Acquitence went to kiss toddler

[sarahmaguire]

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

She didn’t. But as it’s clear from all of her posts on the thread, her attitude to other people is aggressive and suspicious out of all proportion to someone she knows picking up her tantrumming child while she gets sorted. It’s plain from her original post that she felt her parenting was being implicitly criticised. When responses didn’t agree with her, she pivoted to ‘women can be predatory’ and ‘my child was out of sight’. She would start a fight in an empty room.

She was watching her child whilst she set up the push chair. The acquaintance took the child out of her sight when she sat her on her lap.

OP had to face a pile on here and people making 😂😂😂 faces at her typo for ‘lap’. Some of the posts to her have been deleted, they were so nasty.

When she defends herself, she’s called aggressive. Go figure.

She’s not manic, she was responding to a pile on. A completely unnecessary one.

Her original post was manic... thats not responding to anything.

Completely unnecessary... yet the majority of people disagree with your view. You are the only person adamant on backing her crazy ways

Which bit of the original post was manic? Quote even line that was manic.

*quote even one line that was manic.

It couldn’t have been out of sight as op provided a very detailed description of exactly what the acquaintance was doing. The acquaintance couldn’t have subsequently moved out of sight with the child as he was sat on her lap.

Hopefully op is feeling a bit better this morning and will have a think about why she reacted like that. She was obviously unsure about her reaction and wanted to get other views because she came to ask Mumsnet if she was being unreasonable. The answer to that was yes but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as adults and (sometimes slightly overwhelmed) parents we should be able to take on board views that don’t agree with us.

You appear to be taking the ‘devils advocate’ role here which is a helpful device, in this case I think it just has underlined that the majority view is correct and she can use that information however she wishes.

Totally OTT, non event and she also didnt kiss the child, you said she was just pretending. Why post on here as you clearly don't think you're unreasonable when everyone else pretty much has said you are. You are just replying aggressively asking questions back to posterd who disagree.

I am not sure she did come here for advice/opinions. She is arguing back to everyone 🙅‍♀️

OP says she took her out of sight, we should believe her. You weren’t there and can’t decide what happened.

The majority view seems to be let’s have a gleeful pile on on a distressed wiman, which I can’t support.

How is it a pile on and how do you discern how PPs are feeling?

This is how this sort of forum works. OP asked a question. A number of people responded independently with their thoughts. Those thoughts all happened to think that a pretty clearcut answer to OPs question was AIBU.

There are few opposing voices because few would agree that her reaction was reasonable so you feel sorry for her and step in. And that is fine but your posts haven’t changed anyone’s mind.

Which begs the question - do you genuinely believe that her reaction was entirely reasonable or do you just hate seeing what you call a ‘pile on’ and have to defend, regardless of the point?

And I’m not sure that I believe that the acquaintance physically took the child away from sight of the mum as that would have been a far more major part of the OP. OP also implied other things that are clearly not the case.

No. The OP in her first post very clearly describes what the acquaintance was doing. It reads very much that she could always see her son, he wasn't taken out of the room.

The woman was trying to help the OP - it will have been easier to sort the pushchair without simultaneously wrangling a toddler, but somehow the acquaintance has upset the OP.

Really? There’s no mention in the original post of the child being taken out of her sight. And how does she know the acquaintance was doing the mock kissing of the child on her lap (as she says she was) if she couldn't see them?

If someone picked up my child unasked and took them out of my sight I’d immediately follow them and take the child back. Wouldn't you?

How is it a "pile-on"? It’s just a large majority of independent commenters who happen to have the same view. Do you see every case in AIBU where the majority view is yes, YABU, as a "pile-on"?