AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

[MileageWoes]

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

Possibly horses - they need checking at least twice a day.

It’s not that bizarre.

Horses…

Oh ffs.

o/p has repeatedly said it’s not horses. Read the thread, or at least o/p’s posts.

Finally got my DH on board 😁

He bought me two horses, land, built a stable block and is currently down there doing fencing while I’m at home 😁

I dont think YABU at all! 2000 extra miles a MONTH for something that isnt essential is absolutely ridiculous.

But I agree that the main issue here is the obsession hobby. Frankly what is the point of being married to him if he is never bloody there?! I mean people have to work away and stuff, thats different but to be either doing his hobby or working or asleep.....thats not a marriage, thats a flatshare.

As long as he puts petrol in it, and your not over your annual mileage why the moaning

OP has already said that it isnt horses.

As it's only for a few weeks l think that you are bu, surely you share things as you are married or it is "don't touch my things", if that's the case it's not much of a marriage.

He is doing over 2250 a month so why did you put three exclamation marks to your 1100?
Are you also doing it for your hobby?

Read the post properly its 500 miles a week for 4 weeks so 2000 miles.

@katepilarthats my average mileage for the month, including work and everything.

I was pointing out the amount of mileage the OP does really isn’t much at all. I wasn’t aware there is a law to how many exclamation marks I can use.

“Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

Twice a day - every day - horses 💯

Good grief, why are people repeatedly suggesting horses when the ops clearly stated it’s not horses, it’s not hard to read her posts at least.

What is a car for if not for driving?
I think you’re being ridiculous tbh. Would you rather have your dh disappointed and resentful, with your car sat there doing nothing, or have the car used for what it’s made for and make your dh happy?
It’s an absolute no brainer.
I honestly don’t understand why you would have a problem putting miles on your car op?!

No you aren't being unreasonable. He's leaving you and the kids stranded every morning and night for up to a month so he can still do his hobby. I'd say he needs to cut it down hugely when the house hild is down to one car and yes that increase in wear and tear on my car would worry me. What uf your car breaks too? How will you get to work?

For me, the key thing is if the car is owned outright or even on a traditional HP... but if its on a PCP and this would put you over your mileage then I'd be really unimpressed

Meh. As long as he filled it up for me and I didn't need it I can't see the issue.

I would care less about the mileage and more about him spending so much of his waking life on a hobby. Twice a day! So weird. But on the mileage alone I think YABU.

Who has time for a hobby twice a day every day of the week that is 40mile round trip? Assume you don't have children?

It would bother me, we have very separate finances. I think it depends really. For example, if ‘your’ car were to have an issue that was expensive to fix in a few months time would you be paying for that from shared finances? Or your own money? Same with tyres etc. Bevuasw wear and tear can take a while to become a problem. Obviously the car is worth less when it has more miles on and if you’re species to buy your own car form your own money then of course you want your current car to be worth as much as possible for as long as possible. If it’s your own money then of course he needs to leave your car alone. I’ve had three cars that have had the same fault that I’ve had to pay to fix from my own money and I am absolutely sure it is from my OH’s fault when he’s driven my car. I told him this latest time that he should pay. M

If everything is shared then I think I wouldn’t care at all. It is hard for some people to understand when they’ve shared money their whole married life.

the OP makes it clear that they do, I rather suspect that he started this years ago in order to avoid family life and carried it on.

I hardly think they are joined at the hip when they both work & he goes to a hobby twice a day every day, probably barely see each other

Having a horse. Been there, done it.

Having a horse. Been there, done it.

Cancel the fucking cheque