To avoid colleague whose weight loss

[southcoastsammy]

Is now her entire personality?
Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.
Good for her, she looks great, feels great etc BUT it’s all she talks about ALL the time.
Her motivation, how she changed her life, her gym routines - how many reps blah blah what she eats etc.how we can all be healthier.

I just find it really dull! We have a hot desk situation at work so I have started picking a desk away from where she is sitting, and some of the team, to get away from the constant talk about it.
AIBU? Should I tell her? She’s noticed and has started going - oI Sammy! Are you avoiding me??

YABU - be happy for her. Take some of her advice.
YANBU - that’s boring, tell her you’re not interested in hearing about kettle bells any more!

YANBU.

I felt this to my very core, OP. I have a relative who is OBSESSED with weight (both her own and other people’s). She talks about her weight and the weight of others all of the time. She will even comment on my weight to me, which I’ve asked her to stop, but she doesn’t listen.

It was worse when she was on WLI because she’d send me pictures of herself, plus photos of her scales etc. My final straw with her was when she said that someone we knew “just keeps getting bigger and bigger.” I don’t respond to her pictures anymore.

Protect your sanity, OP and do whatever you need to do.

You mean on here or in real life? On here there is a forum if you want support. It’s still not the point of the OPs post.

This is a bit of a stretch to blame societies reaction towards WLI for a woman who chooses to go on about this .

Many people use WLIs while at the gym too and they do often change their diet while on WLI since their cravings/food noise is supposedly reduced, so her sharing about the gym and diet doesn’t even “prove” she isn’t on WLI. She may not even be on them.

And it doesn’t sound like anyone is asking her about if she’s on WLI. You don’t necessarily know why she’s going on about her lifestyle change. But either way it’s dull.

I’m sure people have worked with people like her before WLI were a big thing and they would still just go on about it.

Honestly OP I feel it’s a bit inconsiderate of her. Aside from the fact it’s boring to go on about any one subject, many people have previous issues with disordered eating and can actually be negatively affected. I remember being at a writing retreat and one of the younger women told me and had to leave when people started talking about calories. I have calorie counted for a while and been on a weight loss journey but I don’t just share it with everyone I come across or go on at length about it.

I use Mumsnet to talk about weight loss on relevant threads and I have one friend who is also trying to lose weight that I check in with every so often so we can share our progress. This means that I don’t feel the need to drone on about it to everyone in work/social situations.

I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable telling her to change the topic think as I guess it’s up to her what she talks about . If she spoke to me directly, I’d probably just change the subject.

I'd be jealous as hell and absolutely not want to hear about it!

I would also find it triggering, and I love running and lifting. I don't mind a bit of conversation about it and swapping tips, sharing successes and goals, etc., but it hits differently when it's framed in this way and becomes someone's entire personality.

I'd be pleased for the colleague but that little ED voice would also start up in the back of my head, telling me I'm lazy, if I don't eat as little as she does I'll get fat/people will think I'm a fat cow/not a proper runner etc and it would start pushing me to undereat her, outrun her and out train her and madness would ensue.

I would just change the subject @southcoastsammy, smile, nod, congratulate her, and then ask her what she watched on TV last night.

YANBU to avoid her, I would do the same but its not up to you to try and control what someone talks about.

I used to avoid my colleague who seemed to think she was the only person to be engaged, plan a wedding, get married, buy a car, have children etc. She drove me nuts, yes Brenda I gave birth too but don't want to share every detail.....

Oh YANBU of course. Nothing more boring than someone banging on constantly about ANYthing, but people who have lost a lot of weight are especially tedious and annoying! I just zone out and switch off.

I know someone who lost 4 stone between October 2021 and August 2022, and kept making 'you can do it too' comments, and they even said to me 'I notice how much you overeat when I'm dieting/eating healthily.'🙄 I know to some people, when they're cutting down, anyone who is eating more than them seems 'greedy' but what a fucking nasty thing to say.

She has regained every ounce now, and another stone on top, which delights me and amuses me in equal measures. 😆#sorrynotsorry (She started regaining it around August/September 2023.)

But yeah @southcoastsammy just try to let it go in one ear and out of the other. When people bang on about their weight loss, it's so delicious when they regain the weight. 😆 Just wait it out, she will pile it all back on. Most people do.

.

There is no subject on the planet i want to hear aboit constantly so would never subject anyone else to it it is rude, no idea why jealousy would have anything to do with it, just shows someone has an obsession and needs a hobby

If she’s bold enough to ask if you’re avoiding her then be bold back and say yes? I’m happy about your weight loss but talking about it all day every day is tedious. It’s up to her how she takes it.

Op I would just be sarcastic when she says are you avoiding me just say no I’m just giving you a chance to tell others about your weight loss journey also they say a change is as good as a rest and your weight loss tips could help others whereas I’m happy as I am. If this doesn’t stop her boring you just say ok this is getting boring now you look amazing and I’m so happy for you but it’s all you talk about now.

bores on any subject are so annoying

I have a family member that talks constantly about their dogs as they are a big part of her life - walking, training, agility. Boring as hell if you are not into it, so I listen for a bit, feign interest, then steer the topic elsewhere. Can you not just simply do the same?

Completely avoiding the women show a lack of basic social effort. You don’t have to be fascinated by every topic someone brings up, but there is a middle ground between fully engaging and total shutdown.

We had a colleague at work, thankfully retired now that was incredibly into eating dust and exercising non stop. She’d comment on literally anything you had for lunch, whether it was soup or McDonald’s. She ate a box of salad leaves for lunch every day for the seven years I worked with her. Nothing else, ever.

My favourite quote being “oh my god I couldn’t eat all that bread” - to a colleague eating a meal deal tuna sandwich. You’d think the woman was eating a whole sourdough with a knife and fork 😭

She also exercised excessively, even after needing a hip replacement and being told not to run again.

Which is fiiiiine, if you can appreciate that not everyone wants to be like you 🤷

Member of my team, loud and outgoing, has lost 10 stone over the last 18 months +.

That is genuinely life-changing, I'm not surprised it's a big topic for her. She was presumably morbidly obese, so this will feel like a second chance at life.

I can be quite tolerant of other people boring on, I don't mind so long as it isn't negative or upsetting, so I'd probably just let her carry on. If she gave me unsolicited advice I'd mention that though.

OP this is one of the few occasions when I would counsell less than complete honesty. She will say "oh dear did I touch a nerve?" then you will have to kill her which never looks good on a CV.

This. Are you overweight OP?

Never been fat, don't care about anyone’s weight loss, I just wish people would stop yapping in work spaces period. Or anywhere really 😩

You know you can change your vote just by clicking on the other option
?

Nobody should chat ever about anything, ever?
Become a hermit then.

Just keep it quiet, no one needs to know what you’re having for dinner

In on a weight loss " journey " ( put that tongue in cheek as have seen lots of dieting remarked as that ! )
I haven't told anyone except my dh and 1 friend who is also dieting .
I'm currently down 2 sizes but feel no need to announce anything to anyone .
I find it weird that people seem out the validation of others so much
The " journey " ( that word again ) is theirs alone .

Yes, there is only one topic in the entire world- weight loss.

The alternative to that is not merely talking about another topic that the people might be interested in, it's becoming a hermit. 🙄

WTAF?

Start talking about how utterly boring and tedious people are who only have one topic of conversation, maybe she'll take the hint but I wouldn't hold my breath! Alternatively just tell her she's totally boring, she deserves it.

I was replying to a poster who said "I just wish people would stop yapping in work spaces period". That means she doesn't want people to talk about any subject.

I mean, that's an incredible life changing amount of weight loss. It's nice she's gained some self esteem from it, she's done well.
However you're within your right to not have to listen. Try changing the topic next time or say you don't want to hear about it. She may not want to talk to you after that, but then you won't have to deal with it anymore.