To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

Agree. This was OK for about 5 minutes when it came out in early 2020, but it's now used to silence women, and stop them having an opinion. It's NEVER said to men.

Well I can understand not keep wanting to hear about it. I lost 8 stone (bereavement stress) but I never talk about it. I weigh what weigh. No one needs to keep talking about it.

But, if it’s just envy, on your part, then I’d let it be and let her talk for a while,

But .....celebrating her success ALL the time?

Seems excessive

As someone who is struggling to lose weight it does make me wonder if you need that level of obsession to be successful. It sounds frustrating but no more than the woman at work that I don’t know that well who talks incessantly and in great detail about her divorce. I’d never be as rude as to tell her to stop but being honest I do avoid the kitchen when she’s in there.

YANBU. I remember working within a team of women and at one point, all ANY of them were talking about was weightloss and dieting etc. It was so boring. I must admit I did ask if we could change the subject as it seemed to be the only topic.

No advice I'm afraid apart from avoiding her but I do sympathise as I too have had experience of a diet bore. She thought that everyone was absolutely fascinated by what she'd eaten the previous day,and her gym routine. Yawn!

You don't. You need consistency, but it does not need to become your entire personality. You can quietly eat your whole food lunch in the same way you quietly ate your UPF sarnie before you started your weight loss plan.

PP asked whether it was triggering op, as if this would make it an op problem with jealousy or some such. But actually at work one ought to be mindful of other people, and banging on about weight and fitness endlessly can be insensitive to others in the office such as those struggling with health issues. Similarly banging on about pregnancy, money, politics etc etc. is not a good idea as they may evoke negative feelings in others. It's always better to err on the side of not ramming anything down the throats of colleagues about whom you know very little.

Eh? how on earth is it "mean" to not want to talk about weight loss and diets from the moment you start work at 9 until you finish at 5.30pm?

If someone I worked with had lost a load of weight I'd be really happy for them and good for them for their hard work losing it. That doesnt mean I want to hear about their diet or what they are eating every second of every day as if it's the only topic in the entire world. Any topic when its done to death gets tedious

Bloody hell. This #bekind mantra doesnt mean you have to listen to people literally talking at you about topics that dont interest you all day, every day.

Have you considered that going on about diets 24/7 might not #bekind to those you work with who might have eating disorders - not very kind or sensitive at all is it?

You can change the vote

If you like her, I'd try and bear with. She's very very excited and happy with her new self and is a bit evangelical. As she gets used to the change she should calm down. She'll probably start doing all sorts she didn't do when so much heavier and that will dilute her obsession with her body.

You have proved my point 100%. Tolerance has gone out the window...

You have proved my point - you arent "kind" at all.

I disagree. When you move elsewhere in the world where people can be more direct, you realise the advantages of it. All the worry and angst disappear. As long as its said with a smile and no ill intent, its the best way to be.

People need thicker skin.

YANBU to avoid her. People who go on endlessly about one subject are boring as fuck. I know people who do this with weight generally - what they weigh, how they’re trying to lose weight, what they do, what they eat etc etc. it’s been the same for the last 20 years. I can almost predict the conversation when I see them. Yawn…

This has really resonated with me! Since March last year, I have completely overhauled my diet and gone from being totally sedentary to exercising every day. I have lost 6 stone and I’ve never felt better! But I don’t go on about it to everyone! Unless someone actually asks how I managed it, I keep it to myself. A friend commented the other day saying that I don’t talk about it so I guess everyone is different.

I agree it’s boring to go on about the weight loss and quite inconsiderate in this situation, as it’s an open plan office where they’re not allowed to wear headphones so OP is kind of a captive audience .

But really it’s not a flex to be eating pot noodle and monster munch if it’s something you eat regularly - whether you’re slimmer than them or not. I used to eat crap like that for a while in my 20s, but health and nutrition is important and you won’t find much of that in a pot noodle.

Eating less is good if you’re smart about it and make healthy nourishing swaps.

But just to say there’s all sorts of reasons some people - especially women - find it hard to eat less.

Have you considered that going on about diets 24/7 might not #bekind to those you work with who might have eating disorders - not very kind or sensitive at all is it?

This. I used to be unaware of it but someone once told me they had to leave a dinner table when the calorie talk began due to ED and it stuck with me so nowadays I don’t just randomly talk about my weight loss with/in front of people. It’s not something I’ve ever banged on about in a settling like a workplace anyway.

The #Bekind mantra for some reason typically attracts people who just don’t want to be held accountable for their shit.

I’ve lost weight twice. Both times it was around 4 stone which is a lot on a short woman. The first time was in my early twenties and I kept it off for over a decade but I feel I wasn’t that obsessed then. Maybe that’s because it was relatively easy to achieve while I was super active and did over 10K steps easily back then as part of my regular commute and lifestyle!

But when I did try to lose it again more recently in my late 30s I found it a lot harder, (partly because of health issues which affected my energy levels, cravings and ability to exercise) Maybe because of that, I probably did become a bit obsessed as it was such a slog! Lol

But even then I saved my weight loss updates for online weight loss threads and one or two friends who were talking about losing weight too and would actively ask me about it.

What I did not do was bore all and sundry about it!

I think youve gone off on a tangent here.

The OP finds the conversation boring. For that, she wants to tell the woman to pack it in. Fair enough for her to keep her distance, but to me it feels awfully entitled to censor other people’s conversations because they don’t interest you.

Regardless this is a totally different thing to self censoring chat around calories because you know you’re in the presence of someone with an ED.

But you often don't know you're in the presence of someone with an ED. Almost none of my colleagues know my health history despite my working there for 15 years. No one even commented when I had a very brief blip in recovery and went down to seven stone. People still chatting about 'syns' in front of me whilst I'm grey faced in a jumper in summer eating my calorie counted vegetables and diet coke. I recognise we can't all understand what everyone else has gone through, but incessant talk in any direction about something as sensitive as weight in women is not rocket science to think maybe tread slightly mindfully.

Editing to add: I'm not suggesting people shouldn't be allowed to talk about diets or weight loss, just recognise that there's a limit to how long and frequently it's sensible for any of us to be filling our heads with this, especially during actual eating times.

I feel the same. I avoid going to the staff room at lunch time now as that’s all some ever talk about which is irritating and boring as hell!! I just want to enjoy my half hour - hour eating whatever I choose to eat without having to listen to what time they got up this morning for a workout or how many grams of protein is in a chicken breast /how many calories in a bit of cheese!!!

Yeah but she’s obviously been on the jabs

she can go to the gym all she wants but that doesn’t help you lose ten stone

Any subject over and over again is dull.

This morning was a case in point - we heard about this mornings 5.30am work out, and all about the running the whole family did this weekend.
Have taken myself off to a private booth so I can flipping focus!
As to whether or not I like her - am ambivalent. Shes one of those ‘big’ personalties and I find her too much a lot of the time in general. Before weight loss she mainly talked about her kid - the cleverest, funniest, best at everything etc but not quite to the same extent