Acquitence went to kiss toddler

[sarahmaguire]

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

Bloody hell, my family are Southern Med and when visiting the island my babies and toddlers must have been kissed by every resident on the island whether we knew them or not. My children are now healthy happy sociable adults and the only memories they have of their childhood visits to the island are happy ones. Maybe you are a little stressed right now ?

Only in Laos.

Why are you repeatedly lying. She didn’t kiss them. Did she?

You "don't teach them that care givers kiss" - what does this even mean? Are you saying you don't kiss your child? I suppose that could explain the bizarre overreaction.

OP, your child, your choice. You don't have to like it.

But, if you didn't say anything, YABU to seethe with resentment and anger that someone has done something you didn't like.

She was clearly trying to be helpful and the behaviour you describe sounds well within the bounds of normal.

I find it really sad how people complain there is no community or 'village' any more, then go ballistic when anyone interacts with their kids.

Are you saying you were seriously worried that this woman did this because she's a pedophile? If so, you should really look up the stats on how vanishingly rare this is. Because you do not have reason to fear other women to this extent and you are going to cause yourself a great deal of unecessary concern if you go on believing that a woman engaging with your baby is at all likely to be 'predatory'.

🤣

This is why I gave up helping or lending a hand to anyone.

I dont babysit I wont even hold a baby just incase im doing it wrong.
I have 2 kids of my own now grown up and I was bloody happy sometimes for someone to step in.

I'm a bloke who is a full time parent every day. My wife works. I have women stepping in on my parenting all day, everyday. They immediately assume I'm struggling even in the most mundane every day situations and cross boundaries I'd prefer they didn't. It honestly irritates the hell out of me, but I also think it comes from a good place ultimately, and offer a gracious thank you for the help. I'm in Italy where a man taking on this role is like rocking horse shit, and feels culturally threatening on some level. You've got to have good humour about it though, or you'll spend your whole parenting experience being over protective and annoyed.

Not sure why you posted..? you clearly think she was a wired pedo person as opposed to trying to help and won't be told otherwise..

I read posts like this and despair. An act of kindness is rejected. Sad for the mother and sad for the toddler, who is going to grow up with low levels of trust in others. In OP's shoes, I would have looked at what was happening and been pleased go have the help. I can see only one possible downside: the toddler not wanting the interaction. In that case, any reasonable parent would think the acquaintance znd take the child back.

I wouldn't give up if I were you.

Outside of Mumsnet, most mothers are fairly normal women and wouldn't dream of overreacting like the OP has.

This. I think @sarahmaguire has a very difficult future ahead if she is going to refuse all attempts at help.

Respectfully, think about what you’re modelling for your child. Automatic suspicion and hostility, followed by angry internet posts in which you are aggressive to anyone who doesn’t agree with you, are not a proportionate response to an acquaintance trying to help distract your tantrumming toddler as you get your stuff together to leave an event.

But this person was an acquaintance of yours? Why are you hanging out with people you think are predators?

Also.. you don't teach your kids that caregivers are affectionate... AND IT SHOWS!

Blimey OP you been on the sherry?

Yes. I agree with you OP. Laos is a long way. I'd be a bit irritated too.

A tiger with anger issues!
Or a bear!
Just imagine!

True.

Love posts like this. You ask if you are unreasonable. 90% say yes and you continue to argue that the other party was unreasonable 🙄

I’ve had this in Greece and Turkey , little one loved it & we got to eat our dinner in peace , win win !

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

There be dragons.

Laos sounds dangerous 😂

I said upthread I dont believe this thread is real. However I deduced from it the the OP is very immature, she name calls dreadful things and is incapable of any logical thinking.

I think though you need to get some help. You come across here as very silly, also some of the things you said could cause serious upset for the woman you are speaking about. You will also find people who avoid you like the plague. If this is not made up you still need help.