AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

[MileageWoes]

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

I’d be less fussed about the mileage - although it is a lot .. especially as I only average about 5000 a year ! I’d be more annoyed about the time . I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that he does this once a day - otherwise he’s never at home !

I won't drive my husbands car as its to big be he wouldn't begrudge me using his nor me mine but each to their own.

What hobby means up really early - guessing photography so sees in sunrise /set

Every day? and always from the same place?

I think PP are right, it has to be something involving livestock given the need for that sort of commitment.

It's not annual

What the hobby is in this case is relevant as it’s hard to understand why that level of commitment is needed.

even horses or livestock- if you have them so far away it’s would be a livery, and there’s nearly always some sort of reciprocal agreement or person available to do one of the visits. Easier for one person to go in a morning and turn 3 horses out than 3 people go and do a horse each. A big benefit of livery is there are others to share the load.

anyway he doesn’t go at weekends. Livestock/horses don’t have weekends off.

the only way it would be reasonable if it were a high level competitive sport, but even then weekends off would be unusual as this is when the long sessions are done. It’s also unusual for someone at that level to be holding down a FT job and a family.

so without knowing what the hobby is it’s impossible to say if the dh is reasonable.

if it is “just” a hobby then that amount of time and effort is unreasonable, and the dh should be able to just not go if he doesn’t have a car.

i can’t envision a hobby where that level of time and effort is necessary and has no flexibility. So unless o/p says what it is no one can judge.

I wouldn't be fussed about the mileage. Honestly 500 miles is neither here nor there on a modern car. But I'd assume he was paying all the petrol bills.

I'm more intrigued as to this hobby that is 20 miles away, that he happily trots off to twice a day! And that you're happy for him to do it.

A few miles to allow him to cosplay should be ok in a marriage.

500 a week

As a horse person, I'm enjoying this thread a lot. We're never home! But I do believe OP that it's not that!

Sounds fine to me. That's what cars are for.

Good point from same place would be boring

must be an animal bit op also says doesn’t have to be twice a day - which surely an animal would need to be see and not left for 24 hrs

It's 500 miles per week, not 500 miles yearly

This hobby is adding 24,000 miles per annum to your car, which is impacting it's value and lifespan. I think i would have more of an issue with a partner this amount of time every day on a hobby. It sounds more like an obsession.

It’s for a few weeks. So won’t be 24k

isn't he having an affair?

Maybe he “works nights”, goes back for breakfast, leaves when everyone goes to school/work, then back for tea time before leaving for work again…

🤔

It’s 500 a week not a year

500 miles a week !!! Wowser, seems like im in the minority as if be pissed off too on a car thats old like yours
If its only for a " few weeks " I could get less pissed off but if it went on for longer than like 6 weeks or more I would ask him if he could get a hire car ? Is it in a garage and you're covered by insurance to get a hire ?
How often do you use yours ? Is it impeding on your usage ?

Detectorist?

I am guessing wild swimming, which would explain why it has to happen at the same place every day. Every wild swimmer I know is addicted to it.

Dogging?

cosplay?! No one is doing that a 5.30 am every day!

Ooh, interesting. But he'd have to contribute financially to two households and eat two breakfasts and dinners.

OP have you seen this hobby location for yourself and seen him doing it and talking to the other people who do it?

Maybe he’s cosplaying as a lamplighter from ye olden days.