AIBU to feel miffed that SIL refused Easter eggs?!

[ShabbyChic999]

In the scheme of things this is not a major problem but I'm curious to know what you ladies think.....!!!
I got lovely unicorn Thorntons eggs for DH little nieces but at the last minute my in laws went away for Easter so we hadn't dropped the eggs to them. We tried to make an arrangement to drop over since they got back but when i mentioned we had eggs for the girls my SIL said to keep them ourselves and that they had enough chocolate. Again I know it's not a major deal, I just felt a bit flat as was excited to give them and see their faces. I know kids have all eaten too much chocolate at this stage but I just think now they'll think we didn't get them any egg! Curious to know if you think she's being too fussy or has a point?

Well technically refined sugar is just like a drug!

Eat it yourself and don’t bother making an effort for SIL anymore.

Lol
Tin foil hat brigade
Do you also believe that sitting is as bad as smoking

Well technically refined sugar is just like a drug!

No, 'technically' it isn't like a drug at all. You might describe it like that in a metaphorical sense, but it doesn't actually affect your body in the same way as a drug at all.

The amount of bollocks that's spoken about sugar on Mumsnet, with absolutely no science to back it up, is insane.

Enough chocolate! The absolute temerity. Who says such a thing

Never heard of a sugar high then?
Of course it is and anyone who thinks otherwise is in denial.

Well yes, but OP is causing the drama here. SIL has polietly said "no thanks" and it's OP who is all bent out of shape.

There is no evidence that there is any such thing as a ‘sugar high’

The sugar high thing was debunked long ago. Check the peer-reviewed research papers linked here. And there are more.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/search/research-news/8074/#:~:text=That's%20largely%20a%20myth%20%7C%20CNN,causes%20kids%20to%20act%20differently.

The 'sugar high' thing has been proved to be a myth in multiple studies. It's been very thoroughly debunked through rigorous scientific methods. It's very easy to look these studies up, but @saraclara has very helpfully provided info above if that helps.

So no, not 'in denial'. Just aware of the actual science.

Do you think she was making a point that you should have made more effort to gift the eggs well before Easter? I note you said they went away last minute.

When my kids were small both my sister and SIL told me my kids eggs were “here whenever you want to collect them”. That’s after years of me always gifting personalised Thorntons eggs to nieces and nephews and hand delivering them, always.

It’s rude! I don’t reallr give my two year old chocolate but he got loads. We said thank you and put it in our cupboard when we got home - more for me!

That is proper mental.

Can I give my nieces leeks next year do you think? So instead of thinking aunt they think cunt?

I can see why she did it. If it was a gift for an adult I'd think she should just have accepted it graciously and put it away. But if you are giving it to her kids she ends up having to be the "bad guy" taking it off them, or she has to let them have far too much chocolate. As a parent she probably doesn't relish that. She will already have put in boundaries at Easter and just as things settle down you're wanting to put her in the position of doing it again. Have some empathy for her and maybe ask, next time, if there is something she'd prefer you get your nieces.

What the children don't know won't hurt them. They absolutely won't know or care that aunty shabby didn't get them an egg.

I think she's being silly, but maybe she just doesn't have the space to put them away and doesn't want to deal with the constant whinging for chocolate!

Then she should have told her brother beforehand that she didn’t want Easter eggs.

As it is, she has shot herself in the foot, she’s in a country where she has very little family and she’s just rebuffed her sister in law over nothing.

It would serve her right if OP gives zero shits about her anymore.

Oh my god get a grip of yourself. It's chocolate eggs! She hasn't turned down an invitation to OP's wedding or something!

You'd really just cut someone off like that because they said no thanks to chocolate eggs, over a week after easter?!

It’s the utter lack of respect for OP. OP tried to reciprocate a simple gesture and the SIL has thrown it her face.

I wouldn’t make any effort again. No Christmas or birthday presents, OP should leave it all DH to DH.

My DC spread their Easter chocolate out for months. We're often finishing it up at Christmas. It started when they were little and got loads and loved the egg hunt. They never had more than a bit at Easter anyway, and they've always been happy to enjoy the Easter chocolate as an occasional weekend treat. Even now, as teenagers, they're happy to eke it out. You don't have to eat it all at once!

I wonder if OP's SIL just thought it was getting difficult finding a time to meet, and thought she was being helpful by taking off any pressure OP might feel to feel to deliver eggs. So said not to bother rather than make a trip just to hand over eggs.

Sorry I think that's ridiculous. It's not a lack of respect. It's just a mum thinking she doesn't want even more chocolate in the house for her little kids!

I mean you do you of course, but I find the attitude that effort for your brother, his partner and their children is so contingent on the acceptance of a gift just utterly bizarre.

Effort needs to be acknowledged otherwise the giver feels taken for granted.

Why would OP bother making any gestures to SIL again? And what’s wrong with leaving DH to manage his own sister in future?

Nothing wrong with that. That's the only part of your post that's reasonable.

I suppose I just assumed that as OP seemingly has a fairly normal relationship with them, that SIL said "thanks I appreciate it, but keep them for yourself the girls have had loads already". Or similar. And like her, I might feel a bit miffed as I'd got the "nice" eggs but that's it.

The point is that the SIL and OP/DH have a tradition of exchanging eggs and the SIL used to give eggs herself

If SIL forgot to say a few weeks ago that she didn’t want her kids to have chocolate, that’s fine, but she should have accepted the eggs. Telling OP to keep them was rude.

I disagree. And will be disengaging now.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Thank God.