To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

Is it really that you find it dull or is it triggering you in some other way?

Just change the subject really notably? Or put in your earphones and say you have loads of work to crack on with?

YANBU. Weight loss bores are so annoying.

Meant to quote the post above about something else triggering her.

Don’t tell me. OP is just jealous, right?

Neither of the options. You don't have to take her advice, but you also don't have to tell her you aren't interested in what she's talking about. Just change the subject and sit somewhere else sometimes like you are doing.

D’oh - I accidentally voted the wrong way. You are NOT being unreasonable to avoid this at work!

we’ee not allowed headphones, I would love that in an open plan office! Considered a bit anti social and if you’re on an actual call where you need headphones we have these little areas and booths to do that in…

I am not voting for either of your options as I don't think I agree with either. You can avoid someone for whatever reason you like, finding them dull is fine.
I don't think you should tell her you find her dull though that's unnecessary and mean. Talking about healthy food and fitness isn't inherently bad, just not interesting to you.

Anyone who makes one subject their entire personality is tedious, the subject is almost irrelevant.

Whether you say something to her or not depends on how much you care about her. If you value her have a quiet word. Otherwise just ignore.

I think if you actually like her, you should just tell her that you don’t want to talk about it all the time.

I’m genuinely impressed and pleased for her. She was having health issues despite being young. She’s always been one of those body positive people - big and loud and proud - so now I suppose she’s now going the other way with it.

Nah, I've lost lots of weight as well (5.5 stone) and while im happy to talk about it if people ask me, I can't think of many things more dull than ONLY talking about weight loss.

"Are you a secret fatty mcfattybum OP?" is what you clearly meant to sneer.

People droning on about the same thing all day, be it gymbunnies or train enthusiasts, are boring as fuck.
HTH.

That’s a shame about not being allowed headphones! I often use them in my large, open plan office so that I don’t have to listen to other people’s conversations when I’m not feeling nosey and genuinely have a lot to do! 🤣

It’s the same with some people when they take up running or cycling. They become messianic about it and bore on and on. It’s a great thing to do and I’m impressed and pleased for them but I don’t want to hear about it ad nauseam and see their Strava data.

I have hobbies, none of them healthy sadly, but I wouldn’t dream of wanging on about them to people. This type of person is the same when they have children and usually cloth eared with it “You don’t know love until you’ve had children blah, blah” - oblivious to their audience who may not have children by choice or otherwise.

When enthusiasm takes on a lecturing tone it is particularly irritating. I’m sure she wouldn’t have appreciated being in the receiving end of it herself in her more portly, less active era.

Not necessarily. It could be that OP is very skinny or used to have an eating disorder, or used to exercise a lot but now doesn't and has a problem with that.
As you can see from the threads on here, discussions about weightloss and exercise can be very interesting so it could be that OP feels uncomfortable rather than bored.

It's not like the other thread when somebody just says they're hungry all the time. From the OP it seems this colleague says different things.

Why would she find it triggering? Would you ask that about any other topic someone had become a bore on? I go to the gym a lot, I lift weights, I’m well aware that no one else cares how many reps I do and at what weight, so I don’t bang on about it. It’s boring!

And if this person is also talking about how other people can be healthier, that’s obviously annoying.

Following a very historic restrictive eating disorder (now normal weight for about 95% of my adult life) I loathe hearing about people dieting or weight loss. It doesn't matter if you're 7 stone, 12, or 28, I still hear it and cells deep in my bones start humming an old tune. I can resist it, but it just triggers the heck out of me. Not a fatty mcfattyface (but if you are, I'll bet you're enjoying life more than I did as an anorexic), but I still dislike hearing it. Our generation have all been raised with some pretty unhelpful adverts and media about thinness. It's hard to hear anyone talking about dieting without that hitting us in the self critical bone, even without a disorder.

Just be honest and tell her you’re bored of hearing about her weight loss constantly and has she got anything else to talk about. I couldn’t cope with that.

I would find it interesting and so would some other people.
Where I work, someone has lost a lot of weight and everyone wants to know how. It's not a particularly boring subject.

Can you not just say something banal like, ‘Ah that’s great. Glad it’s going well for you. Did you see Bridgerton last night?’ That’s what I do with the running bores at work.

It is if they’ve been banging on about it all day for 18 months.

McFattybum! 😅 not really. I’m more middle aged woman could be lighter could be fitter but exercises bum!

dont insult her, she’s allowed her personality. you’re also allowed to distance yourself but attempting to reframe this as her somehow being at fault is a self-biased approach. She’s not hurting anyone, you just aren’t gelling and that’s ok! we don’t all have to be friends with everyone.

I’ve lost a fair amount of weight and it’s all people ask me about 🤪 I’m really embarrassed about how people must have seen me or thought about me before so steer the conversation in another direction.
I can’t imagine anything more boring. However it sounds like her size and being proud of it was something that was her wholw
personality before so perhaps now she’s not that she’s making her whole personality about this. Irritating bit actually just an insecure young woman I suspect.

see if you can encourage her towards additional hobbies outside of calorie counting and the gym? But I feel for you!

How about this…….the next time she starts going on about it, change the subject, to something totally different that everyone else could contribute to and keep that conversation going for a while!

Whilst it is great that she has turned her life around, no one wants to hear it all the time do they?!

Alternatively, you could take the bull by the horns and say “just shut up about your weight loss, gym progress, healthy eating campaign, we’ve heard it all before”!