To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

Ooh, a backstory!

This is bonkers It’s a cat, get someone to come in twice a day and pay for it, it’s not that expensive.

Why’s that op?

Agree. The OP does not sounds like a good pet owner. She doesn't sound kind. To leave her cat alone for 10 days with an automatic feeder is a horrific idea. That's the sort of thing you use if you're away all day (like at work,) or maybe at a push - 2 days away... Not 10 bloody days! That poor cat. 😢 What if the automatic feeder malfunctions?!

@OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere Please consider rehoming your cat.

You remind me of my sister, it's all about her and her pet care comes secondary. She even went away on holiday and just left the dogs in the house and dropped a key through my letterbox, despite me saying I wouldn't watch them. I'm not going to let the dogs suffer so ofcourse, and as she knew, I ended up looking after them.

Don't make plans without FIRST ensuring your pets are looked after. It's absolutely sick in the head to not consider them first and foremost. As to leaving an automatic feeder... Just put the cat up for adoption, you don't deserve one.

she offered to come and feed your cat EVERY DAY, and you think she’s taking the piss?

You are so far past the line (of being UR), you can’t even see the line. No real point arguing with someone who thinks like this.

For god's sake just leave it now and apologise. You have been totally unreasonable. You should not have booked the holiday on he entitled assumption that she would look after your cat. Why should she leave her house lying empty for ten days so that yours is kept secure?

Do not leave the cat alone for ten days with an automatic feeder, that's far too long.

I'd love to know why too! Why do your neighbours not speak to you @OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere ???

Exactly! And she isn’t saving on energy costs or food bills because her partner is home as normal. Despite the stories you read on here, some of us quite like our partners and husbands and would not want to be apart from them for 10 days purely to look after a mate’s cat!!

100% this. ^

I'm not surprised tbh

Mind you, if the friend agrees to do it (I know, I know) she and the partner could have crazy all night long sexy time in the OPs bed, and, OP WOULD NEVER KNOW!

Not to mention the sofa, the kitchen units, the table, the back garden , the shower, the spare bed…….

They’re probably all covered in cat hair though

You should of saved up for longer to be able to afford a proper cat sitter

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

So you think because she doesn't have DC she has no other significant things in her life that she can up sticks and stay at yours for 10 days?

You refuse her kind offer of popping each day, and want her to do free house & cat sitting.

YABU.

If she wanted to stay away from her own home for 10 days, then that would be lovely. She doesn't want to - but she's offered to pop in on your cat. Everyday for 10 days - that's quite a favour. But not good enough for you. No wonder she's distanced herself - you seem to think her time and life are of so little account she should drop everything for 10 days so you can go on holiday. Hmmmm

Have I just found my first reverse ?

Right? It's 15 minutes away, so that's an hour travel... plus the time spent in the house feeding the cat, changing water, maybe changing a litter tray, giving it a bit of affection. Minimum of two hours every single day for ten days - 20 hours. And she was prepared to do that because she's a good friend. Give up her time, pay for fuel to get there and back, so that her mate could have a nice holiday. And somehow that wasn't good enough.

you don't want your house. empty but it's ok for hers to be. Madness. Be thankful she's offered to come by and feed the cat.

Wow…it’s you who is being incredibly selfish

This has to be a reverse!

Speechless

I was just about to post the same!

You are being absolutely unreasonable!... That is such an ask. No wonder your friend said no!

I think this is a fake thread.

Of course nobody is going to house sit in a rough area, leaving their own home comforts and partner for 10 days and only £50!!!

very very selfish and judgy too - to say your house is nicer. Yet yours is in a dodgy security area.

like others have said you should have planned this before booking.

no wonder she’s gone distant. If this is true of course.

Ooh yes that would make sense.