Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

Anyone applying any gels for medical purposes has a duty of care to these are applied safely, well.absorbed and covered if required to ensure no risk of transference to others.

This is the case when women are prescribed oestrogen gel for HRT and anyone is using/ prescribed ibuprofen/diclofenac gel for pain.

Why would trans people be so negligent to put others at risk by not following the clear guidance they have been given for safe application?

Why aren't you equally worried that women in their 40s or 50s might be in menopause and using oestrogen gel and this might transfer and cause harm to the kids?

Have you also checked the SM of other members of staff? Some might be Christians and sharing their weekly church visits and celebrations of easter services, or Sikh and sharing their celebrating of divali, or Muslim and their commitment to Ramadan and their Eid celebrations. Are you equally worried these members of staff will be trying to indoctrinate your children in the religious beliefs they hold proudly and unashamedly?
No because it wouldn't be professional to do so, but they are entitled to hold this beliefs in their private life!

Why do you think it would be any different for trans staff members? Gender identity is one facet of an individuals identity, and trans people are as multi faceted as the next person!

This.
Plus how bloody confusing for a little one.

Best avoid panto!

All nursery staff go through the same DBS checks regardless of gender or gender identity. The discomfort you express isn't really about safeguarding procedures — it's about the presence of a trans person itself.

So I find the framing of this question a little disingenuous, and perhaps rather a way for you to get lots of back pats from a community known for its transphobic (ahem “Gender Critical”) content?

No-one should be aroused or wearing any clothing they feel aroused in - whether working with children or in any job!

Where on earth do you get the idea that trans women who embrace their gender identity and find it sexy to wear womens clothes must therefore be permanently aroused by the wearing of feminine clothes?! That's quite a leap!

I am a woman and I feel aroused wearing certain clothing - does that mean i am risk to children? The key point being AT appropriate times/situations!

Why do you think trans women are simply perverted men who cant contain themselves and their fetishes?! Rather than just humans who know when its appropriate to be aroused and when its not!

People used to think this sort of nonsense about gay men you know?! Do you still think that about gay men?

And believe it or not, we have absolutely no idea whether someone might be aroused by what they are wearing in every day scenarios, unless the act inappropriately!!!
This is the key here! Actual behaviours not catastrophising perceptions!

It's like the nonsense that women wearing short skirts must be nymphos. Do you realise how far fetched you are sounding?

My question is how many were actually identified as trans women at point of committing their crime versus identifying as when convicted/imprisoned.

I think you'll find a significant difference.

Ive answered about testosterone gel on another post.

Ideas and beliefs alone do not cause harm!
Children are exposed to all sorts of ideas and beliefs of others around us. It is our job as parents to support them to develop critical thinking and empathy so they can learn about themselves and others, to understand what it is they like and feel and believe in.

Just because a teacher or friend has a different belief, or does something thats right for them, that doesnt mean our child will automatically want to do it too!

@Endoadnowarrior you are honestly delusional.

Imagine being happy to throw the most vulnerable in our society under a bus and statistically speaking, put them in unnecessary, avoidable potential harm.

If you want to put your child in with grown adults that like to play pretend then go for it, but don't expect the rest of the sane population to play along with you.

I seriously hope that you are not a woman.

I wouldn’t give that nursery my business. Wouldn’t want that harmful ideology around my children! I’d never have a male babysitter either. I know the differences between the sexes and I know the lunatic ideologies going around. You have a duty to assess for yourself what is right, and to act with conviction. Don’t hold back - there will always be cowardly critics.

I would pull my children out at the earliest opportunity. I wouldn't want anyoneentally unstable looking after them

I am obviously a woman, if you cared to look at my username.

Wowsers, you really don't understand how stats work do you? I sincerely hope you are arent involved in anything to do with finance or numbers! :-)

You are suggesting that we preclude ALL transgender people from working with children simply because they are trans? Regardless of any screening or safeguarding measures that actually keep them safe from harm.

Of the individuals found guilty of sexual offenses against children in 23/24, around 98.8% (7166) were male and 1.2% (83) were female.
https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2025/03/Child-sexual-abuse-in-2023-24-Trends-in-official-data.pdf

In 2024, only 295 prisoners in the whole of the UK prisoner population identified as transgender.

Even if ALL of them were biologically male and convicted of child sexual offences (and they aren't and weren't) that still represents only 4% of ALL individuals found guilty of sexual offences against children.

In reality it's more like 1.5% of all those convicted of a sexual offence against children, who identify as trans women.

So statistically speaking the prevalence of a trans women found guilty of committing sexual offences against a child was only slightly higher than biological women (1.2%).

Furthermore the majority of these transgender prisoners were male at the point of committing the crime/prosecution and have only transitioned to trans women at conviction/during imprisonment. They would NOT have been perceived as women by their victims. So excluding trans women from working with children isn't going to help because they aren't identifiable as trans women when they commit the crime! We'd need to exclude all men too, and posters have already agreed that only biological women taking these roles is nonsense. I mean where would we stop? No male pediatricians? No male gynaecologists? No male teachers?

Convicted individuals will NEVER be able to work with children or vulnerable adults on release as sexual offences are never "spent" and will always be disclosed on DBS checks.

Given that the whole transgender population of the UK in 2021 census was reported to be only 0.54% of the population, the number of transgender prisoners actually convicted of any sexual offence represents only 0.0002% of the entire population, compared to 0.0114% of men, it really is important to put the perceived risk into perspective.

Whilst any sexual offence against children (or indeed anyone) is one too many, the evidence shows that the real risk of sexual abuse to children isn't from trans women.

Awful people of all genders and backgrounds are capable of doing awful things, and the "sensational ones" committed by "outsiders" e.g. trans women,.ethnic minorities/non British men always make the headlines, by and large its white British men who are the perpetrators of sexual offences against children in the UK.

Surely as women, after years of oppression, we should be joining forces with the marginalised and oppressed trans community to stop all sexual violence and abuse against all women and children,.from anyone, not "punching down" on trans women in a misguided attempt to keep ourselves and our children safe from what by and large is predatory men.

Because predatory men are STILL overwhelmingly the men we have always recognised them to be - they really aren't masquerading as trans women to commit these crimes, they dont need to.

Because whilst we are so busy trying to avoid a potential rogue zebra in the stampede, we are missing the very obvious danger that is the herds of horses bearing down on us.

We must not lose sight that 1000s of children every year are sexually abused in their own homes by male family members and friends, and so many more offences are never reported let alone convictions secured. Come on people, use your critical thinking.

You don't have to agree with others ideology or self belief to recognise the real dangers.

I do t think trans people are marginalised or vulnerable in the slightest. The chance of my child being assaulted wouldn’t concern me as the chances are very slim indeed, staff are all monitored and DBS checked etc. my kid’s nursery have male staff and I’m cool with that.

What I’m not cool with is anyone telling my kids that a man can become a woman and vice versa. It’s a simple fact that they cannot. You cannot change your biology. People making kids think they can are doing immeasurable harm. Immeasurable. Think of the boys kicked out of guides and brownies for the quite reasonable reason that they are male and so mare not allowed to be there. Their upset lies in the hands of those who filled their heads with the false notion that they can change sex, when it’s impossible.

I also don’t want my children thinking gender is a thing, when it’s not. My son can wear dresses, my daughter can play football and climb trees. My son is a boy and my daughter is a girl and nothing will ever change that. I never want reductive stereotypes telling my children what they ‘should’ be. That’s real progressive thinking.

Personally I would send my children to another nursery because the trans community is big on proselytising.

The thing that “never happens” actually happens quite a lot when you start looking into it.

Can you explain why we as women should be joining forces with TW to fight abuse of women? Because any abuse of TW by men is an entirely different thing. It is male on male violence. Which while serious and worthy of attention and something we may wish as individuals to fight, as part of a personal commitment to social justice, is not the same as male on female violence/oppression, so not really within the remit of feminism.
I understand intersectionality in feminism. However the groups that we should consider the varying needs of and fight the compound disadvantage of have something in common. They are all women, so despite our differences, we can unite to fight the oppression of our sex.
When you seek to include a subset of men in feminism and frame it as working together against the abuse of women, you overlook that this is a one sided arrangement.
TW benefit by sheltering in our spaces, piggy backing on to the protections from men we have won for ourselves. However there is no reciprocality, because their inclusion does not make us safer or stronger. The reverse as it opens the door to the very group we seek to protect ourselves from.
So your suggested teaming in reality is not a team at all. Its an oppressed group being asked to make itself less safe by giving up the protection it has won, and divert it's attention from its own cause to support a conflicting one.
I suspect the reason you think otherwise is that to you TWAW? Yet you must know this is not a universal view amongst women. And for those of us who don't believe it, there is no 'surely' about it.

panto is so old fashioned and cringe. Honestly don’t know why people still go

The only people who are vulnerable in this scenario are the children.

Safeguarding wise the transman is less of a risk but yes I would be worried about the cultural messaging.

Do you understand ‘per capita’ at all @Endoadnowarrior?

the stats are that per capita - so if you take one transwoman and you take one man at random - the transwoman is more likely to commit sexual assault.

your Point seems to be based on the fact that more men overall commit sexual assault that transwomen. Of course they do, there’s more of them. You stat would only be relevant if you’re in a room full of men, and you don’t know if there’s any tw or not.

but that stat isn’t relevant in this situation. In the ops situation, she knows a transwoman will come in contact with her child (if they switch nurseries with oh the franchise). And so the stat that is relevant here is the per capita stat, not the overall population stat.

The other problem is relying on the nursery’s procedures and dbs checks. DBS checks only reveal convictions so while they are a valuable safeguarding tool they do not guarantee that any individual is not a risk. Because of this there are other safeguarding procedures but they do apply differently to men and women because the risk profile is different. Men who dress as women should be treated as the same as other men but they frequently aren’t because of trans ideology that claims they are women - see Girl guides.
a business that promotes and celebrates its trans staff is unlikely to hold them to the same standards as other staff and is unlikely to tell them off for promoting their beliefs.
Safeguarding demands a high level of skepticism and mistrust because it is how we keep the most vulnerable in our society (in this case small children) safe.

Also DBS checks are carried out on the name provided, it is up to the applicant to disclose any previous names.

I think Endo firstly is that you’re username says nothing about your sex - it makes you no more a woman than wearing a dress does.

Whilst we can focus on sexual assault risk given the stats which overwhelmingly demonstrate increased risk, the primary issue is one of belief systems.

You started by saying live and let live, but ignore the requirement for you to submit language, sexed based boundaries and protections in order for TW to apparently ‘live’. I ask you why Men aren’t under pressure to be more accepting TW into their spaces. Why are women the ones who have to make sacrifices for this group of men?

becauses it’s not about their safety - it’s about their validation. One could argue the reason this trans identified male is working in a nursery is because stereotypically it’s ‘woman's work’ and it makes him feel valid.

Whilst painfully ironic that a trans identified young woman has a longing to work with children whilst simultaneously destroying her own fertility at an age she likely cannot understand the true impact of this.

These belief systems have far reaching consequences because, the psychological situation of the individual is not the same so how can society respond to that consistently?

Anyway. The fact remains whilst employers such as nurseries should not discriminate against employing someone because of their ‘transition’ status, Parents can, and should, in order to ensure their children are raised according to their values, morals and safeguarding concerns.

Humans cannot change sex. It is wrong to teach children that they could be born in the wrong body. Until the care pathways change from affirmation to self - acceptance - and feminine men live freely and masculine women live freely -we all have the right to make decisions around who is involved in the care and education of our children, and to challenge it, without prejudice.

In case no one has told you this, trans woman ARE MEN.

There you go, fixed your stats and 'facts' for you 🤣

Like pp have mentioned, your statistics are based on the whole population. The risk is much much higher in the nursery population.

Can you share with me the statistics on male nursery workers (trans included, because they are also men) that have committed rapes and/or sexual assaults on children compared to female nursery workers? That's only the ones that have been caught and prosecuted, as I have no doubt there are many more out there yet to come to light. I'll wait.

Trans issues aside, there's a very good reason why people are suspicious of any man who wants to work in a nursery with children.

If you don't share those suspicious, you're biological protection signals are out of whack. You probably should consider spending more time with real woman instead of the pretend one's. The real womalen will help you get that natural instinct back.

Endo - endometriosis
Adno - adnomyosis
Warrior - a person who fights hard against an issue/for a cause. In this context used tp refer to the fact I live with both of these aforementioned conditions.

BOTH endo and adno are chronic conditions related to the over growth of uterine tissue, and are exclusively experienced by people who have/or have previously had a uterus.

Its interesting that you failed to identify me as a biological woman from my username that explicitly references I have these common conditions that affect at least 190 million women and girls worldwide.