Sibling buying beside us

[apriljuneandnovember]

How you would feel if you found out that a sibling had purchased a house in your estate?

And that they no intentions of telling you until after contracts were signed. Purposely told other family members to keep it a secret.

We find it bizarre.

But apparently we have no right to complain as we cannot dictate where anyone chooses to buy.

AIBU to think they should have given us a heads up?

FWIW I don’t think it’s healthy. I feel we spent enough time living in close proximity during our childhood. I value my space and privacy. I feel I am going to lose that.

Also said sibling isn’t the easiest to get along with

I know. We are starting to wonder if she has some sort of vendetta and is doing it to hurt one or both of us. Drastic as that sounds!

Yes. It’s like some sort of self fulfilling prophecy. She is showing us all that this is a bad, bad idea.

It depends on the relationship. I am very close to my siblings, I live very close to one of my sisters, it’s great for us. We’re all (5) within a 10 mile radius in very different city centre locations. I live in the tiny terrace, my Dsis lives in the fancy penthouse a stone’s throw away.

Well they’ve “blocked” you, so you can feel comfortable to draw boundaries as tightly as you want.

If it helps my mom lives two doors away from my two siblings all two houses apart and she hardly sees them unless they go around or vice versa. My best mate lives on my road never see her lol you’re overthinking this.

You don't have to see them often just because they live on the same estate. If it's a nice place to live why shouldn't they buy there? Sounds like they knew you wouldn't approve and were avoiding the drama by not telling you.

Thank you The flak has been interesting!! But I guess it shows people are a lot less considerate than I would have thought. I was wrong to assume families should be open and transparent. And I don’t care what anyone says - we spent enough bloody time around each other growing up. We don’t need to be on each other’s doorsteps.

We will be saving hard and keeping our ear to the ground. I would even be prepared to downsize a little or sacrifice if we have to as you cannot put price on your peace ✌🏻

I think you will need to keep your address a secret from her or move to the place in this picture to escape her.

I suspect a fantasy in her head of dropping the kids off at yours or sharing the school runs. Or you doing after-school care. (Sorry). Or sending the cousins over to yours to play in the holidays.

I would literally ignore them. And if you find unsupervised children on your doorstep you may need to do something drastic. But decidedly have a very busy schedule that won't work with theirs. Or sudden appointments in the holidays.

HUH????

I was thinking a small island but this looks perfect 😍

Op I would block them and get your dh to then when there ready to talk they can see your not ready give them a taste of their own medicine. what did people do before blocking I find it childish for adults unless serious issues with someone.

What a total nightmare. The thought that you might have to consider moving yourselves to get away from DS is crazy and expensive, not to mention a bit scary! You're doing the right thing so far, ie, very little. Keep your heads down and I agree with those who've said to block.

How do you get out??!!! Or in, for that matter? 😎

I would love it so so much but I like my sibling and nieces

Your parents are definitely part of the problem!

I think go with grey rock. Stop trying to reach out. Smile and wave. Don’t engage.

I agree. It seemed such a drastic measure. But it seems people do it willy nilly nowadays!
It was jolting and bloody hurtful when we realised.
I don’t think I could stoop to their level and block them back. They may be spitting distance from my front door, but the door is firmly closed!

Fair enough if you don’t want to do it but it’s just a control issue she basically unblocks you when it’s suits her then she decides if she allows you to reply. I couldn’t be arsed with all that shit. Hope it works out for you when she’s moved in.

You really think that OP’s sister, convinced OP will “kick off unreasonably” if she moves onto the same estate, decided that she’d do it anyway, but ask everyone who knows them both (including the woman whose womb they both grew in) to keep it a secret - and then hope OP never noticed? And basically spend the entire time she lived in the area hiding from OP, just in case? This would be a better solution than just picking somewhere else in the entire world to live?

Newsflash: Surely if the OP was going to “kick off unreasonably” on finding out her sister was looking into moving in close by, she’d kick off just as much, if not more, if the sister actually did it? Use a bit of common sense.

OP’s sister is clearly a fucking loon!

I mean, it can be. My sister kept her divorce secret for months. She was ashamed, and wasnt ready to share the news with anyone but my mom.

Are they looking for future favours and no cost childcare?

Seems very convenient.

Like that's the same thing. This isn't a traumatic and upsetting event, it's a house move.

If she is someone who tends to impose then it is not unreasonable to think she may ask.

Some people think a family link and living nearby is an in to ask for childcare.

My friends nephew, the son of an older sister she is not close to, moved nearby, and thought it very reasonable to call and tell her they needed childcare two days a week.

She had just retired, without any grandchildren, and his mother had told him she would have the time!🙄

You couldn't make it up. She politely and firmly disabused him of the idea that she was in the slightest bit interested or had the time.

OP can hope for the best with her loon sister, but would be wise to prepare for the worst.

Find out their completion/move in date. Hopefully a Friday and just make sure you are away all weekend and, I know not ideal for school, be back late on Sunday. Invest in privacy glass too.

My sister stays accross from me, it was just the way it worked out not something she purposly aimed for. we have a extremely close relationship and we couldnt have been happier about it.

However it seems you have a different relatioship and the secrecy is weird.