AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

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We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

12 eggs plus extras is a lot. It's still not right for her to take it upon herself to bag them up, but with that many it might be a nice gesture for the kids to give up one or two of their choosing. No they don't or shouldn't HAVE to but it's a good lesson in charity and are they really going to miss a couple of eggs?

Op I find it odd that they ignored your words like they knew best. No apology required from you but definitely from them. They were in your home trying to take away your kids gifts then blatantly ignored you twice. Op they might have food issues but there is no respect here for you or your kids. They need to apologise to you and dc how dare someone just take away things that don’t belong to them. If they are so concerned about food banks maybe they should have bought them some eggs a few weeks ago when it would have mattered to those kids.

Two Easter eggs in one day for teenagers, when OP has said they eat healthily and are healthy weights isn’t anything I’d consider a problem at all. At least one of OPs children is an adult as they’re are university so she can hardly tell an adult what to eat. OPs parents sound very difficult but people with eating disorders, which OPs mother seems to have, can be very unreasonable.

I think you are right to not reply to the text OP.

You don’t need people like this in your life - what an absolute cheek! Do not apologise!!

Tell them you would never apologise to someone who tried to steal from your children, they tried to take without consent, straightforward theft. Entitled, holier than thou cheeky beggars😡

Not only would I not apologise, I would say to them that I won't be apologising for stopping them stealing from my kids.

It doesnt matter how many they've got. Its their choice what to do with them.

Same as anyone else wanting to eat chocolate after Easter. Possibly more than anyone else as I guess its more of a treat to them.

Your parents, especially your DM, are way out of order here.

They were guests in YOUR house.

The eggs belonged to YOUR children.

It is not up to them to take other people's treats because THEY have unhealthy issues around food.

If they want to donate to a food bank, then they can buy the items of their choice to take.

They were rude and unreasonable, and in your shoes I would want an apology from them to you and your sons before inviting them around again.

Your kids have a very healthy attitude to treats, and are unselfish as they shared some of their Easter eggs with friends.

Fwiw, I recently found an egg I bought last year, one of several I got from Tesco in the sale after Easter. Like your kids, I'm perfectly capable of having chocolate (and other treats) in the house, sometimes for months, without having to eat it.

You should tell them they were trying to commit theft and taking things they quite clearly wrere not entitled to from your home without your permissions I would not trust them in my house ever again! The cheeky fuckers. If anyone should be pissed it is you and your family - unfucking beleivable.

It’s interesting you questioned if they were churchgoers because my friends very religious Christian parents have tried to do something similar to her multiple times.

They have tried to take her kids clothing in clean laundry piles, food from the cupboards and Christmas chocolate or presents. I bet they have tried to donate Easter eggs and she just hasn’t told me.

I was there one Christmas when her mum kept mentioning how many toys and sweets my friends kids received and how excessive it was. She kept offering to donate some to the church until my friend snapped at her and said she should feel free to donate her own gifts but to leave her kids alone.

My friend was just telling me the other day how growing up that she and her sisters rarely got treats and just Christmas and birthday presents because they were told that it wasn’t in the spirit of Christianity to always receive things when others went without.
If they didn’t play with toys or eat sweets or chocolates that were gifts straight away then they were taken away and donated.

They got sweets one day a week and if they didn’t finish those sweets they were taken away.
My friends sister absolutely loved her bike but didn’t ride it for a few days so it was given to “a family in need”.

My friend has a lot of issues with food and sharing and hoarding now and it’s clear to see where it’s come from but her parents are still trying to take from her, she can’t turn her back in her house or something will disappear.
If she gets given chocolates or food gifts then she eats it as quickly as possible until sometimes she’s almost sick.

I don’t really understand how it can be classed as a good deed to deprive and take things from your own children and make them feel like they come second to strangers. I can understand donating things that aren’t needed but my friends sister is still resentful about her bike and my friend said it gets brought up at most family gatherings.

I think you are spot on that it must be to score points to go to heaven and I think it’s also about presenting a Christian image to people.
I also find it strange how (in my experience) a lot of Christians who are supposed to be forgiving and caring are the most judgmental people I’ve met and seem obsessed with their own image, they clearly missed the commandment that pride is a sin!

I don't like the concepts of "blocking" and "NC" but with something like this I would just not reply, only reply to messages that are un-related to the eggs.

They tried to take things that were not theirs to take, then continued when told no, that's a massive overstep - I wouldn't engage with them further on the matter in any way.

Yes, well I hoped not to offend anyone but I've seen this a few times.

One of the most messed-up guys I've ever known came from a churchgoing family. His parents were so keen to "score Heaven points" that they kept housing weirdos, at the expense of his childhood and that of his siblings. (By "weirdos" I mean kids with serious problems such as heroin abuse and violent bullying tendencies, which his parents pretended not to notice as they were so anxious to be "charitable"!).

The notion that "charity begins at home" seems to have bypassed them completely 🤡

Your parents are nuts, but huge props to you (and your teen) for standing up to them.

My dd gets a fair few eggs etc at Easter, her older siblings are adults (8 & 10yr age gaps) sp both buy for her, my parents, her dad, my best mate, my previous boss etc...she probably ends up with 12 or so. She doesn't eat a lot of chocolate, she prefers sweets like cola bottles. They often last her til Christmas! But they are hers so they sit in top of the fridge til shebisnready for them.

This is one of the most bizzare things I have ever read on here.

I really don’t like the way they behaved and treating you like a child with that text

very rude of them to try to take the eggs off your dc

We must have the same PIL. Except mine came over when I was at work, packed my “excess" stuff up into boxes and took it away. Including my diaries. We were renting off them and they were helping by making the place look neater.

I’d be going round their house, go rummaging in their wardrobes and bag up some clothes for charity as they clearly don’t need them all/shouldnt be selfish, etc..

Yes. People donate Easter Eggs we were still handing them out last week along with the staple stuff. We still have some Christmas things like.

'Does your food bank accept stolen goods then?' might have been my response. Say you intend letting the food bank that these people might be donating stolen goods!

This would be the perfect response to your relatives.

In fairness 12 Easter eggs each IS a lot and I can see why your parents might have mentioned taking them to a food bank. TBH If my kids had that many each I’d perhaps suggest donating some too so yeah hoarding 12 eggs each at that age is a tad selfish …..

Tell your parents, if they come into your home and attempt to steal from you again, while being told no - They will not be invited again. You will in fact seek legal advice from the police regarding people coming into your home and taking things without permission, followed by harassment and bullying in text messages. It doesn't matter what item is being taken, it's the act of taking something without permission.

I'd be most put out if I had bought children easter egg treats and other family members decided to take them. It doesn't matter how many eggs the children have its not your relatives business.

They sound batshit

I would be straight round her house and into her wardrobe, start pulling out clothes and putting them in a bag and tell her that you are taking them to donate to the homeless. When she reacts and tells you no what do you think you are doing then tell her how selfish she is to be having a wardrobe full of clothes....