To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

I agree with PPs who say that your mum has no business commenting on food to or in front of your DC in the way that she has.

Teach your children to try/eat a variety of foods and to stop when they are full.

No, it was not part of a full meal. It was a chook by itself, that’s all they wanted afterwards (3.5hrs of intense activity). It was only for one season while they were going through a massive teen growth spurt. Never happened subsequently, they went back to normal portion.

None of my other kids had this. It was unusual. Which is why I specifically called it out here as an anecdote.

A whole wrap isn't too much. It's the equivalent of a slice of bread. Just add a healthy filling.

When I was young I often saw teenage lads drink a whole pint of full fat milk or a whole large loaf filled with chips. They were all so skinny then. I can well imagine a whole chicken being consumed at one go by any one of them.

OP dont give your kids disordered eating. 450kcals wrap after a swim is a normal healthy way to eat. Theyre kids, theyre active, theyre not and shouldnt be calorie counting!!

Your mum has a totally messed up view of food. Ive been healthy and fit all my life, no way would I eat less than that after a swim for my lunch.

Your mum has self esteem issues and is passing them on. Her behaviour is cruel when it leads to a mother asking a chat forum if it’s ok for her children to have a wrap. This is so sad.

I got food issues from my mum. I have tried so hard to break the cycle with my kids. One of the things I have done is stopped allowingmy mother to talk to me about food. I only ask for advice like this from normal weight mums with normal weight kids.

450 calories. A third of the recommended intake.

Your mum has some very odd thoughts about food and weight by the sounds of things. I would actually, politely, ask her not to share her opinions on food or weight, especially when it is about the children. I have had to ask someone to stop talking about dieting and weight around my kids before. It is an obsession for some people

Your Mum raised a child who became an adult with weight/food issues.

I'd be reminding her of that and telling her to mind her beak.

OP says this is a treat after swimming. Children and adults have different appetites on different days and activities. As we all know sometimes we don't feel hungry and others we want more food. Occasionally our body signals we need more protein or vegetables/fruit. This is normal and children need to learn (not forget) to listen to their body fuel needs. This is all part of growing up and being responsible.

This was my thinking.

Kids are great at knowing instinctively what they need.

A double protein wrap after swimming makes absolute sense.

Ridiculous.

Kids are very good at regulating their own appetites and knowing how much food they need.

Let them eat until they are full, as long as it's healthy and nutritious.

I would get them one each and not worry about. Likely they won't finish it if it's too much which is fine. Better to fill them up when they are hungry after swimming. Kids need more calories than you think. They get fat when they are less active than they should be and eating a lot of processed food which is calorific but made to make you want more of it, and/or if they are eating a lot of sugar. Plus if they are encouraged to finish their plate rather than eat to their measure side eye to 1980s parenting.

I'd stop doing the jobs for her, Pack my things and leave.

I give a 450 call meal regularly to my underweight and healthy weight children aged 2 and 4.

my 7yr old would have eaten both those wraps.

Dear Lord, what business is it of your mother's and why do you listen to her?
Who knows or cares how many calories are in a wrap?
They are growing children and they've been exercising - of course they're hungry!
More importantly, OP, they're your kids, so stop listening to your interfering mother and grow a spine.

Urgh, she sounds like my mother. Constantly calling my 2 year old "chunky" and saying she eats too much "like you".

You wouldn't be unreasonable if they were having a wrap every day!
450 calories really isn't much for a kids meal especially when they've just been exerting themselves swimming!

Sorry to hear you've had food issues and judging by what you've said, I'm not surprised....did your Mum feed you very little?

I don't think we always realise just how much the behaviour we display models our children sometimes...I always remember my Mum being terrified we would choke on things (even to quite an older age), I remember once being with my sister (whose kids were SUCH picky eaters) when my son was a toddler...he was eating a banana in his highchair, I went to make us a cuppa when all of a sudden she let out a blood-curdling scream and exclaimed "He's choking! Omg omg omg", he wasn't close he was just gagging a little as sometimes he realised halfway through he didn't like the texture 🤣

But yes she'd only give them limited things or cut them very small and even as adults their diets are very limited as opposed to my (grown) children.

I'd not be rude but just politely tell her that your children's diets are not excessive and you'd really rather she didn't comment on them in a negative way especially within their earshot

Good luck!

Nothin wrong with your kids having a wrap for lunch. They worked up an appetite and need to eat. Your mum sounds like she has her own issues going on. She’s out of order speaking to you like that and you really don’t need to put up with her batshit craziness.

Fgs why do you carry on seeing her and having her around your child?!

I hardly see her. We live 500 miles apart. These are text messages

Crikey OP no wonder you have food issues. Your DM is crazy! My DGS who is 2 would polish one of these off for lunch. Considering a 4 year old needs around 12-1400 calories a day this is absolutely fine!

Stop sending her photos then

Nah. I just laugh off her stupid comments.