AIBU to feel furious after my father ruined my new home?

[Yousernane]

To be furious? and hate all men and not want another man in my house ever!!!
i need sound advice because i know im not thinking straight at the minute & my anxiety is through the roof.

I am 4 months out of a 20 year relationship with an abusive emotionally dangerous narcissistic. Spent the last 4 months in with family then emergency accommodation (which was disgusting) out of area with small children.
I have now recently moved into my first home
With nothing but clothes & a few toys. I have spent my last bit of savings on household items, and kindly been gifted some items to make my home a home.
I invited my father to come and visit, i bought and cooked lunch, he had a drink so i offered him to stay over and he has wet himself and then slept on my brand new sofa, all my new throws have had to be binned, he blamed the dog. My rug has had to be thrown out and my babies toy box.
i beleved it was the dog until after i took him home where i could smeall urine, all
my soft furnishings now smell
my car passenger seat too.
to top if off i have found stains on my walls/ ceiling it looks like coke or coffee.

am i overreacting? To be upset/ angry
do i say something or brush it off as an accident?

am i being unreasonable to say i hate men and dont want another man in my house

Not unreasonable at all, but as others have said items might not need to have been thrown out. However, the bigger issue is what's going on with your Dad. You've not mentioned his age, but this isn't normal behaviour and he's clearly not acknowledging the problem. Have you previously been aware of any issue with alcohol and did express your concern after this episode or just annoyance? Don't blame you at all if it was the latter, I'd be annoyed too. My ex used to urinate on the sofa but that was in the latter stages of severe alcoholism.

Sorry this has happened. No you are right to be angry. I do not blame you for never wanting a man in your home.

How unforgivable and disgusting

You could always use a laundrette, if you don't wish to sully your new machine.

What your dad did was disgusting and unforgivable, but washing machines can cope with urine on fabrics. The machine doesn't become contaminated! The detergent pulls out every kind of yucky stuff from the fabric and breaks it down, and the three rinses remove it all from the machine.
If something is really badly soiled, a prewash will deal with it.

There have been many, many instances of perfectly healthy men urinating all over the place simply because (like the OP's dad) they were drunk. Or just lazy filthy pigs.

A male friend told me that in a male dorm in a youth hostel, men from a group were pissing on the floor in the corner instead of getting up and going to the bathroom. The room was stinking in the morning. I've heard similar from cleaners in student halls of residence. Lifts in blocks of flats and student halls stink of urine every Monday morning.

A man I used to work with was devastated when his girlfriend broke up with him. One reason she did, was that he repeatedly came home drunk and pissed on the carpet, the sofa and one night, on the TV. He understood that what he did was wrong, but not quite how disgusting it was, and seemed to think his antics were actually quite amusing.

@FictionalCharacter

Also territory marking - another reason why I can understand the OP not wanting to deal with the stuff that was tainted. (Not saying that that is what her father did, but I can understand why it would affect her.)

I worked in a school. There were issues with the boys deliberately peeing up walls.

I find sprinkling bicarbonate of soda on urine for a few hours, then hoovering it up, makes the smell go away. This will be great for your car seat and sofa. I've used it many a time when kids have an unexpected accident when the mattress protector isn't on. I usually do it when it's wet so unsure if it would be best to spray it wet again first.

Not at all, plenty are condemning her father but with caution, possibly he has a serious medical issue. But she does deserve criticism for chucking out items that can be easily washed. And you can wash/disinfect washing machines afterward if worried about the pee somehow contaminating it. Lord, this is her FATHER not some random stranger off the street.

I’d be really annoyed too but you’re a complete idiot to throw things out that could just be washed. A washing machine is literally there to clean things.

I think a clean toyboy is the last thing she needs currently...

I am not going to say you are entirely unreasonable nor reasonable because there are a couple of things at play here , you wet yourself as a child and your parents looked after you , one can argue you were a child but I am guessing your father might have health conditions and alcohol certainly aggravated them , you need to be kind as that is what you expect from your parents