AIBU to feel miffed that SIL refused Easter eggs?!

[ShabbyChic999]

In the scheme of things this is not a major problem but I'm curious to know what you ladies think.....!!!
I got lovely unicorn Thorntons eggs for DH little nieces but at the last minute my in laws went away for Easter so we hadn't dropped the eggs to them. We tried to make an arrangement to drop over since they got back but when i mentioned we had eggs for the girls my SIL said to keep them ourselves and that they had enough chocolate. Again I know it's not a major deal, I just felt a bit flat as was excited to give them and see their faces. I know kids have all eaten too much chocolate at this stage but I just think now they'll think we didn't get them any egg! Curious to know if you think she's being too fussy or has a point?

Team sil here. She is the one who knows how to manage her kids' diet and how they behave around knowing there's a load of chocolate in the cupboard.
It's not a kindness to dump sugary stuff into a family and expect them to be grateful.
Yes maybe she could have been less direct but would you have taken the hint if she had?

She was being rude. They could go in a treats cupboard.

She's not being rude at all, she's saying the kids have had too much chocolate as it is and that you're better off keeping them yourself for that reason. It's not rude to say no, she may be prioritising her children's health over your feelings.

Next year she needs to say ‘please don’t buy chocolate for the children’ in advance.

Next year she will probably moan if the OP and her family come to see them over Easter with nothing for the children.

I’ve been reading this post amazed at your sister in law’s thoughts that there is such a thing as ‘too much chocolate!’
Most adults would ration out the excess Easter eggs so children were having a normal amount.
Perhsps sis in law feels uncomfortable with the amount of chocolate - as she can’t resist it herself ??

If her kids already have lots of chocolate she could have used it as a lesson for her kids in sharing, and donated the eggs. You can choose to be rude about something or turn it around into a positive.

Well, she’s not setting her children a good example - how rude and quite hurtful. She couldn’t have accepted them this time and suggested something different for next year.

She was rude. You made the effort to buy them for her children, all she had to do was accept them and say thank you. It’s what normal people do. The children could have eaten them at some point in the coming weeks and months, or if she’s that bothered, she could have donated them. Instead, she chose to make an issue out of something that should have been very simple.

Of course it’s rude to dismiss a gift someone has bought. It’s not a random piece of chocolate, it’s an Easter egg at Easter. If it was Christmas would you decline a Christmas present from someone because you already had enough?

It’s quite eye opening to see the low standards of good manners on here.

That's rude of her but you saying "smellies" has probably turned her off.

Do you always take them eggs, OP? If this is something you usually do, she should have mentioned it in the run up to Easter

If you don't usually buy them Easter eggs it would have been weird and presumptuous for her to issue a "don't buy my children chocolate" edict.

I sympathise with her need to cut back. We usually had two eggs per child at Easter but one year they were given seven, which was ridiculous.

My friend's kids got twelve each from extended family and they took the hump when my friend asked them to stop buying them

Nope. Her children are probably not aware of the exchange.

Seems a lots of people have chosen this thread to parade their manners high horse.

If the relationshipim is generally good, it's not rude to say "let's not bother now with planning a meeting only to drop off some chocolate". It's just the OP being overinvested.

To be fair, I doubt she is setting her children any kind of example here, good or bad, as I assume they are completely unaware of the interaction. They aren’t learning anything from it.

i find having the masses of Easter eggs a bit of a pain.. I have very limited storage and they take up a lot of space and take a long time to get through them all. I don’t let my kids have massive amounts at once so one Easter egg will last a while. I’d never be rude enough to refuse them though!

My kids have way too much as well and I wouldn’t take more. I don’t think she was being awful. The last one we received I felt bad as I knew it was going straight to food bank.

I agree with this.

You can’t say “please don’t buy eggs” to people who don’t usually. But if they do, you should say that beforehand.

If you don’t normally buy eggs OP, then I don’t think your SIL is wrong here. Why is it rude to turn down a gift, but not rude to insist that someone accept a gift and be grateful. I think it’s weird to think “you must let me give your child this gift, regardless of any other considerations, and if you don’t, you’re the rude one”. She should be polite with her decline though.
But if you do normally buy eggs, she should have said sooner that she didn’t want them.

I agree with this. Let their parents buy them eggs. Chocolate is bad for them, it's not your place to give it and she was setting a clear boundary. I'd be interested to know how old the kids are.

I've actually used up excess celebration chocolate to make cakes etc for later.

Some people are very controlling about these things. I would be pleased with the thought and effort. I would also like to see the kids faces. It's only once a year.

Your SIL was a bit rude. Maybe choose a non-chocolate gift in future if you want to gift something to your nieces.
(Not the same but in the same vein. My mum, for a few years, told me she hadn’t bought my two children anything for Easter as they would already receive enough chocolate. It really irritated me. We didn’t expect anything. But if the real reason was too much chocolate, she could have given them literally anything else!)

If I was SiL, I then would be rude and tell you I said no and meant it and for you to take them away with you now, as you were leaving.

I can see your SIL's point - I remember my heart sinking when my large family would get together at Easter and the exchange of multiple eggs started. However, I love giving gifts and would have felt quite deflated at her response if I was you. I'd probably look at it in the wider scheme of things - do you mostly get on/feel valued by her etc. We can all be a bit thoughtless at times and maybe she just wasn't thinking? Or, maybe this is just how she is and if you have a few examples of this thoughtlessness then you can adjust your effort accordingly.

What an old misery your SIL is. Poor children. Rationing the fun.

Can't believe how rude she is!!
My son can't have commercial Easter eggs as he's allergic to sugar but he's taken part in Easter egg hunts and we've thanked anyone who's given him an egg. (We've then swapped them for something else and his dad's had the eggs!)

Honestly, my DC had a chocolate egg from the Easter bunny, a chocolate egg from school for end of term, some mini eggs over Easter and a chocolate egg hunt at grandparents (checked with me first that chocolate eggs are ok), and I think they had way too much.

I would be furious if random relatives started adding to that - chocolate is terrible for their teeth, has caffeine in it and is highly addictive.

Next time ask a parent in advance whether they’d like chocolate eggs for DNs, this way you won’t waste money or chocolate.