To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

YABVVU. I wouldn’t do that for a friend. It’s a massive ask.

Hardly irrelevant; she may want to be with her partner.

I have three long haired cats and they are currently shedding. Every surface and in fact every thing in my house is covered in cat hair.

it’s even drifting in the air….

£50 for 10 days.

That’s ….. 21p an hour. TWENTY ONE PENCE 🤣‼️

Your friend should get rid of you. Awful, vile, entitled behaviour!

Cat in a Flat has cat sitters and one option is for them to stay at your place. So you could see what that would cost. If that's out of budget then I think your friend's offer to come in once a day, for no money offered, is a good one. I used to pay a friend to do the same and gave them the same money I'd be paying to the cattery.

Oh, I wonder why ....

You're being very unreasonable and really overstepping boundaries to dare put on someone like this. She's offered to do you a favour, by checking in on the cat daily, while is quite a big inconvenience, but it isn't good enough for you. I'd completely rescind my offer of help if i were her.

Exactly. When I go away it's part of my budget.

Is this some weird reverse social experiment scenario for school debates?

no, the friend has a partner, who it seems is happy to not only stay at home for ten days but has promised not to use electricity, gas or water so the OP can congratulate herself on saving the friends utility bills , as she says in her post at 20.19, this seems like a “fair trade” especially when you factor in the full fridge and larder of food chosen by the OP, almost certainly guaranteed not to have come from Ocado, Waitrose, Abel and Cole….

This can’t be real!

For security? What about her house whilst she moves into yours?

It was kind of her to come and feed the cat every day. Perhaps go back and say you’re sorry, you panicked and didn’t mean to offend. You may just bring this friendship back.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

It's not her house. It's a huge ask, and your post is insanely condescending about her and her life. You're lucky she offered what she did. Your lack of planning is not her emergency, and you're obviously unreasonable.

Wow you aren’t getting it

I'm amazed that this thread is still standing, and that people are still replying as if it's real.

It’s all about OP remember

I am amazed that op has a friend.

Hardly shocking given your general attitude to your supposed “friend”

With friend like you . . .

This cannot be real! On the off chance that it is, OP you are a very bad friend and a very bad pet owner.

You don't need a holiday.
You just really want one.

hahahaha you have some front like.

I really hope @OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere that you are taking on board all of this. I doubt you'll be able to salvage the friendship if you don't because you have treated your mate really shabbily over this. You came here to ask the question - you have your resounding answer. There is no shame in being wrong, but there is shame in not listening to people telling you exactly why your view is wrong and how it is likely to have impacted on your friend.

She has very generously offered to go round daily. Much better than an automatic feeder.

Say yes please and buy a thank you gift or say no thanks and make other arrangements. Do not ask for 6 days.

If cattery fine for 4 days it is fine for 10, use that if you prefer.

I adore my cat. When I go away my mum comes to stay and look after her. However this is my mum, she likes staying at ours because it gives her a change of scenery, and she likes some time in her own to do as she fancies.

We have friends that look after her if it’s only overnight, and we look after their cats too. But it’s only ever popping in a couple of times a day.

As some who loves her cat I can’t understand how you would go from ‘she can’t go away’ to ‘I’ll get an automatic feeder’.