AIBU to feel miffed that SIL refused Easter eggs?!

[ShabbyChic999]

In the scheme of things this is not a major problem but I'm curious to know what you ladies think.....!!!
I got lovely unicorn Thorntons eggs for DH little nieces but at the last minute my in laws went away for Easter so we hadn't dropped the eggs to them. We tried to make an arrangement to drop over since they got back but when i mentioned we had eggs for the girls my SIL said to keep them ourselves and that they had enough chocolate. Again I know it's not a major deal, I just felt a bit flat as was excited to give them and see their faces. I know kids have all eaten too much chocolate at this stage but I just think now they'll think we didn't get them any egg! Curious to know if you think she's being too fussy or has a point?

She was ungracious. I have a similar SIL, one who sent messagea through her mother "can you tell Roses that if she buys the dc clothes again, they must be pure cotton, the mug with dn's name on it is too heavy fir him to use, the picture of MIL and FIL - the glass broke in the post". Result, I stopped buying them anything.

Separately, if things like sweets and chocolate are banned the children never learn to self regulate. Ours had tons of eggs as lottlies - they loved them but they were a five minute wonder and the children were pretty meh about eating them --which meant there was a plentiful supply of chocolate for dh and me. Neither were they the children who grabbed a handful of boscuits when the plate was handed round or put out at a party.

DH and his SILs grew up with rationed treats. DH is 64, I still find Mars bar wrappers snaffled in his pockets.

Thats rude, she could have made a biscuit cake out of them and shared the cake with grandparents and ye.

Our kids only get eggs from us, that's more than enough. We pay attention to the chocolate they eat, so wouldn't want to give them most supermarkets eggs which are mostly made of sugar and don't actually contain much chocolate.

They had Cadburys from grandad last year that ended up in the bin (of course we didn't tell them), so glad no one gave anything this year.
I wouldn't mind the small eggs but the giant crap would be a pain to get rid off without upsetting anyone.

I’d let it go because at the end of the day, her kids, her decision….but she could have taken them gracefully and just kept them for the kids at a later date. They have good expiry dates. She could have eaten them herself, or even used them in baking with the kids. I think it’s rude of her not to accept them.
im sure we’ve all been given presents that aren’t very us, not our cup of tea, something you’d never use or buy….but we accept them graciously and with thanks. That’s just manners!!!

That is really rude of her. I'd take a step back.

Why are you throwing it in the bin. Why not just donate it at the supermarket so others can enjoy it, throwing it away is so wasteful.

Then SIL should have expressed her preference well before Easter.

Any parent will be aware that family members who love their child, will plan to get them an Easter egg. It's a cultural given. So if you don't want your kids to have them, you politely mention it on plenty of time. You don't rebuff a family member who's put time, money and love into a gift.

YANBU. Very rude. It's a chocolate egg, not a 50 pound tub of lard!

Probably because if you think Cadbury's is absolute junk you wouldn't inflict it on strangers either?

I think it's poor quality in comparison to old Cadbury's but just about ok.

Exactly. Throwing away anything someone has bought you is wasteful, and horribly disrespectful and rude. If I knew someone had done this to something I had bought- for them or their DC - they'd get fuck-all else from me again, ever.

Ok but does he secretly snaffle them because they were rationed when he was little, or were they rationed because he couldn't be trusted not to eat them all if they weren't hidden?
I realised early on that my son had no off switch when it came to chocolate.
My DH is the same.
ETA your sil was just rude though!

She didn't set a boundary. That's the whole problem. If she'd told OP that she didn't want the children to have Easter eggs in plenty of time that would have been a boundary. But she didn't. She just rebuffed a gift chosen with love, after she'd already allowed the kids some eggs. Just not OP 's.

That's quite a privilege position though, do you genuinely think the children and families in this country who are struggling with the cost of living crisis and having to use food banks would care?

Perhaps she did gently do that last year? And this is the only way to put her foot down.

YANBU. I think it's rude to refuse a gift, personally. Thank the person for their kindness and then regift if necessary. And she's being a bit precious about the chocolate, if she's that worried about recent chocolate consumption she could always save them and bring them out later in the year.

It's a cultural given.

I disagree, I think it's about individual family culture.

In our family it's normal to get an egg from your parents and another from your grandparents.

In my friend's family, every aunt and uncle and great aunts and uncles buy all the children eggs, ending up in oodles of the damned things.

A mutual friend's family buy one big fancy egg per child, but it's an expensive one, bought by grandparents only. (I very much wish I was a grandchild in that family, their eggs are incredible!)

@Roads - no, of course not. But if I was someone who felt strongly that cheap chocolate was filled with things that actively damage people's health and are addictive, I wouldn't pass some on to a food bank to inflict on some poor soul, I'd bin them.

(I don't believe that, but I have binned some dreadful UPF rather than donate them because I'm not contributing to fucking someone else's health up.)

I’m going against the grain I actually don’t think sil has been that rude.

The trouble is with all this chocolate it can become an absolute nightmare for parents. I’ve got one child where I can put the sweets/chocolate away for another day, but with my other child, I’d never hear the end of it if he knew there was chocolate in the house.

Sometimes at Christmas we’d end up with enough chocolate to last a year. In the end we said go
people, please no chocolate.

If your sil had accepted the eggs politely then no doubt you’d continue to buy each year. Perhaps you’d be better giving the children something else for Easter.

Why would you think that? After all, her kids have been eating the Easter eggs that other people have given them this year. She seems to have just decided that they've had enough now, so they don't need their auntie's.

Yabu perhaps the kids are getting fat from too much chocolate or the kids pester all day once they know its there.
All holidays in uk are about sweets and chocolate (incl birthdays).
But probably she should have said before so you didnt buy in first place

Agree. Daft comment saying 'Cadburys is crap, so no-one would want it anyway! So just bin it!' 🙄

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I'd say because things were rationed in a stingy household. His sisters are similar. They all talk about the curmudgeonliness. They had to share one selection box between three with their names written on their allocated bars.

I (and our DC) always knew there were sweets in the cupboard and there was no need to be greedy.

This is exactly how I feel! I’m very particular about what my kids have and I would rather people didn’t waste their money on things I’m just going to pass on. We also have the ‘no presents please, but if you must, we like books’. I find it really annoying having so much chocolate in the house and it’s not something I want my kids to have daily (all under 6).

I think it depends on whether you were told in advance they don’t want chocolate eggs for health reasons.
It’s perfectly acceptable not to want your kids to end up with diabetes and obesity but she should have communicated this in advance if she knew you were going all out with buying fancy ones.

But you said you were sad you wouldn’t get to see their faces when they got them, implying to wanted to give the eggs directly to the girls and therefore creating a situation where they want to eat more chocolate.

I can understand you feeling a bit put out by your SILs comment but she’s probably thinking ‘ffs Easter is well over and done with and I’m having to ration even more chocolate’.

Maybe next time buy a little Easter gift and make sure you drop it over before Easter not a week after. Or just don’t bother because kids don’t need endless gifts for Easter, Valentines etc

Ewww who keeps chocolate in a fridge?!