AIBU to hate what's just happened at work?

[AbbotSade1985]

Worked on a project for the best part of 18 months. Led the project, which was quite technical, and controlled a large number of teams. The project was launched earlier this week and all went well. Someone in my team, equal to my level, joined 2 months ago. We'll call him Paul. My manager, we'll call him Steve, has seen all the work everyone's been doing.

I've worked near 12 hour days over the last few weeks. Paul has done his 9 to 5. Because Paul is new, I've helped him massively get up to scratch. He was brought onto the team because someone left and his role was to cover 1/3 of the project.

Steve and Paul have become good friends, going for drinks after work. Yesterday, Steve sent an email to Paul, CC'ing all senior management and thanked him for all his work on the project. Someone on that email forwarded it to me and asked why he was being thanked, when I had not only led the project, but worked really hard.

Steve doesn't know I know and I've not heard a thing from him, apart from a thank you in our last meeting a week ago.

I've checked in with colleagues about whether my performance lacked in any way and I've had a huge amount of praise.

AIBU to think I should have been thanked in the same way?

I don't work in renewable energy, but can I just say that Paul responded with exactly this kind of reply. He absolutely loved working with everyone blah blah blah

I wonder if there was some dissatisfaction from levels above you about how you were leading the project - so they brought someone else in. In the few months they have been there the project is completed and perhaps they have assigned that to the person they brought in because they thought you were overloaded.

That may be so, but by ignoring the OP's contribution, whether deliberately or accidentally, it has taken credit away from her. And given it where it wasn't wholly due. And if other people have noticed it then it's been a moment of poor judgement on Steve's part.

This did make me smile.

I've put together a message, which the senior member has looked over and agreed on.

I wanted to reply to everyone on here, as I'm really grateful for everyone's support.

Just to clarify, I was working 12 hour days to cover all the work. Paul was only involved with 1/3 of the project. There were lots of teams to manage, which is why it required so much effort.

Will you keep us posted when you’ve spoken to Steve @AbbotSade1985?

Bollocks. At best it’s completely ignorant and thoughtless.

positioning Paul would have meant sending an email praising the OP for her hard work and leadership of the project, with a note to additionally recognise Paul who has newly joined the company and stepped in to support this project, doing a great job considering his short tenure.

I hope the message really does spell out that Paul is still learning the ropes.

Dream on.

I'd be raging! Make sure your management know the relationship between Steve and Paul and how angry you are for being overlooked.
I'd seriously think about talking a grievance against Steve.

I sent the message. I kept it professional and passed through Chat GPT to ensure i wasn’t being too emotional. Steve read it and messaged to talk online. I'm so exhausted from this week, I've ignored the invite and have shut down my laptop.

Fantastic. Let him sweat all weekend.

The senior member should have intervened and thanked you to everyone on that thread. I wouldn’t have sent an email myself saying how much work I’d done.

You go OP!

Keep us posted? We're rooting for you!

Agree with this. Unless Steve is stupid he’ll realise that his email being highlighted to you reflects extraordinarily badly on him and he should be keen to remediate.

Im glad you havent just let it go, do let us know what Steve says!

I agree with this. Any general emails sent now thanking everyone for everything are a bit late in the day and I don’t think would hit the right note. At the moment OP has all the high ground, and should wait until she speaks to Steve next week.

Brilliant, let him stew all weekend.so glad you sent your email, people like Steve are just total pricks. They are in every work place.

@AbbotSade1985 enjoy your weekend.

Brilliant @AbbotSade1985 ! Congratulations - and it's fantastic there's a woman senior manager who has your back as well.

(and brava to the MN vipers).

I read your OP and wondered if we were back in the 1980s ...

Bloody well done you

This. The person should have stood up and said that you should have been acknowledged too.

It’ll be interesting to see if he chases you Monday to talk but I would spend some time this weekend having some phrases ready for the conversation.

Reminds of a Paul Longley's "If people at work were honest" sketches- The Manager, Suck Up and Alice/It's Kim

You now know Steve is not on your side so I would treat him as hostile privately.
Do not trust him or his motives.

You’re conflating several different things there. I have dealt with legal challenges like employment tribunals, grievances, formal complaints etc at scale, have you? There’s a difference between what you deem is unfair vs what the law allows for. The law is the bare minimum that must be followed.

Every decision you make, should logically be calculated on risk outcomes and likelihood. Not every scenario is the right opportunity to be a social justice warrior unfortunately. Managers can socialise with whoever they want to in their personal lives, him having a friendship is not something that is realistically going to be restricted by his boss as it is not against the law. In this scenario, OP does not have a strong enough argument for it be upheld in her favour, there is no guaranteed outcome of anything positive for OP.

These sorts of employment issues can seriously impact your health, and even for strong cases (which is not the case here), the entire process of raising grievances to going to court to litigate will take years. It’s not a pleasant experience in the interim, I don’t believe anyone who has gone through the entire end to end process would have the same attitude you have.

Don’t get into a verbal discussion about it, let him respond to your email. Verbal communication isn’t in your best interests.