Would you come to my “birthday “ get together?

[Donotfitin]

I haven’t had a proper birthday party (with acial friends) in like 10 years, but I feel like I now have enough close people to invite (4).

the problem is that they don’t know each other, and one in particular has never met any of them, and I’ve never been out with her before (she’s my “school mum friend”) . Would it be weird to invite her? Would it be awkward for her?

I know I’m overthinking this, but I’ve never been in this position before.

Depends on what kind of party. If people do not know one another, maybe something informal like a drinks party would be better.

I wanted to go out for dinner BUT I think that place could be too pricey for one of my friends.

the idea of hosting a dinner (with their husbands) also crossed my mind. As I know all of them apart from one (and so does my DH) but thought that could
be TOO intense

I would come for dinner either out or at a restaurant but not with DH if he didnt know you.

The only one we’ve never met apparently is super keen to go on double dates, but I think it could be super weird for everyone else.

I would suggest meeting for drinks rather than dinner to start with. I think hosting a dinner party for everyone including partners, might be hard work, especially if they don’t get on well or are fussy eaters.

What about something more casual at your house? Invite them as couples. Eight of you for drinks, substantial nibbles etc. Less formal than a sit down dinner. Depending on your friends, games etc? More of a gathering than a party.

Why would it be “super” weird? You all
know each other apart from one bloke who is “super” keen to meet people, that’s a normal situation in which to make friends. Just invite them, they will say no if they can’t make it.

I think it depends what kind of event it is. If it was dinner/drinks where it's all/only about being sociable, I'd find that difficult.

If it was to see a show or maybe do a craft or a sport, I'd go.

If you invite anybody to a 'party' or any celebration for your birthday then you need to pick up the tab. Personally, I'd keep it low key (as they do not know each other - awkward silences?) and meet in town for cocktails. But that's me.

Look, you’re going to be working harder than usual as host anyway, if none of your friends know one another — but at least you know all of them, so you can introduce them to one another, and they have you in common.

But if then you add in an extra four people, none of whom know one another or you or indeed anyone other than their own wife or girlfriend , I think that’s potentially just getting into stiltedly awkward territory, especially if it’s your birthday and you just want to enjoy yourself . I mean, do you know any of them?

All the husband know me and my husband. The one who I haven’t met we can meet at some point between now and my birthday. But at the same time it feels kind of like OTT…

informal drinks is better, I wouldn’t go to a dinner if I didn’t know anyone else personally but drinks I would!

Definitely was thinking of dinner at the steakhouse. There head to be food involved as one of them is not a massive drinker (although I could be overthinking this too)

I don't think you need to pick up the tab so long as its clear.

I would keep it super casual, go to a pub that does drinks and invite people to join you for drinks and say food is avaiable if you want.

This post led me immediately to remember a small afternoon party/gathering I had been invited to at someone’s house (I was a school mum friend of the host) and it was really awkward! It felt like the small talk you might make in a waiting room but for an extended period of time. I was up for going as I was keen to meet people but after that experience I wouldn’t want to go to similar again. It would have been a lot better if we were ‘doing’ something, some kind of activity.

Sounds a plan.

You do not need to pick up the tab ffs.

Just pick a nice local food pub and ask if they fancy coming out for lunch. Invite partners or don’t. It’s really not that deep.

Are they all fairly chatty people? If so, it’ll be fine. If they’re on the quieter side, it might be awkward.

I’ll come though! 😅

Have a lovely time whatever you decide. 🥳

I actually thought of a mixology masterclass but due to numbers it’s quite expensive, so not really feasible

I'd do something casual too, ideally with an activity, so that there's always a topic of conversation. Maybe something like paint and sip?

I couldn’t go to a party like this if I didn’t know the others going.

They’re a mixed bunch! You have the very opinionated bohemian, the ex CEO, the workaholic one, and a blokey bloke.

the ladies, one is a free spirit, one is a fairly open minded SAHM, a high flyer consultant, and a very “by the book” civil servant.

This was a bit of a situation for my hen do and it turned out fine.

Just do a pub lunch; partners if people wish.

How sad that a pp found drinks at someome's home difficult. Was there nobody who could chat away and get people talking about themselves.

I've done exactly this in the past OP. Around 4 friends who didn't know each other, my DH, they could bring their partners had dinner in a restaurant and it was nice. Some people feel more comfortable bringing their DHs so they're not out with loads of people they don't know but my DH would generally say no if he doesn't know the others if he was being asked to attend my friend's party I mean.