To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

So you’ll carry on sending her photos of your precious toddler for her to bitch about her and you. Come on!

It wasn’t the wrap itself, it was the fact we bought it from the shop that was the treat.

Don't be so ridiculous. Op has posted a picture of the packaging. There are 450 calories in the whole pack. The salt and fat content is medium.
A four year old needs between 1200 and 1400 calories a day so the calories content is bang on. A 7 year old needs anything from 1400 to 2000 calories a day. How are you even begining to imagine that a wrap is anything like the daily calories limit for a limit for a 4 year old? Thats one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on a food thread and that takes some doing.
Your point about a wrap made at home is high in calories is just as daft. The average is between 160 and 190 calories for a plain wrap. My kids Primary school sold wraps / sandwiches etc as an alternative to a hot lunch. The wraps and sandwiches came packaged just the same as the ones you buy in the supermarket i.e one wrap cut in 2 as a portion or 2 slices of bread again cut in 2 as a portion.

RTFT

And lucky for you that spending £7-ish on shop food rather than a sandwich at home isn't a treat.

I will do what I like :)

🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t send photos to someone who criticises my toddler and me but each to their own

I see the orthorexics have been drawn to this thread as moths to a flame. I thought it was well understood that children should not be on a low-fat diet.

On a completely different note, I much prefer good bread to wraps. It has more texture and interest. I find wraps taste of nothing and are a bit claggy. I may well be in a minority here. What's the attraction of the wrap?

I generally agree with you, but I sometimes fancy something soft and easy to eat. Variety's the spice of life.

Ask her not to comment on the food in future she’s going to give them unhealthy food images they are your kids she raised hers she should keep her opinions to herself as you said it wasn’t helpful to you.

Half each? Would she give them half a sandwich each?

I would hit the roof if my mum talked like that in front of my children. I think you really need to tell her that since she raised you to have issues with food her opinion is irrelevant.

Talking negatively about food to children can be so damaging. I'm really careful with DDs to encourage balanced eating, nothing is off limits but listen to what our bodies need etc etc. You mum is going to pass her food issues on to your kids if you continue to let her speak like that in front of them.

Op my 8 year old ate an adults McDonald’s Big Mac, with chips and chocolate milkshake and 4 extra chicken nuggets for lunch today.

In no way are they fat and it’s a one off treat. 97th percentile for height and 75th for weight.

They will eat more homemade tomato pasta with hidden roasted vegetables than I do as an adult.

I had an eating disorder years ago and we don’t focus on calories. I talk to my kids about nutrition, some foods give our bodies more nutrients but it’s also ok to occasionally eat foods that make our brains happy. So we never label foods good or bad.

You need to gently tell you mum to shut up and not talk about calories or food like that in front of your children

A wrap has about the same amount of calories as two slices of bread. It’s absolutely fine, and I hope they enjoyed them.

Kids might overindulge in sweet treats if given the chance to I.e scoff 10 cupcakes from the buffet at a party but it’s less likely they’d force themselves to eat something like a whole wrap if they were full up. If they ate it then they were hungry enough to. Ignore her, being deprived of completely normal foods is far more likely to be detrimental as they get older than them being allowed it.

1). When it comes to your mum talking about food, don’t listen. She has no idea.
2). At age 3, I had someone query my order for a whole, porterhouse in a restaurant. I said “mate, just you wait and see the clean plate at the end”.
3). After an afternoon swimming lesson, dc would have had a wrap as an entree. She would have needed a lot more. She was on the 10th percentile.
4). Ignore your mum. She lives on another planet.

My 4 and 6 year olds eat whole wraps. Your mum is batshit. There is nothing wrong with a wrap. They provide the carbohydrates you need as part of a balanced diet, so with some protein and fibre (such as chicken and salad, or ham, cheese and tomatoes, etc) it's perfectly healthy and nutritious.

Your mum needs to educate herself. I'd not be letting her speak to my DC about food again, and tbh I wouldn't be limiting wraps (or any food) as long as it's eaten in moderation.

This is bizzare. As a child we would wat like hungry wolves eapecially pre teen - teens. Who need more caloriea then any other group of people (babies, adults, oregnant women, elders). No obesity and fine as adults.
Totally she is BU

ignore what she says about food - you know she has issues with food.

Tell her to stop commenting on what you feed your kids - tell her that as an adult you are capable of deciding what they eat and will not justify yourself you anyone about your choices. If she's not happy tell her to stick it.

Yep. That's what she said. Why are you so argumentative? 😁

I'd keep your children away from your mother when they are eating if I were you, and if she's going to criticise your parenting, she can do her own jobs in future.

Reread the exchange.

I haven't rtft so apologies if this has already been recommended, but I think you might find Fat Talk: growing up in diet culture by Virginia Sole Smith a helpful read. It made me very careful how I talk about food and myself in front of children.

Op feed your kids what you want.
I had a wrap ok fine i had 2, im now waiting for cod and chips to arrive.

Regardless of what was appropriate for your DCs, she was way out of line, especially saying this in front of them. Is there a way to tell her, kindly, that her fear of weight gain has given you some serious problems over the years and that you don't want her to say anything about diet or weight in front of your children? Maybe arm yourself first with info about appropriate calories at their age, appropriate treats, and the food groups in the wraps, so you are confident to resist any nonsense. This kind of info will also stop you doubting yourself.

Tbvh the kids happy meals dont fill a kid, you get nothing in them anymore, dont blame your for getting the adult ones.
Some kids like their food.