Acquitence went to kiss toddler

[sarahmaguire]

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

@sarahmaguire "then put him on her lap (imagine if it was a man), out of sight and away from you"

But it wasn't either of those things. She wasn't a man, she was another mum with a similar aged child. And my understanding is that it all happened under your nose. You also describe her as an acquaintance, so she wasn't a total stranger. Maybe she had some maleficent intention but nothing you've written would indicate that.

I would have done the same if i saw a crying child and you stressed , id think i was helping snd distracting the toddler

in social situations with kids i know i would not think it necessary to ask to engage with someone else's child

is their a particular reason you are over protective?

I wasnt stressed?

I did however get stressed when my toddler was removed from my sight, put on an adults lap and they went in to kiss them..

So what if it was a man ? You have male friends who engage with your kids surely ?

OP, you're clearly very fixed in your view that this person was nuts and inappropriate. With the info you're sharing that doesn't sound to be the case. There's no point in fighting with randoms on this forum about it, just move on with your day.

But know you could end up very isolated if you're this suspicious of others' intentions.

Also how us someone picking up your child undermining your parenting skills or style ?

how ?

Women can be predatory and I don't teach them that care givers kiss

This will be due to the weird rule you've made up in your head, that we 'must not touch other people's children without permission' 🙄

OP, why do you keep saying now that the child was "removed from your sight" and similar things, when you said nothing like that in your original post?

Be clear: did the acquaintance take the child away somewhere, where you couldn’t see them, or not?

I would be terrified if my kids were taken to Laos.

But yours weren’t.

sorry, couldn’t resist. But at least that typo made you sound slightly less ridiculous.

Not the point of the thread but the comments about being taken to Laos are fabulous 🤣🤣

OP it’s a none event, she was being nice and you’ve got a serious case of Offendiscitis.

Op - aibu?

Everyone else - yabu

Op - I'm not. I'm not

This isnt an echo chamber Op. And yes yabu

I think you may have missed something in your original post that is confusing people. If the lady took your child out of your sight, how did you know she sat him on her lap and mock kissed him?

I think that maybe you are an anxious first time mum, please try and see it that, although it wasn't the help you wanted, this lady, with a same aged child as your own, was trying to help you by distracting them. Probably by doing something that her own child would find distracting. Maybe you wouldn't make kissy noises near a chilld, but she didn't actually kiss your child, and was trying to do a nice thing. Next time, accept the act was done in good faith and just say "Thanks, I've got him" in a nice voice with a grateful smile.

I feel reactions like this, angry instead of grateful at a kind act, is why people don't automatically step in to help anymore. People look for offence where none was intended.

So you could see your child all the time?

But the child was out of your sight.

It can't be both OP.

Who don't you teach that caregivers kiss?

I'm completely lost.

If that had happened to me, it would be really annoying. She sounds like a sort of person who’s like the perfect mum and can solve all problems even when the problem doesn’t exist. People like that make me sick but that’s just me.

Are you always so insufferable OP?

You said “ flustered”. Which is another word for stressed

People who help out make you sick? Goodness me, you sound very delicate.

SHE DIDN'T KISS YOUR CHILD!!

Also she didn’t actually kiss your toddler but if she had would it have been so terrible ?

8 pages of people saying you are over reacting op. Are you prepared to even consider the fact that you might be?

OP do you suffer from anxiety?

You watched as a stranger took your child so far away that you couldn’t see them anymore?

I don’t know how people like you manage to get through the day without having a nervous breakdown.

You sound like a complete snowflake.