam and doing her legs together for the first few months. They have to learn and make decisions for them.

My daughter now 12 has been using an electric shaver for a while now - I offered it too her just said let me know when and if you want too as I went through the same myself and my mum wouldn’t allow to shave etc and I was extremely dark and hairy, complete opposite to her so she don’t understand.

100% let her shave her legs!!! I had very pale legs and dark hairs that looking back weren’t even that bad, but my word they bothered me so much. I was so embarrassed about them. Even now 40 years on, I remember the feeling of trying to hide my legs in assembly during primary school when we all had to sit on the floor.

She’s probably going to remove the hair on her legs at some point - probably for the rest of her life - so what’s a few extra years if it makes her feel better. Do everything you can as her mum to send her out into the world with confidence.

My mum just didn’t understand, she’s hardly got a hair on her body and kept saying they were fine and I was too young etc. I eventually spoke to my dad about it and he bought me a lady shave (it was yellow and had pink buttons) and that wonderful man shaved my legs for me ❤️

I can’t remember how old I was when I started shaving my legs, but I know it was in primary school after another child (girl) started calling me gorilla legs 🙄. Thankfully my mum didn’t make my life harder by stopping me shaving them!

Way too young imo

Would you consider waxing or laser hair removal ? Will last much longer and avoid stubble.
i was hairy from a young age too, much less is now thanks for laser.

I remember being teased at 11 because of how hairy my legs were. I would have loved to have been able to shave them so I think I’d help her with an electric razor

My daughter and her friends were around that age when they decided to shave their legs. They did it together. One used her dad’s razor (without soap or shaving foam) and another one used silver gaffer tape. They ripped the top layers off the skin on their legs and were in a right mess. Fortunately my daughter used sellotape, so had less pain and raw skin 🙄.

I bought her Veet after that. Not sure if it’s recommended for girls nowadays, but I agree you should buy your daughter an electric shaver or similar to avoid her trying DIY methods.

I remember when I was 10 a local weird man told me I needed to shave my legs. Lovely.

I would go electric shaver. I burned the hell out of myself with cream remover as was too embarrassed to say to my mum.

. She feels self conscious now! In an ideal world she wouldn’t have done until she was 12 or 13, but that’s not happened has it. It won’t make any difference in the long run, except she’ll have a happy daughter, one that feels that her mother will help her when she needs it.

I personally don’t think shaving is a solely patriarchal thing. I do it because I prefer how it feels.

I think once a girl becomes self conscious about leg hair that's when it's time to get an electric shaver. All these too young posters, what do you expect these girls to do? Go several years without wearing shorts or going swimming until you deem it acceptable to start shaving?

My neighbour’s DD has very dark hair and had a bush by that age. They started trimming it as she was embarrassed by it.

Please support her.
I was around year 5 too.
My mum did not allow me, so I eventually did it on secret and absolutely cut myself to bits. Constantly.

I’ve let my 10 year old shave her armpits for about 9 months now. She had really long hair there and it was uncomfortable.
I bought her proper shaving stuff and a simple 2 blade disposable razor as I read the less blades the more gentle on young skin.

One thing I ensure I do though is not shave my own armpits religiously. I do it when I want to, not when I feel I should or not just because I’m going in public. I also wax my legs around 1-3 times a year so have hairy legs often:

i want her to know it’s a choice, not something she’ should be compelled to do because someone takes the mickey out of her. I do recognise that it’s absolutely society that compels us women to do these things, and as she gets older I will have many conversations around this, I want her to see from me that hairy armpits don’t often the reaction you think it’s going to and it’s ok to not want to. Mind you I’m 50 now so all my ducks have gone, I definitely felt differently at 38!