AIBU to let my nine year old shave her legs?

[Ljcrow]

I posted on the parenting thread asking for recommendations for a safe and easy to use electric shaver for my 9 year old to use on her legs and the initial responses were: none. So I thought I'd see whether people think I'm being reasonable by letting her shave or unreasonable due to her age.

For context: she's self conscious to the point she won't now wear shorts outside of the house even when the weather's warm or for PE at school. As much as I think it's far too young (I was 12/13) it's her body and her choice. It's a sad reflection of our patriarchal society but I'm not forcing my 9 year old to lead the revolution.

I'd rather her use a safe electric razor with my help and support than her trying to tackle it herself and potentially doing herself some damage or remaining self conscious and uncomfortable in warm weather.

Interested in others' opinions!

I wouldn't say I'm encouraging it. I've told her body hair is totally normal for both boys and girls. I guess she's just picked up stuff from older kids at school sadly.

I bought my DD and electric shaver when she was around 10. I can't remember the make, it was a ladies one from argos and wasn't expensive. It made a difference to her in summer at school xx

No definitely not from home. She's an only child and we've tried to raise her without any of those harmful messages about how girls and women should look and behave. I guess it's from older kids at school, she just says she doesn't like how it looks 🤷
I absolutely won't be supporting or encouraging belly button piercings or acrylic nails at 9, don't worry!

I took my daughter to get her legs waxed at that age as she was self conscious. The beautician was so sweet with her and it was a lot more long lasting than shaving.

Bless her. Did she find it painful?

I bought my daughter this electric shaver when she was about 9.
She has a lot of fine hair on her legs & other kids commented so she wanted to shave it. I wasn’t happy with a razor but this was on sale so I got one to try.
legs aren’t as smooth as razor/wax but it does the job.
https://amzn.eu/d/0fXcqtA9

Ive commented on threads like this before.

100% show her teach her help her.

This isn't a slipper slope to getting acrylics etc. This is her confidence, her mental health, her happiness.

I only wish my mam had let me whenni was that age. I had to suffer for years.

I wouldn’t allow it.

I’d take her to have them waxed. It lasts longer, regrowth is softer, no stubble.

Could you try veet instead ?

I’d let her and support her and also try other methods of hair removal

I let my Dd shave her legs at 10 i just bought a wet/dry shaver from superdrug, if your Dd is self conscious to the point as not wearing shorts then someone has said something to her probably in .p.e 9-10 is the age other kids start noticing these sorts of things, just let her do it then it isn't a thing.

The problem is whether it's allowed or not she will find a way to do it if it's bothering her

Could you help your daughter to use a hair removal cream?

YANBU. It's great that you are helping and supporting her. I helped my dd; my mother helped me.

On this point

Yes it’s normal but it’s not their normal, often increased body hair is a new development as puberty starts and progresses and that change is difficult.

So I support removal if it’s what they want. They have enough changes to go through that they can’t control.

@HeadingforaHundredwhy?

Love the username, I agree it's a dent in confidence that's easily helped by removing the hair .

Puberty happens at a young age. Nothing about 'encouraging', hairfree legs are a social norm for women.

Then she'll do it anyway to avoid being bullied, cut herself, and resent the hell out of you.

My other dd was 11-12 but she has lighter hair.

One of the few parenting fails I think my DM made was “banning” me from shaving my legs and underarms until I was 13. I was so embarrassed in school PE. I only have a DS but I always told myself if I had a DD I’d help her shave her legs whenever she wanted to!

I cut my legs to ribbons using my dad's razor i wasn't allowed either, like you I was in secondary and it was some girls from my p e class .

Yes it’s young but I would let my 9 year old remove the hair. It’s more important to take their feelings into consideration than take a stance. Try some cream or electric shaver which she’ll be able to use herself.
I can’t remember what are my girls were, I think they used one of my razors when they wanted to

your a lovely manmy- I wish I had a mammy like you as I was like your daughter with thick dark hair all over me. I was called all sorts of names.
Would you consider bringing her to get her wax instead though of shaving ? it's far better than shaving and you are reducing hair growth over time aswell? it might not be publicly advertised but it is done with parents consent. she will get longer out of it too. if she has heavy thick hair shaving could end up being an every day job
when she older then she can explore laser hair removal- best money I have ever spent