AIBU to feel miffed that SIL refused Easter eggs?!

[ShabbyChic999]

In the scheme of things this is not a major problem but I'm curious to know what you ladies think.....!!!
I got lovely unicorn Thorntons eggs for DH little nieces but at the last minute my in laws went away for Easter so we hadn't dropped the eggs to them. We tried to make an arrangement to drop over since they got back but when i mentioned we had eggs for the girls my SIL said to keep them ourselves and that they had enough chocolate. Again I know it's not a major deal, I just felt a bit flat as was excited to give them and see their faces. I know kids have all eaten too much chocolate at this stage but I just think now they'll think we didn't get them any egg! Curious to know if you think she's being too fussy or has a point?

I wouldn’t treat my family like that if the relationship was good.

Yes the thing is they have no other family here as she is not from this country and we are only aunt/Uncle on BIL side and grandparents are deceased.

Tbh I’d stop now she’s said that. Save your money and spend on yourself /your kids/ your family. I stopped all extended family presents on my family and tbh I don’t miss the headache of trying arrange dropping them off, worrying about what to buy etc. and all for stuff I never got a thank you for anyway!

if you want to carry on acknowledging Easter though and don’t feel you can stop, I don’t know how young the kids are but T-shirts in next, Sainsbury’s etc are a fiver…or a book…or each child gets a fiver in the card if you can afford that for each one.

I definitely wouldn't want more chocolate for my kids now.
You want to see the look on their faces but that's just about your pleasure not what's good for the kids.

You should be able to be honest with family!

Totally rude.

I think it’s rude. But I am wondering is she annoyed that you didn’t get them to the kids before Easter? (Not saying she’s justified if that’s what it is)

My DH, ALWAYS. I don't like it when it's been in the fridge. Only ever put it in really, if it's 30 degrees C or more outside. But that's just common sense. 😄

I take it out and leave it for 5 minutes and it's like it hasn't been in the fridge (when it's a hot day.)

She was rude.

Yeah that’s super rude. Maybe she thought you hadn’t spent much so it wouldn’t matter all that much and you could just eat it or something? I’d probably have replied to explain you bought pricier ones and wanted them to have them.

Definitely rude. But I do get fed up with all the chocolate my 5 and 1 year old get given.

i Do think buying gifts/chocolate for extended family is a waste though. I never do it

‘My SIL keeps going on and on about coming round with easter eggs for my children. I don’t have the time to meet with her and the children had enough chocolate but she wants to see their faces light up.
^^
AIBU to tell her straight not to give it to them?’

So your DH's chocolate addiction is as a result of an abusive childhood. My point was everyone of our age group had restricted sweets/treats, if any. It didn't mean that we then had no self control. My eldest GC had a MPA, she has been desensitised, she is still not interested in chocolate etc because it's never been part of her diet. Likewise I know people from other countries who aren't interested in our sweet foods. Lack of exposure in childhood doesn't mean you can't control yourself in adulthood.

I didn't have restricted treats and sweets. Because I could have helped myself at any time, I hardly did. Similarly we had a tuck shop at school. Chatting in the queue which was inside was preferable to the hurly burly of the playground.

I don't think my DH's childhood was abusive, there was just significant meanness with money. Also, I don't call a Mars Bar once a week or fortnight a chocolate addiction. Admittedly MIL and FIL grew up poor but by the time they had DC they were very comfortably off.

I base my views on what I know and our DC weren't short on sweets and treats and haven't grown up grabby, greedy or selfish.

she's right those isn't she. People don't need Easter Eggs.

Sorry to be a viper but I can’t stand the attitude of people like you. It’s all about You. You want to see their little faces light up, you want them to think you’re the nice aunt. What about actually being a good person and not giving junk to children? it’s bad for their health, bad for their teeth, and entirely unnecessary. leave the kids alone and if you absolutely must get your ego kicks from doing things that are harmful to kids then seek therapy rather than complaining about the parents for trying to protect them.

rant over

(and yes i know im a buzz kill)

Then SIL should have messaged her brother a few weeks before saying not to get Easter eggs for her kids.

Waiting until OP has bought them is rude.

It's quite comical to see how so many of those arguing for the SIL not being rude and about how unhealthy Easter eggs are have ignored the fact she used to buy your children Easter eggs each year.

I do see her point as my dc have so much chocolate from everyone that even they are sick of the sight of it! However I think i would have graciously accepted it. Her reaction was rude.

Well I can see that side of the story too!!! To be honest, I started the thread saying it's not a massive deal but curious to know if people thought it was rude.....I do 100% agree with reducing the amount of junk children have.....but it's just been a tradition that we exchange eggs and I specifically didn't get Cadbury's as heard so much about palm oil and sugar. I did say I'd like them to know I thought of them but at the same time if she said "look they've had so much rubbish over Easter just give them to me directly and I'll save them for them" that would be fine - even if she secretly ate them herself!!! I always think that telling people to take away the gift you bought them is a bit rude. I remember calling to a friend once and I brought a cake (I'm not always pushing sweet things I promise!!) and she sent me away with the cake!! I felt so bad. I do now try and bring a plant or flowers instead when calling to friends/relatives. Next year for the nieces I'll get something non choc for sure!!!!

how do you know the books you buy will be the ones they want. Just drop all the presents buying

Could she just not have time/inclination to see you at the moment? It may not be about the chocolate itself.

Was the cake homemade?

When you visit people, do they all really like plants and flowers or do you see it as a ‘safe’ gift?

Lots of parents get very uppity about controlling their kids chocolate intake under all circumstances.

i can confirm that a load of chocolate at Easter, Christmas etc does kids no harm as long as it doesn’t make up the majority of their diet year round. My DDs are perfectly normal weight, healthy young adults who don’t have issues with their teeth. But it’s the thing now to be over the top about it. She was rude. At Christmas buy them massive chocolate bars wrapped up so that SIL can’t see what it is until it’s opened!

Do you not think it might be that she didn’t want to meet up with the OP?

And the Christmas idea is ridiculous - either the SIL has no say about what her kids eat or she has to take it off them.