To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

This is a wind up.

That's a big ask and very short notice for anyone to do.

People can be anxious about staying away in someone else's house, it's not always a comfortable experience regardless of how nice the house is. Please don't read any more into it, she is nervous and knows her limits.

However you do need someone to look after your cat, preferably a person who will stay with the cat for a while, not just feed her. Good luck.

It's not a fair trade because she doesn't want to do it. She wants to stay at home with her own things around her. Saving some money on food and utilities won't make up for that.
Would you go and stay at someone else's house for 10 days?
The problem is that this is a much bigger ask than you realise. Giving some lifts and being a shoulder to cry on are not equivalents.

😂😂😂😂😂. This is the most obvious rage bait post ever because I refuse to believe I live in a world with someone as stupid as this but thankfully this is just someone having fun behind a keyboard

This!

I would be saying ‘not on your nelly!’. Get a grip OP! You should have thought about the cat before you booked the holiday.

Now I know you’re joking!

Trusted house sitters - you only pay to register it’s not much and then the sitters do it for free in exchange for someone to stay. We generally can find people we know to do it but we have a nice house in a very desirable and expensive city.

What a lovely friend you are, totally reasonable and non-judgemental. Hard to believe she didn't want to live your far superior lifestyle for ten days and didn't cave in to your subtle emotional blackmail. Shame on her! If she has any sene you won't now see your selfish, ungrateful friend for dust.

Horsey peeps, eh. My neighbour friend turned up with their two horses one morning, the day before we flew out for a couple of weeks, "Just heading away for a bit, your house/horse/dog/cat sitter won't mind looking after these two as well; who shall I put them in with?" 😁😁 😁 Lucky for her, I was well into holiday mode, I knew her horses were no trouble, and house/horse/dog/cat sitter said it was fine by her. So yeah, maybe OP is genuine.

So you want to her to live away from her partner for 10 days in your house while you go on holiday and you think this is equivalent to giving her a few lifts and listening to her when she split up with a previous boyfriend?

Very strange perspective.

Don't ask her again, for the love of god! She doesn't want to hang around alone in a house that's not her home, away from her partner, being responsible for your cat that she probably gives no hoots about whatsoever. It was insulting to offer £50 when you can clearly afford a 10 day holiday. Just pay for your cat to go to the nice place you found for the whole 10 days!

Nah. It's a reverse.

Says who?
I had to look after my sister's cat for a week, I lasted 2 days. Hardest 2 days ever, I can't look after pets at all.
I asked my brother and he took over,phew
No thanks, I'm not a cat person at all.

I think people are being unreasonable. I would always help a good friend out. Ten days in a house near my own to look after a cat sounds like a dream to me! We have friends that help us out like this all the time. Sorry she won’t help.

Reversey Percy?

If not you are terribly obtuse. You seem to think you're doing her the favour but she has her own home and partner and you think it's no big deal to be separated from them for 10 days.

I wonder why 🤔

“I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way”

Sorry, exactly in a tit for tat way. Your friend will think you’re trying to call in favours - you are absolutely trying to guilt her into it. As for “will ask if she can do 6 days and I will pay for a cattery for the other 4 as I have found a nice looking one with good reviews for £17 a day. If that’s also a no, I will just buy an automatic feeder.” - it will be a no. Your friend has turned you down twice: don’t ask her again. You really are being an CF if you do, and I guarantee it will be the end of your friendship. Are you seriously suggesting that if your friend says no (as she will), that your cat is left home alone with an automatic feeder? What kind of uncaring cat-owner are you?

There are plenty of people out there willing to cat-sit, or to come in twice a day and feed and be with your cat. If you’ve found a nice cattery for £17 a day, then leave your cat there for ten days. £170 doesn’t seem unreasonable. It’s all part of being a responsible pet owner, OP.

Cat mam. My girl wouldnt like a cattery at all. So when im away my friend pops in feeds her and may stay 10mins to fuss her if she isnt hiding. But she doesnt stay. And YABVU to try and insist

1. If your cat is this special you should have taken this into consideration when booking a holiday
2. Your friends lack of DC and ability to work at home dont make this any less a massive favour. A 30min round trip with having to feed, and clean up after your pet every day is a pain in the bum. Its very generous to do that
3. If shes house sitting your "nicer home" (saying that makes you sound a right dick btw) in this not nice area.. whos being security at her house?
4. Lifts arent the same ask at living at your house for 10days

You want a holiday and your cat to avoid a cattery and shes made an offer that would accommodate that. And this whole security element says its more than the cat. You want free labour for 10days. Im not saying its terrible to have asked for her help, but shes agreed and youve said no you want more help and believe youre entitled to it.

Id either accept her very kind offer, ask if the cat can go to hers for company, book a cattery or cancel the holiday and keep your cat happy and home secure

Full of troll threads lately.

I wouldn't want to stay in a home other than my own for 10 days either. My house is set up for me with my home comforts and I wouldn't have to worry about breakages or finding another person's bed uncomfortable.

The cat will be fine with her just popping in. Maybe ask if she can spend a little bit of time with your cat each day?

10 days is a big ask! 😑

'Fun' is doing some heavy lifting here.

Why wouldnt you just accept her offer to feed her for 10days without staying?

I would pop in to feed the cat, maybe stay an hour each day, but I wouldn't be staying at my friends house for that long either.

Why cant you take her up on the offer of popping, . end of the day its a cat.. and I am a cat lover but they are quite independent and will be fine as long as he is fed and watered!!