To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

So a 9 year old assaulted a grown man with his scooter and you don’t think his parents should know??
You need to tell the child’s parents.
And I’d watch your bf around kids as he did t exactly cover himself in glory either - a ‘mean tone’?? To a child?

For everyone’s safety your aunt needs to know. It sounds like your cousin needs some help and this is part of the picture.

You would be unreasonable not to tell your aunt what your cousin did. “Don’t tell my mum about my violent assault on an adult, because I’m already in trouble for fighting?”. Your aunt needs to know what kind of a child she’s raising and get him some serious help.

Hitting him once with the scooter would have been shockingly bad behaviour from a child, but to then hit him again twice when he was on the floor is psychopathic. Your boyfriend was a bit of a dick, but in no way did his attitude justify what your cousin did.

You absolutely have to tell all parents/responsible adults immediately

Cousin is a thug.

Of course you tell his mum, then keep your distance before he gets physical with you in retaliation.

Of course you have to tell your aunt.

You should tell this boy's parents. Extreme violence at that age absolutely needs intervention.

You should also chuck your petty boyfriend!

‘Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.’
There is so much wrong with this statement! There’s no way I’d not be telling his mum, his behaviour is wildly out of control and she’ll have a complete thug on her hands within a year or two ( I mean, pretty thuggish already! ). He needs serious help and now.
Of course your boyfriend was a dickhead for speaking to him that way but his reaction was wildly disproportionate and violent.

I know I should really tell her really but I don’t know what to do about BF’s injuries either as he won’t go to A+E.

You totally tell his mother, why on earth wouldn't you? And he has form?

Also BF sounds like a bit of a pig - he didn't deserve to get hit, not at all, but who takes a kid's chair and doesn't move?

The masculine toxicity is rife here. Aggressive males - call it out. Tell people.

Sounds like you were dealing with two 9-year-olds. Your BF was being childish and although your cousins reaction was terrible, your BF is supposed to be the grown up and was pretty rude to take the chair your cousin had been sitting in and not give it back. See, two 9-year-olds.
You will probably have to tell your aunt, but this was definitely sparked off by your BF. Prat. Leave him to sort his own injuries out, or not. You are not his Mum.

Your boyfriend is a grown man and can choose whether or not to go to A&E. All you can do is suggest it. Incidentally, why doesn't your boyfriend want you to tell anyone about this?

This.

your cousin needs help. Especially as it sounds like this is not unusual behaviour.

he’s seriously assaulted someone. It’s not an accident, and it wasn’t a one punch reaction. He hit him with a scooter then continued to hit, and stamp on him when he was down.

he needs help. Keeping quiet will not help him.

and get your bf medical attention ffs.

Well that’s entirely up to him, he’s a grown man and can make his own stupid decisions. Don’t try and mother him!

Cousin is violent and potentially dangerous. Of course his parents should know.
Boyfriend will be mortified that a kid got the drop on him . He sounds s bit of a dick anyway.
His injuries are his problem.

Your cousin is not a nice boy! A 9 year old who uses a scooter as a weapon against a grown man and has already been in trouble for fighting? You need to say something, he needs help. He’ll end up in prison for a serious assault in the not too distant future.

seriously?
You tell the parents! They need to know. They have the right to know.

You are doing your cousin zero favours by letting him get away with this. As a mother I'd want to know so I can stop him from doing it again and maybe killing someone/ getting himself put in prison.

So you text your aunt, can you come pick him up there's been an incident and he's assaulted bf.

Tell bf it's up to him whether or not he goes to a and e as he's a grown man but you'd recommend it. I'd then book him a taxi and let him decide to go there or home. I'd then dump him for speaking that way a) to a child and b) to someone in your family. Ideally have him leave before aunt gets there. Then tell her exactly what happened and how quickly her ds flipped and how serious the attack was.

A "mean tone" when a child with clearly horrific behavioural issues ordered him out of a seat because he had sat in it earlier?
He told him to go and play somewhere else, not to fuck off.

Clearly your boyfriend is embarrassed about being hurt by a child, but hes got nothing to be ashamed of. Noone would expect an assault like that from a child.
You need to tell your aunt. She needs to seek help for his anger issues before hes gets any older and kills someone. That level of aggression over an argument about a seat is not at all normal.

You are not doing the child any favours if you hide this, if anything he may resent noone caring enough to get him help when hes older if its ignored.
The aunt also needs to be aware so that he always has adult supervision until he is able to handle his reactions, imagine the damage an attack like that could have had on another child with noone there to stop him.

Yup, tell your aunt and let your BF make his own decisions about his injuries.

Tbh, if he's seriously injured he'll be aware of it. He's probably enjoying you worrying about him.

Oh - and if the cousin's friend witnessed this, his parents need to be told too.

If your bf doesn't want to go to A&E leave him alone. He's an adult supposedly so although his behaviour to the young cousin is pretty immature.

Tell your aunt though. Throwing scooters at people isn't on really.

A 9 year old hit someone over the head with a scooter twice and stamped on his wrist? This is extreme violence and absolutely not normal. If you don't tell his mum then you are enabling this violence- what happens if he assaults another child like this? It needs to be dealt with before he turns into a violent man.

And your boyfriend sounds awful speaking to a child like that. He's a grown man so you don't need to do anything about his injuries if he won't go to A+E.

Take photos of your bf's injuries to show your aunt or to show medics if he decides he needs to go to A&E during the next week.

@CatJump BF is in the wrong definitely. He was really rude to my cousin and not friendly to his friend either. He’s not much of a child person.

@takealettermsjones his friend went home so he probably already has told his parents but that’s nothing to do with me.

I haven’t replied to my aunt yet but I will say something as I don’t want it getting back to me.