To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

What have I just read?! Jfc.

I've just had an operation. My cats had to go to a cattery while I was away and for a few days after my return until I was safely mobile. My friend very kindly picked me up when I was discharged and drove to the cattery to collect my cats and bring them back home. The cattery stay cost me £168. I was very grateful to my friend . No way would I have asked her to move into my house.

Hope you're on the mend - at least cats are the best medicine for recovery.

You don't expect someone to move into your house unless it's obvious they want to for an escape from living with parents/some solo time.

Loved our cats with the whole of my heart but arranged for DPs to go round twice a day to feed, let out them feed and bring in.

Thank you. My recovery is going really well and it's lovely to have the cats home.

How did you go from "I need my friend to stay with my cat for ten days" to "Whatever, I'll buy an automatic feeder"?

That's wild.

This cf'ery is up there as a mate of mine who asked me to have her dog (monday-friday)

No money was to change hands-this was purely a favour

We love the dog so said yes

She fucked off on her break (leaving no food so i was out of pocket straight away) and on the friday morning,I messaged to ask what time she was planning on picking him up (I was knackered as hes very clingy and very hard work)

'Oh I dont know what time i'll be back,I know hes having such a nice time with his auntie and uncle,why dont you keep him until Sunday and drop him back at mine for about 4pm?' (She lives about 6 miles away and dp won't allow dogs in his car as its his pride and joy-im damned if i was walking 12 miles to drop her dog off)

She picked him up 5pm on the friday and acted like she'd done me the favour (she didnt even pick up a token gift to say thank you)

I didnt realise there was more than one cheeky pet fucker out there

Either that or this is a joke

You live in a less than desirable area where you are worried about security - that and the few £ a day earnings would put me off too

Awww bless you, this must be an attention seeking click bait scenario? You can't possibly believe your friend is in the wrong here.......can you??

You should have thought of this before booking your holiday. Please do not leave your cat for ten days on an automatic feeder and no company, poor thing. Your friend is happy to feed the cat, just not stay. Ask that she spends an hour to play/interact or use a well reviewed cattery where he/she will get interaction and have other cats to see. This is on you, not your cat.

You also say it's "not the best area" OP. So maybe she feels unsafe? And even if she wfh, she might not be allowed to work elsewhere. Some employers insist the employee works at their listed address (when they move house, they need to do a security update, which can take ages).
But maybe send a message to all your friends-they might be able to do it, or advise about a son/daughter etc who would be happy to stay there for a small amount of pay, particularly if they're visiting.

It's a big ask if she doesn't want to stay in your house with your cat. It's not for everyone. I'm not a cat person and can't think of many things worst than living in a house with someone's cat 24/7 for 10 days.

So glad to hear it. I'll bet it is. And cat purrs are scientifically proven to help human health! Hope the recovery continues to improve at a solid rate and you're fully back on your feet before too long.

Then you can’t afford to go on holiday can you?!

Just put the cat in the nice place you’ve found , four days vs ten days isn’t going to be any easier on the cat but not the end of the world ….. or pay the going rate for a cat sitter

An automatic feeder for 10 days?! How would that be better than your friend coming round once a day to feed the cat cat, check in on her and the house and give her a few mins of fuss?

Expecting her to move into your house, away from her partner for 10 days is a huge ask. I wouldn't want to do that - it's not her home so she won't be as relaxed and comfortable and at ease as she would in her own place with her own things. Popping in every day is absolutely proportionate and reasonable for her to offer instead.

Your comments about your house being nicer are just unpleasant.

Why would she want to be separated from her partner for 10 days, to be with your cat and look after your house, because you haven’t planned appropriately.

If you cannot afford appropriate pet care whilst you’re away then either you can’t afford to be a responsible pet owner or you can’t afford the holiday.

You are being so unbelievably selfish I genuinely do not believe this post is real.

Thanks. The hospital physio says I'm well ahead of schedule and I'm in much less pain than I was prior to surgery. And the cats are purring a lot.
💙💙

id never expect someone to move out of their home for ten days to take care of my cat. You sound completely unreasonable. Giving someone a lift is a different thing entirely. She's already offered to feed your cat and check on her which is more than generous. Do you treat all your friends like this?

Really surprising. Why might that be

Oh my god I hope she's on here 🤣

My friend asked us to feed her cat, just once and next time they'd use a cattery. Her DH was too tight to pay so they kept asking. Even after I said no in advance when I knew they'd booked, they waited until the day before and begged in front of everyone, and without an excuse like a booked holiday, we couldn't easily say no, let your cat starve, as we only lived 2 minutes away. Then they got a large dog. I said btw we don't do dogs. They still asked us 'to just throw it some food'. Luckily we were also going away and she was stumped!! Oh well, her MIL will have to do it. They didn't go for a few days, btw. It was 4-6weeks!!

The thing is, it's a huge imposition to even drop by to feed, clean/change litter & give the poor things a bit of attention, let alone move house. Friend's cat got out (didn't know had form for this) and we were frantic trying to find her.

I used to get a small gift card tossed in with her groceries when back.

Never, ever again. If you want a cat, you either don't holiday or find a suitable care option.

Excellent - cat medicine is escalating recovery! So good to hear. Great stuff!

“I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half…”

Wow 😂😂😂

This thread has got to be a joke.

Is this a reverse?