To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

Won't work for everyone but what I do is explain I find it really hard to multi task /keep track of what I'm doing. Of COURSE I'm happy to be interrupted at any time with work queries but I can't follow the general chit chat. Poke me on teams or literally come up to my chair and poke me, throw a paper ball at me, whatever, if you need my attention. And then I make sure I am super helpful if interrupted with work queries. In reality I can't zone out the 'my dog' 'my cat' 'my bones' 'covid isn't real' but at least they don't want a reaction from me on the topic of whether I'm a 'dog person or a cat person' for the 10th time in 2 years. Just make sure that 'no chat weirdo' isn't your entire work personality.

Me too. 6 stones. That loss has meant I am doing lots of new things that I can talk about - writing retreats, days out, venturing to London to see plays etc. I have no interest in sharing my weight loss tips or exercise plan (which is main walking the dogs LOL).

If I were OP the next time she asks if you are avoiding her I would laugh and say, yes, sorry, there is only so much health and fitness chat I can take on an average day as it’s really not my bag.

Is she on WLI?

Irrelevant, isn’t it? The point is that she is harping on about her diet and fitness regime ad nauseam (which may or may not include WLI).

Is she someone you were particularly friendly with before? If so, what did she used to talk about before the weight loss? You could try changing the subject back to those kind of conversations.

If she was just one of many colleagues who you shared chit chat with, then either go with the avoidance technique, or just tell her straight - look, Mandy, I’m really pleased for you, you look great, you’re obviously so much healthier and enjoying life. But it’s getting a bit boring hearing about your fitness regime all the time, can we change the subject, please?

10 stone is absolutely life changing so I would indulge her for a while to be honest ... it will naturally fade a bit with time.

You finding it dull is on you, not her. There's absolutely no reason to tell her except for wanting to try to bring her down a peg or two. Let her enjoy her new lease of life and manage your own boredom as best you can.

People in my work talk about reality TV all the time which I find incredibly tedious. I just don't participate in the conversation. I've never felt the need to tell them I find it boring. No difference.

That sounds likely. I had been thinking she might be doing this to reaffirm her resolve if she is struggling to keep the weight off. And I think when people lose that amount of weight over a fairly short period of time (10 stone in 18 months 😳) it can be especially hard to keep the weight off.

I don’t think you ABU though . People who talk about nothing other than themselves are very dull. I’m struggling to think a way of answering her honestly and diplomatically. All I’m coming up with is sarcasm or a very blunt “You’re boring me now.”

People who like to talk a lot about fitness and their step count etc... etc... are such bores.

Doesn't matter the subject but anyone that can only go on and on about that one thing is dull as dishwater.

I run a lot (5-6 times a week, 40+ miles a week). I get a lot of benefits from it. But noone else gives a fuck about my tempo Vs threshold pace so I don't tell them. It's self indulgent and boring to rabbit on about it all the time. Most people are aware that exercise and not being vastly overweight is much better for your physical and mental health, they don't need to hear it all the time.

It might be boring for you not everybody. There are the my great holiday bores and the my chikd is a genius bores and my husband is wonderful bores. They are a lot worse imho. But if its borng walk away.

It's a very very boring subject for many of us, especially if for example you've never had to diet in your life.

OP, whenever someone bangs on too much about any subject I just say, "Anyway, that's enough talk about that. What are you doing at the weekend?"

Or something similar.

I think was often happens is people swap one addiction for another
There are many alcoholics in the running world for example

She has swapped her eating addiction for WL addiction
I worked with women like this and they were obsessed with SW, commenting if anyone had an avo/ tuna salad for lunch "" oooooh that 27 Syns" and all that nonsense

Eating healthily, WL all good but honestly why the constant need for validation, frankly no one cares

Can you get Loop ear plugs that are discrete?
Is she constantly talking about this in the work day?
Quiet word from her manager that she needs to be more professional

Let her enjoy it a bit OP… it might not last long , massive percentage of people losing masses of weight , put it back on

on another note how effing abusing not to be allowed to put headphones on! Wtf do you work for?

I had a sleeve and lost 15st, but I don't bang on about it or act obnoxiously. Being fit and healthy should be seen as a normal lifestyle, not something you should be cheerleading over. Otherwise, we'd all be cheerleading over every bit of normality in life- If you're following where I am coming from.

I absolutely hate that my mother has been faffing about with slimming world and weight watchers, since I was 7yrs old. She's in her 60's and that's all she talks about - Diets, losing weight, follow so and so on the TV...blah blah blah. Great if you want to lose weight, but do it quietly and stop ramming it down people's throat. It really is dull! Do people not have anything else going on in their lives other than dieting and gym!? I say this as a massive lover of the gym! I go every week, but I don't bore people over it.

It gets a bit much!

I have work colleagues like this who talk about nothing other than how we should all be lifting weights, taking collagen and walking barefoot each morning before a cold plunge. SO boring. They've discovered health and wellbeing in middle age and now preach to anyone they can corner long enough.

I must work in the same office as you OP! My colleague also talks of nothing else but provides far more details than we need. Her diarrhoea at the start, her changing underwear sizes, what her husband thinks of her new curves etc 😫

The problem seems mainly that she's loud and invasive.

I think was often happens is people swap one addiction for another

This is so true.

It's such a massive achievement for her and if some of her enthusiasm rubs off on this fatty nation of ours then that is a good thing. Just look around you, fatties everywhere draining the NHS etc. I was one too.

Everyone here seems to think they can't possibly also be fucking boring 😅

Sure, the first time you've talked about it- very interesting.
The second time- still interesting
The third time - mildly interesting
The fourth time- getting a bit boring and repetitive now
The fifth time- STFU, we've heard this every day now for a week

Most subjects are fairly interesting the first time they are talked about - not the case if its the only topic that person now talks about!

What has that got to do with the price of fish?

"It's a very very boring subject for many of us, especially if for example you've never had to diet in your life."

There's not that many people who've never had to be careful what they eat.
Just look at 'Active' on here now. Quite a few of the threads are about weight. There's also an exercise section, which doesn't as often have threads in Active, but the weightloss ones are very popular.