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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so fed up of my dh noise cancelling headphones

173 replies

Allthedays1 · 15/04/2026 18:32

He has them in alot. He will come home from work, chat for 15 minutes if that then block everyone out and watch YouTube with them in. I will be in the shower and the youngest will come and get me if she wants something even if he's in the room with her. It's doing my head in. I get he talks all day at work but we still exist. At the weekend I watch no TV unless kids are in bed or watch with them. He just sits with the headphones in for hours watching on his tablet
Today our child had a problem at school. Dh had his hoodie up in the kitchen, I started talking to him about it and then son says "mum he can't hear you he's got his headphones in". I'm going to work in a bit so it's not like I can tell him later. Please tell me I'm not the only one with a dh like this

OP posts:
illsendansostotheworld · 15/04/2026 18:35

God what a man-child. Thankfully no my dh isn't like this. Have you tried talking to him about it op?

Ilikewinter · 15/04/2026 18:36

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that your DH is in the minority! He's acting like a teenage man child - headphones on and hood up FFS.

m1ghtl1ke · 15/04/2026 18:36

Sounds like a teenager

Manicmondayss · 15/04/2026 18:37

Does he have any uses? Sounds like a waste of space

Createausername1970 · 15/04/2026 18:38

That's not acceptable.

What happens when you go to work?

Its downright disrespectful to you, but it's also potentially dangerous if he isn't aware of what the kids are getting up to around him.

This IS heading into selfish, deal-breaking behaviour for me.

BreadstickBurglar · 15/04/2026 18:39

Mine had a phase of doing this whenever he was doing anything round the house so I had to practically attack him before he could hear me. Our compromise has been just one side in if other people are still around.

doing it in the room with the children is shit though - how rude of him! All I can suggest is being straight that it’s unacceptable then interrupting him with your or the kids needs as often as possible they come up.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 15/04/2026 18:39

I wouldn’t allow my child to behave like this. It’s just rude!

Frostynoman · 15/04/2026 18:40

Mine does. Drives me bonkers

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2026 18:41

So rude.

Pepperedpickles · 15/04/2026 18:42

That is absolutely not acceptable. He’s using them as a way of checking out of family life.

Original poster
Allthedays1 · 15/04/2026 18:43

He said he's got a headache ( which he does have) but then how does that help? He does it all the time!! To be fair if I try and get his attention he will pause but it's so annoying.

OP posts:
deserthighway · 15/04/2026 18:44

On no account whatsoever would I accept that behaviour and I accepted A LOT of crappy behaviour (before divorce)

I swear I would smash every pair he brought into the house. Tell him to put them away or you'll smash them.

Original poster
Allthedays1 · 15/04/2026 18:45

illsendansostotheworld · 15/04/2026 18:35

God what a man-child. Thankfully no my dh isn't like this. Have you tried talking to him about it op?

I've mentioned it before and he says "I can't hear my program otherwise" he does it when he is doing something like washing up, making food etc but I find it so rude it just blocks free flow talk. As a kid my parents had the TV on all the time but it felt less intrusive because they could still hear us.

OP posts:
Bumblenums · 15/04/2026 18:49

They would be in the dogs outside water bucket by now OP - ive chucked my DHs phone in the garden before because hes not engaging with me or the kids - bloody things, its not acceptable and you need to tell him as much.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 15/04/2026 18:50

I make mine use them, because he’s a noisy bugger and that winds me up. Loud formula 1, loud podcasts… he’s got hyper focus so can have several things running at the same time.

But we don’t have DC. So no one actually wants him 🤣 I just walk in front of him when I do. Key thing is, get the dc to walk up to him and tap his hand.

Phineyj · 15/04/2026 18:51

This is how the sixth-formers I teach would behave if we let them.

How childish and unattractive! Imagine if you all did it. You'd be bouncing off each other like tourists doing audio guides in a museum...

Cryingatthegym · 15/04/2026 18:53

I had one that did this until I divorced him. I found it so rude and disrespectful. He would get angry if interrupted as well, just for added fanny-clamping effect.

ThejoyofNC · 15/04/2026 18:54

I couldn't live with that. Tell him to stop being such a selfish arse and take them off while the kids are up at a minimum.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 15/04/2026 18:55

My bloody teenager is like this but not my OH.

youalright · 15/04/2026 18:56

Unless you married a 14 year old then no adult men are not like this

SweetPea0705 · 15/04/2026 19:02

It’s rude. I wear loop earplugs round the house on an evening sometime after a stressful day as they take the edge off the noise of 3 kids. I can still hear and I’m not checked out.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 15/04/2026 19:03

Being glued to a screen won’t help his headache. Maybe he needs to find things to do that don’t require a screen? Interact with his children, chat to his wife, do chores etc.

He’s opting out of family life and setting a terrible example to DC. On that note, I’m getting off my phone to do some laundry!

lazyarse123 · 15/04/2026 19:03

We don't have such new fangled things but dh wears hearing aids that are connected to his phone so he can listen to all the shit he likes but he has a habit of telling me something that he's listening to and then carries on with his phone so when I answer him he has to pause it. I do find it rude and have told him that if he wants a conversation to actually have one. He is getting better.

OneNewEagle · 15/04/2026 19:03

Mine is also doing it more and more. Has them in all day wfh unless on the phone. Fair enough I guess but means he doesn’t even hear the door for his deliveries. ( means I have to get door, cover other things etc that aren’t to do with me including in his lunch hour as he now prefers to eat in office with them in rather than with me downstairs).

and in the last year has them in to also wash up or cook so I don’t even attempt to speak at those times anymore (means I’m covering everything else as well….we have pets etc). When I’m cooking and washing up I’m also expected to hear everything else that’s going on and deal with it.

then has them in to watch tv every night in the lounge. ( means I’m no longer able to use the lounge so just go up to my bedroom most evenings unless he decides to do gaming in the office with them in for that too).

Followed by in all night to block out any noise to sleep. ( means I’m up and down all night seeing to the pets or anything else that happens).

we are going through a bad patch as I feel as if I have no support and he doesn’t speak to me…I keep pointing out he’s not speaking to me as he has them in. I feel like I’m continually on block or muted and it doesn’t feel like a relationship to me. Anything important we don’t discuss as he’s not even listening to me, I tried having a conversation over 6 weeks about a utility bill. He’s never got back to me so in the end I have just paid all of it….it’s one we used to split.

OneNewEagle · 15/04/2026 19:07

Btw if we had kids and he was doing this I’d have left.