To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

The issue isnt the topic - its the fact that it's talked about non stop. THAT is boring. No matter how interested in weight loss I might be, I dont want to only talk about one subject all day long. Would you?

It shows how interested people are!

Catherine Tate nailed the response to this scenario.

There are plenty of people who don't have to watch what they eat.

But if you're used to reading all the weightloss threads then your view will be skewed.

But surely you can see the difference between actively logging into Mumsnet and choosing to read those threads, compared to being forced to work with someone who bangs on and on about it when you're just not interested?

Interested in what? Whether the person concerned took WLIs, ran 15 miles a day and ate only tofu and bean sprouts, that doesn’t change the outcome and the fact she’s bothering the OP. That’s the issue here.

And no-one's being forced to read them are they?

The OP and her colleagues ARE being forced to listen to this woman banging on.

They're not interested.

To be fair to her - a change like that has probably had to become all consuming and her full personality. To change so dramatically, it’s most likely something she has to think about and plan all the time. She’s unlikely to have anything else for a while.

avoid her if you can for a while. Once she’s fully settled in her new normal, reached goal and now gym and food routines no longer need will power/are just normal, she’ll have the capacity for more, for novelty.

Don’t say anything.

Gym bores really are the worst.

I don’t blame you for avoiding her.

Love this🤣🤣

I would find that annoying, whatever subject, not just weight loss.
I dont get your AIBU option. Choosing a desk away from her is fine, I would likely do the same but would resent it if I sat long away from people I normaly need to sit close by.

Tell her. This is one of those time when being too 'British' means you are just avoiding having a discussion that needs to be had.

'Oi work pal you've been going on about your weight loss for a year! You look great and I'm happy for you, but change the record for once eh? Let me tell about my holiday etc etc...'

Job done.

"But if you're used to reading all the weightloss threads then your view will be skewed."

My point was that those threads are popular enough to get into Active. It's not a special interest you have to go looking for.
It's also a big topic in newspapers, magazines and on social media.

I know a few people who have done similar and I think it happens because it becomes such a huge part of their life and I think also because they're a bit worried about old habits creeping in. So it can become quite all consuming. 18 months to lose so much weight is very fast so it's probably been very intense for her.

I totally agree that it's incredibly dull listening to it on repeat though (as it is with anything on repeat) and I also think when it starts to turn into unsolicited advice it can become quite harmful (she has no idea who will have struggled with disordered eating and who hasn't. ) so I don't think yabu at all to want to distance yourself. You can be glad for her and impressed by her and bored of it at the same time and you can put distance between yourself and anyone you want to.

I would say since it's a work capacity you need to balance this carefully. She shouldn't be feeling you're actively avoiding her because that could be interpreted hurtfully and you don't want it to compromise your working relationship.

Oh god I think I’d have to say something as this would drive me mad!

Nothing is worse than someone who suddenly thinks they’re an expert in something and drones on about it constantly.

Perhaps make a joke about it to her at first and see if she takes the hint.

Why would you want to say something hurtful to anyone, regardless of whether you like them or not.

be kind.

Do you not follow this advice, it’s really mean.

She's obviously lost the weight on WLIs and good for her that she's going some exercise to help keep it in check, but she obviously feels she has to constantly remind everyone see that she's working at it.

Perhaps if slim people stopped behaving sneerily around WLIs as if it's cheating and fat people don't deserve to get slimmer unless they do it the hard way, she wouldn't feel the need to keep banging on about the gym.

Why do you continue to ignore that fact that this woman wont stop talking about it?

Noone wants to listen to one subject non stop

The OP isnt interested it it so your point doesnt even apply here

What happens if you change the subject?

Or just call her out on it: "OK we can have 10 minutes of gym chat a day and then that's it because it's getting a bit much."

@MissPobjoysPonies I've also lost a lot of weight and HATE talking about it, or being asked about it. It's the least interesting thing about me and I've had a bitch of a year at work and so weight loss has been the smallest thing on my mind. I find it quite insulting that it's all people want to wang on about. Was I always ever and only just a meat sack to everyone?

I wouldn't say anything to her but carry on avoiding.
Personally I find the new experts in life very annoying, more so at work settings. Same goes for man-splainers (I have 2 at work currently). Lucky for me, we are allowed headphones. I also mastered "Im so busy I was concentrating on work and didn't hear what you said" look.

Agree! I find it tricky avoiding chatty people and getting on with work without appearing anti social... I think in this situation "having a chat" would definitely make atmosphere or drama at workplace

Oh my life! Nothing more boring. I’ve got one in my team, constantly yo-yo dieting, joining weight watchers, trying couch to 5K, this fad, that fad. Never seem to change size but everyone is always like - well done, good on you, so encouraging. I think you might as well face facts, it’s all talk, it’s been the best part of a decade and nothing has changed!!!

Some people might want to hear about that, as it might help them too?

But your point is completely moot because the OP is trying to get through a day at work without this woman banging on.

She is not CHOOSING the conversation as she would on an internet forum.

I'm not sure why you're not getting that?

But the OP doesnt!!!

I wouldnt bang on for ages nonstop about my children to someone who clearly wasnt interested