AIBU to want distance from my controlling baby's father?

[lifesbeenfeelingheavylately]

This is already embarrassing for me, so I'd be grateful if you didn't pass judgment.

Five months back, I gave birth to my first child, but his father and I aren't a couple. We were never really a couple, it began as just some casual fun while my ex was in prison and he was having issues with his wife.

I've liked him forever, so the true feelings have always been there, and he's the guy I've wanted to be with all this time.

We'd been hooking up regularly and behaving like a couple, but we both knew it was wrong and had to end.

But then I fell pregnant, I let him know straight off, expecting a panic and a push for abortion, but that never happened. He said it was totally up to me what I decided.

I was planning to have an abortion, but things changed because my ex wasn’t getting out of prison any time soon, and we’d been trying to have a baby for over two years without any luck.

Throughout my pregnancy, my baby's dad was amazing, he made sure we had everything and was right there at the birth too.

I let him pick the baby's name, even though I really don't like it, but I figured I'd let him have his way. The baby also carries his last name.

He made me get our baby circumcised, not for any religious reason, but just because his mum decided that for him when he was a baby. The procedure went well, but I still feel guilty about it every day.

Only a month in, he started getting really controlling and still is.

He doesn’t want baby on social media.

He’s always trying to control what I wear. I video called him, to show the baby, and his first reaction was about my outfit, he told me to change it up because now that I'm a mother, I should dress differently.

He keeps moaning and wants to control every little thing, and I seriously can't put up with it anymore.

I just wanna take my baby and move away; he's already got his wife and three kids.

Neurodivergent conditions are as hereditable as height.

there are no conditions that cause your penis to work hard at getting into other women’s vaginas.
it’s not a coincidence that he’s brought it up now, when you are pulling away and asserting that you deserve respect, it’s just another means of controlling you. Maybe he does have OCD or and autism. He can get his wife’s help with it, and it doesn’t change that you’re a good mum and he’s a controlling asshole who keeps trying to tell you what to do. If his condition is real and he’s a good man he’d be seeing professionals and possibly medicated. Don’t ask him about the condition. Ask him how he’s working hard to manage it and what the professional advice is. And it sounds like he’s made up details to be justifying that he is happier in your house than meeting baby outside - you Do. Not. Care. You can say very caringly ‘you had probably better go home then and ill meet you somewhere with baby when you’re feeling better.

manipulative controlling asshole is his primary condition and anything else he might have is irrelevant to you. The less your baby sees him the better the chances they don’t absorb it.

Yes, they are symptoms of being a manipulative controlling arsehole.

And yes, this condition can be passed down to your baby, as he will grow up watching his mum accepting this abusive behaviour, and will think that it's normal to treat women this way.