To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

Mate you can’t ask someone to stay in your house just because you think it’s nicer than their house. She might hate your house. She might have hobbies or interests. She might want to be messy and also she might not want the stress of a cat.
yabvu she was nice enough to offer free help, if you’re not happy pay for it

Then pay a cat sitter to do it. Asking someone to live somewhere else for 10 days is a big task.

My house is so nice I might start charging people to stay and look after my pets. I bet they'd be queuing up to.

Yes YABU its a BIG ASK she needs to pack everything she needs and decamp to your house out of her own environment. Probably never feel "relaxed" maybe she also doesnt love cats that much...

Because she doesn’t fucking want to? I wouldn’t want to stay in someone else’s house for ten days either. One or two nights I get but ten days?!!

She has a partner so completely irrelevant

I was just thinking this myself. I’m going to stop paying a dog sitter when we go away and post on the local fb page to see who wants to pay to stay at my lovely home with a fully stocked fridge instead. I’ll have a queue round the block I bet!

You are insane.

Giving someone a lift or listening to them complain about an ex is not comparable to asking them to cat/house sit for ten days.

She is right to distance herself.

Cat sitters are expensive for a reason, the reason being that it's a big ask.

This has to be made up.

Checking in & feeding said cat is fine, but your nuts thinking it’s no big deal for her to stay at yours for ten days.

You’re prioritising your cat’s preferences and comfort over your friends. Not acceptable

So hang on… what’s he doing for these 10 days? Why on earth would she want to go and rattle around a big empty house on her own? Unless she hates him of course she’s not going to want to stay away from him be real… and even then she might be worried about what she comes back to!

Just book the cat into the cattery - it will get used to it the more it goes.

Omg it gets worse so you want her to be away and sleep away from her DP for 10 days 🤣

This is either made up bollocks or a reverse

Even worse - you want her to separate from her partner for the sake of your holiday?!

So even more reason she doesn't want to be at yours for 10 days. Oh sorry BF I am cat sitting for the next week and a half, see you when I return.
You are very cheeky and I feel this is a wind up as no one would be upset with a friend for saying no to doing this.

The more you post, the less I believe that this is real.

Of course its a big ask! I wouldn't want to live in someone else's house for 10 days either, even if feeding and sitting with a cat is not a hard task (according to you).

I wouldn't care if you stocked your fridge with the finest food and drink for me, i still would rather stay in my own home and my own bed at night. The saving on energy and water would be negligable and not worth it for me.

It is not comparable to helping someone out by giving them lifts occasionally!

Next time you book a holiday, book a cat sitter at the same time.

😂 So you expect her to leave her partner for 10 days??

Which is why it's so cheap to pay somebody who wants to do it, rather than attempt to force somebody on the basis of twenty minutes in a car to do it.

Cost me a tenner a day for somebody to come in, feed, clean litter trays, play for half an hour and fuss/groom them.

This can't be real, no one's this dense..... are they? 🤔

Expecting someone to stay in your house to look after your cat for 10 days is a huge ask. It may not be hard work as such, but if you had to pay someone to do it, it would cost a lot. And your friend has other things to do with their life than looking after your cat 24/7.

OP, you're being so selfish.
Not to mention self entitled.
Presumably you've asked your friend to stay in your house for 10 days to look after your cat for free because you're too tight to pay for a cat sitter.
No wonder your friend has distanced herself.

This is incredible! The absolute height of cheeky fucker-y, OP.

YABU - you can't expect anyone to do that much for you, friend or not.

I have a cat who has different but equally tricky-to-manage conditions, so it's tough luck for me that I can't go away till she gets better or is no longer here. That's the risk I took when I got a pet.