To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

[IneedAniffler]

Very long story short, I work in an unregulated industry as a self-employed contractor. I provide a professional service in what can be quite a high-pressure environment, and I take a lot of pride in what I do.

Today, just before I was due to deliver a service, another person working there (in a separate but related role) slapped me hard on the backside. He clearly thought it was “banter” or playful, but I was completely shocked.

I reacted immediately and told him in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and that he must never do anything like that again. He apologised straight away, and the contractor (who works with both of us) also apologised, as did others present.

The issue is that I then had to go straight on and deliver a half-hour professional service as if nothing had happened, and then go straight to another client meeting. I didn’t really have time to process it at all.

Now I’m home, it’s all hit me properly and I feel incredibly upset. I feel violated, embarrassed, angry, and quite shaken. I also feel a bit stupid even writing this, because technically everyone has apologised and it’s “dealt with”, but it doesn’t feel dealt with to me at all.

There’s no HR in this situation as I’m self-employed, and this isn’t a traditional workplace. I’m just trying to work out whether I’m overreacting, and what (if anything) I should do next.

WWYD?

So the OP is lucky?! Wow. Just wow. I think she is ignoring this comment as it is just so inappropriate. But from me - how bloody dare you.

Something similar happened to me at work 30 odd years ago. To this day I am so annoyed that I didn't report it. Please report it you honestly will regret not doing so. 😍

This is what's wrong with society today!

I would just report it at work. I think legal action is taking it a bit far.

What do you mean by "at work"

If he’s willing to assault someone completely unprovoked in a work setting in front of others, what on earth does he get up to when he thinks others aren’t looking?!

I’d definitely report to the police, he sounds like a dangerous pervert.

Can you ask the funeral directors for a list of the bearers prior to accepting future work?

Somewhat naively I was shocked by this man’s behaviour.
then I read the context it had curd and was appalled. They really should have done decorum and respect around the deceased.
Then realised this behaviour not unusual and obviously tolerated. If you can sexually assault the bosses wife and still get hired then you have been given carts Blanche.
then suddenly those horrific stories about abuse of deceased have come to the forefront of my mind as if this is how they behave publicly and keep getting rehired, where is the line drawn privately when they are with their cronies.
Op, if you can bear to, please report- this may be an indication of something far more insidious

Then by all means report him ! If he had done it and still doesn’t realise how misogynistic it is he is a potential predator who needs stopping

But it should be the worse thing, just because women put up with a load crap when do we start to say, "enough, this isn't right".

How can you just put things on record with the police, though?
Surely if there's a crime they're obliged to investigate?

By reporting them.

Any more disingenuous questions?

Fair enough.
I'm only trying to be helpful in good faith and I am trying to empathise and no way should you brush this off.

I'm interested in others replies to this topic too but in all honesty for the life of me I also find strange that given the very outing details about yourself that you've provided here that you're not asking for it to be deleted.
Please don't misunderstand me here I don't recognise you at all and have zero interest in finding out who you are but given you've actually given away the name of your company, somebody might.

Because in all honesty, if I were still pondering legal action I wouldn't let it stand and be asking mn to delete it.

Er yeah. I agree that the way you put things on record with the police is by reporting them.

You assert, though, that putting things on record with the police is an end in itself and I question whether or not this is the case given that from their perspective that this may very well be a crime that they'll be obliged to investigate.

That 'merely' reporting it is not in fact 'an end in itself' at all.
That, in fact, I'd be setting the ball rolling as regards further action.

I do not belong to a company - this is what is insane about some posts. Where have I said that I work for a company and what did I say they were called?

If they investigate it, so much the better. But even if they don’t investigate it, it’s still worth doing. This is not difficult to understand.

My apologies. I believe that you did, though, mention a company called Dignity Ltd and another person said something along the lines of not very dignified that stuck in my mind.
The owners of the crematorium.
Nwvertheless, this may make you identifiable to others reading this.

Id love to see his face if you did report it. We have a scum bag at work who has been doing this for years. He recently did it to the wrong person and holy hell has his life just been exploded.

They operate venues across the entire stretch of the landmass of the UK, as tens of thousands of guests like myself come and go with no record so that would be quite amazing

Apology accepted

It would be like saying you could identify a painter and decorator because they said they went to B&Q

If it's a suspected crime they'll have to investigate.
Else they are neglecting their duties and opening themselves up to accusations of neglecting their duties should the alleged perpetrator commit similar offences further down the line.
Flipping heck this is just so obvious.

Thus the idea that merely reporting it and seeing it as an end in itself which you asserted earlier is patently untrue.

'We've a suspected assault here, Sarge. '

' Oh don't worry we won't bother looking into it.'

Is this what you think happens?
Of course they will investigate.

Reporting it to the police is clearly the first step in getting it investigated.

In a decent society you could have him arrested, we don’t live in a decent society.
He deserves it but the mental strain is always placed upon the victim and I personally couldn’t deal with that in this situation.

As I already said: if they investigate, so much the better.

Any further straw men?

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It really depends what outcome you'd like before you decide what to do next. Going forward I'd write a detailed account of what happened, who witnessed it & how it made you feel. If you want him punished then report it as assault to the Police. If you want it dealt with 'inhouse' so to speak have a chat with the FD asking how he's going to deal with the person he hired as Bearer. You could write a personal letter to the Bearer so he knows how he made you feel & explain that he's very lucky you're not reporting to the Police as this is Sexual assault/harassment. Let him know you've heard he's done this before to other females & you suggest he stops before he's reported for sexual assault.
Decide which form of action you want to take & see it through. He can't get away with this kid of behaviour or pass it off as 'banter' It's wrong & he should be told so.

Reporting my post @QuintadosMalvados doesn't make your posts any less awful. Sad that MN dont care about the posts encouraging a woman to not report a sex crime she suffered, only the ones calling out the minimisers and misogynists.

That’s great @Gettingbysomehow 👏🏻