To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

By yapping I presume she means going on and on about a topic she doesnt care for. Which is the exact same issue the OP describes and yet you keep saying maybe its WLI or giving reasons why weight loss is a thrilling topic.

It's not for most people. Weight loss is not a topic anyone wants to discuss all day long unless you have an eating disorder

Its a constant talking point in my team too. I find it triggering and boring. I try to not engage or ill just say you all look lovely as you are and try and drop it. One day it was hours of the same chat and I kept being pulled into the conversation and I just said that I dont want to spend my whole life thinking about my weight and diets so I dont really care about it tbh I just want to be neutral about my body. Its exhausting talking about weight and food all day long.

This is why I struggled to work in an office and now I work from home get double the amount of work done. No matter what the subject, someone banging on loudly is distracting and disrupting. YANBU because how the hell can you concentrate?

YANBU I am going through very similar actually, a lot of us in work have all lost a fair amount we all went on a bit of a journey together to kind of support each other through it, i have lost 6 stone and so has my colleague and she looks amazing and she has not complimented me once on my weight loss despite others doing it which is fine hurts a bit as we were quite close but the weight loss and everything else that goes along with it has became her whole personality you cant have a chat with her about anything else and I find myself avoiding her and actually a few other people have too.

You're not being unreasonable to not want to hear about it, although I wouldn't tell her you find it boring either as it will cause unnecessary tension at work. Just say you have loads to do, or change the subject.
Any chance you can ask to work from home a few days a week?

Fuck me I remember the “slimming world huns” in the workplace - boring and dull as hell.

“Oooo Shiela, how many syns are in that yogurt?”

“Ooooo Brenda, you’re not meant to eat a banana unless it’s mashed up!”

“Oooo Gertrude I lost 0.5lb last night at club! Not bad considering I had a McDonald’s salad on Friday!”

All the while I’m sat there with my pot noodle and monster munch weighing less than both of them 🙄

Fair enough that you weren’t impressed with the boring diet chitchat, but is it really necessary to mention how effortlessly you maintain your healthy weight on a diet of crap? It makes you sound rather smug. And judgemental.

I'm amazed at the mean girl comments. Then again, this is Mumsnet. The woman has lost a shed load of weight. Have you ever been obese? The comments you get, the dirty looks, the inability to find clothes to fit.. it destroys your self confidence. This woman has got her mojo back. Has everyone forgotten the #bekind mantra? Trying celebrating her success. You might find she's there for you when things fail for you...

I doubt it, she followed up with “no one cares what you’re having for dinner” - which is obviously common workplace chat. Sounded to me like she just didn’t want people chatting at work full stop 🤷‍♂️

I find it odd only in that I’ve lost 8 stone in the last year and I find it so uncomfortable when anyone mentions it. Genuinely makes me want to drop through the floor.

As long as it’s not unwarranted advice I don’t personally have a problem with people speaking about things they feel passionately about (as long as it’s not offensive in some way of course). I actually enjoy almost tuning out what they are saying and watching how they are saying it as their joy/passion I find improves my mood.
I wouldn’t burst her bubble as she has done so, so well for herself, but if it’s bothering you that much I think you just need to learn how to tactfully change the subject and lead it on to something else. With enough gentle redirection she’ll pick up on the fact you don’t enjoy talking to her about this subject without being unkind.
Remember that she has spent a long time overweight and has probably experienced a lot of bullying/unkindness in her life already. Kindness doesn’t cost you anything.

I also found it uncomfortable when I lost weight. To begin with, I was fine with it, but it soon became all anyone ever talked to me about, and the comments got quite personal and also bizarrely insistent and intrusive e.g

How did you do it?
Healthy eating, tracking calories, and walking, mostly
But what do you eat?
I don't know, whole foods mostly, and lean proteins like chicken.
But what exactly? What did you have for breakfast? What are you having for lunch and dinner? How long do you walk? Where do you walk? How fast do you walk? Really, that's all you had? Is that healthy? Oh, I could never. Don't you eat chocolate or crisps? I could never find time to walk that much. I bet you don't have a TV.
Leave. Me. Alone.

I’ve lost 5.7 stone as well. I cannot imagine talking about it all the time. I’d bore myself.

I would be annoyed by it.
My now ex friend did/has done really well losing a ton of weight.
Every message I used to get off her was basically of selfies of her wearing next to nothing, asking if I thought she had lost any.
I was a supportive and encouraging friend, but the whole thing had taken over her life, and she didn't think if anything else.
We fell out when we went away for my birthday. I was sick of being looked down on for eating and I had enough.

I dont understand people like her. Ive lost a lot of weight too. I dont shout about it. It's nothing but embarrassing that I was so overweight in the first place! I wouldn't be shouting about it.

I wouldn't tell her though, i think that's pretty rude?

It is a bit much when people go on and on about one thing. I daresay others feel the same way. Perhaps have a word with her, say everyone is delighted for her that she has done so well with her weight loss but as a topic of conversation it is now wearing a bit thin. If she starts again, change the subject.

I kind of get it OP I remember my mum losing a lot of weight when I was in my teens and it was great of course that she felt so good but also it did get really old when it was all she spoke about. She would wear a pedometer and always be updating everyone on how many steps she had taken and would give up a run down of every calorie she had eaten that day and would say how healthy she'd been by just having a slim fast shake and a cuppa soup then a frozen lean ready meal with a low fat snack bar for a treat. I was always like " you know that's not actually healthy right?"

Anyway all I can say is that it doesn't last forever eventually the fixation eases off and they start to talk about other things again.

You can get Loop earplugs which are quite conspicuous

Do you mean inconspicuous?

Yes! Not sure if that was an autocorrect error or a brain error 😃

IMO it’s common sense that eating too much makes you put on weight. Eat less, weigh less 🤷‍♀️

No such thing as “syns” in this house, we just don’t over eat

I thought so! 😄😘

Exactly. Everything in moderation.

The idea that all you have to do to avoid obesity is eat less and move more, is pretty outdated. I agree about the syns though. Absolute twaddle. Even the stupid name.

Fuck Be kind.