To think she could help just this once?

[OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere]

I feel like I’m going mad because in my head this is what friends do, but she’s acting like I’ve asked for something outrageous.

I’m going on holiday next month for 10 days. It’s been booked for ages and I really need it. The issue is my cat. She’s quite anxious and doesn’t do well with catteries, last time she barely ate and lost weight, so I don’t want to put her through that again.

I asked a close friend if she could stay at mine while I’m away to look after her. She doesn’t have kids, works from home most of the time, and only lives about 15 minutes away, so it didn’t seem like a huge ask to me.

She said she could pop in once a day to feed her but didn’t want to stay over. I said that wouldn’t really work because the cat needs company and also I’d prefer someone actually in the house for security. It’s not the best area and I’d worry the whole time otherwise.

She still said no and suggested I try a professional sitter, but they’re expensive and it just feels a bit impersonal having a stranger in my house.

I did point out that I’ve helped her before, given her lifts, been there for her when she’s had issues with her ex etc. Not in a tit for tat way, just that I thought we had that kind of friendship where you help each other out.

She’s now gone a bit distant and said she feels “put on the spot” and “guilted”, which wasn’t my intention at all.

I just don’t really get why staying in a nicer house than hers for a week and a half (no offence to her!) and hanging out with a fairly low maintenance cat is such a big deal.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit selfish ?

I take it you don’t like yours that much.

How loaded is the ‘she doesn’t have kids’

The only way this would be attractive would be if your friend lived at home and felt crowded, or with unpleasant flatmates or something. Then it would be a break. Not if she has her own place.

You asked, she said no and then you guilted her by bringing up all manner of normal friendship actions as justification for why she should yes when she has already said no to you. How nasty.

I catsit for someone in the same capacity and also live 15 minutes away - but never for longer than five days because it IS disruptive. You have to pack a suitcase with toiletries, clothing, slippers, nightwear, etc. If you WFH you need to take all of your tech and stationery with you. Whether or not the fridge is stocked is immaterial unless you stock it specifically with things that they would usually eat/drink. Plus after ten days she will inevitably need to restock items - it's not the free ride that you think it is. Edited this section because the security issue is not an issue... however now we know she has a partner that she lives with it introduces another element - being apart from your OH for almost two weeks!!

Plus you don't sleep in your own bed and you are always aware that you are in someone else's home - I wouldn't care if I dropped a mug in my own house, but it's a different matter when you are in someone else's home - you don't properly relax, particularly as other than having custody of someone else's home you also have custody of their animal(s). Which is a genuine responsibility. I have had to give cat antibiotics before and be ready for a trip to the vet if something goes wrong - you can't anticipate if something will happen when you are away.

Thank goodness the person I do it for is always so unbelievably grateful when I say yes - because she gets that it is an imposition and not just a little favour. She also buys me really nice presents (and I get to look at her BAFTAs!)

There's a reason why people make a living from moving in with pets for the duration that their owners are away. As I said, it's not a minor imposition.

I didn’t ask for her to do it for free. I offered £50 for staying after the initial offer to come in and feed the cat but she said this was insulting. But I’m not made of money

So you want her to live separately from her partner for 10 days so your house isn’t unoccupied.

Book a cat sitter or find one of those sites where people pet sit to get a holiday. You have booked a holiday without arranging care for your cat which isn’t your friends’ fault.

It’s hard with pets but we pay a fortune for pet sitters, it’s just what you have to do.

But you can afford to go on holiday?

@OhDearWhatDoWeHaveHere I'm so glad I don't have arrogant users like you around me.
Did you say you asked a friend? I don't know how you could have any friends.

Yabu, and it was exactly your intention to guilt her in to it, which is why you said all those things to her. Cats are absolutely fine with someone coming in once a day to check on them. No need for someone to move in!

So don’t book a 10 day holiday! We have to factor in the pet sitting cost in our holiday budget.

This makes it even worse, it’s inconvenient and she also has to be away from her partner for 10 days! OP you’re nuts, your cat doesn’t need company for 10 days!

I have a very anxious cat and now has to be on Gabapentin for stress. I would never book a jolly unless she had care in mh home. In your shoes I would cancel the holiday.

I don't think you're particularly well-suited to having pets - or friends! - to be honest.

Saying that, I think this is all too ludicrous to be real.

You want personalised , utterly trustworthy live in care for ten days, and you aren’t prepared to pay more than £50 for it. You are a piss taker!

Sounds like you’d better not go on holiday then if you can’t be bothered to pay for the level of cat sitting you want.

Does she like cats? I looked after my friend’s cat one time when she was away, and I found it hellish TBH. That cat did not like me! I’m just not an animal person…

This is fantastic entertainment.

So - you want her to transplant her WHOLE LIFE for TEN DAYS? Not see her OH, unless he also consents to this insane plan?

and then you go even nutser by saying that this is worth FIFTY OF YOUR ENGLISH POUNDS? hahahah

PS. I really agree that catteries are fucking cruel and should be banned - cats hate being kept in close quarters with strange cats, and that's before you get to the fact that they're basically battery hens while they're there.

But the solution to this is to pay a catsitter, obviously. Or don't go on hols.

You're either on the wind up, or this is a reverse!

£50? She’s right that is insulting. What did you plan to do with your cat when you booked the holiday? You really needed to have sorted a plan before you booked, and budgeted in a cat sitter.

You’re being v unreasonable. Coming once a day for 10’days is very kind and falls into the “what friends do” category for close friends. You will have to pay a professional sitter. It’s just part of the cost of your holiday if you have a pet

lol that’s now where near what my cat sitter would charge.

in all seriousness, my cat sitter who does it as a job is insured, takes a photo of my cats each feeding time to message me, will give them their meds and will take them to the vets if necessary.

she’ll do max a week of moving into your house to pet sit (it’s usually dog owners that want this)

Yep the details that keep being added...able to afford a 10 day holiday yet not made of money and unable to pay a proper cat sitter.
Someone is bored tonight.

Rage bait or reversey percy.

£50 for ten days? You are having a giraffe!

You can afford to go away for 10 days tho

£50 is a piss take and even more so to be away from partner

guessing cat sitting is prob more like £20-30 a day so £200/300 for 10 days not 50

This isn't real. It can't be.

This has to be a reverse.