AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

[Pistachioo]

I know I am being love bombed. Relentless texting, false promises, the L word so soon. I want out of this relationship but what is the best way to escape this sort of person?

Yanbu in wanting to escape this person.

Yabu in not knowing how to dump someone.

"You're completely OTT. I am NOT interested in seeing you again.
Please stop contacting me now."

Depends on the circumstances I guess. How long have you been dating? Don't live together presumably?

‘I’m afraid this isn’t working for me. All the best’ and block. Job done.

All this future faking is too insincere, i don't want to see you anymore.

I would just say that I'm afraid its not really working for me and that I wish him all the best

Maybe say a bit more depending on how long you've been together

I wouldn't give him the opportunity to hide his red flags by saying why!

And I wouldn't block him unless it becomes necessary, either

Are you concerned for your safety if you end the relationship?

“It was really nice to meet you, but I don’t think we’re compatible and you’re not what I am looking for. I wish you all the best and hope you find your person”

Then block

I think I am

Can you explain why?

I wouldn’t tell them that you’ve realised they love bombing you, partly because they’ll adjust their behaviour for the next date and she won’t see it coming, but also because I think the sort of people who lovebomb are manipulative and you’d be giving them a basis for negotiation.

Saying that the relationship is making you unhappy and you don’t reciprocate their feelings isn’t something that they can argue with or promise to change. Don’t go into any lengthy explanation. Don’t promise a friendship. Just say that you’re not willing to fake something you don’t feel and that’s all there is to it.

This must feel really frightening. Have you got someone you trust to talk to in real life about this?

It may be worth getting advice and support in navigating the break up.

Because I have tried to do it the nice way previously, he turns up at my house, contacts my parents, and calls me on numerous other numbers. I don’t think I can deal with that.

Nobody can really help you until you provide some more information.

How long have you been dating this person?

Have they been controlling/coercive/abusive?

Can you explain why you fear for your safety?

Can you give some examples of their responses when you've previously told them to ease off?

Have you tried to end the relationship at all?

I mean this is more than love bombing really, isn’t it OP? More like harassment.

Then you need to contact women's aid for advice and also call the police when he shows up at your door. Your parents need to make sure they block his number so he is not able to contact them and not pick up the call from unknown numbers.

Contact Women's Aid. This is what they do; they will absolutely help you.

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/i-want-to-leave-my-relationship-safely/

Over the phone, in that case. Get his stuff out of your home and get a friend to drop it all off. Change your locks, vary your routine. Change your passwords and up your security settings. Do not hesitate to involve the police.

No wonder you're so concerned. This could be seen as stalking.

Firstly, this is not your fault!

Take a look here for some help:

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

I think I'd contact services like Womens aid or whatever is available in your area for support. They can help with a safety plan. There's something called Claire's Law where you can request info to see if they've been convicted of a Domestic Abuse offence etc. But Womens Aid can talk you through all that. Wishing you all the best.

If he is stalking you then call the police. But you need to make it clear in no uncertain terms the relationship is over and you want no more contact of any form. Don't give mixed signals.

You need to send him a message that is very clear and cold, saying something like 'Our relationship is over. I do not want to hear from you again, and you are not to contact my parents or anyone else close to me either. If you ever contact me, or try to reach me through other people, I will consider that harassment and I will report you to the police.'

Then, if he ignores your wishes and continues to contact you, you need to speak to the police and explain what's happening.

You also need to make a note / take screenshots of every attempt he makes to contact you and what he says. Do not reply to him when he messages you.

This isn't 'love bombing'. It's stalking and harassment.

All of this. Document everything.

This’ll do nicely, on repeat.
ETA Then escalate per PPs.

'Dear loser,
welcome to Dumpville.
Population - you.'