AIBU to feel sad my son's inherited ring will be redesigned?

[Cathrube]

My son inherited my mum’s engagement ring as the eldest grandson, which felt really special at the time, it’s quite a sentimental piece in our family.
He’s now planning to propose (which is lovely!), but he doesn’t want to use the ring as it is. His girlfriend prefers yellow gold and wants a peach sapphire as the centre stone, so he’s planning to redesign it and use some of the diamonds in a new ring instead.
I completely understand wanting something that suits her style, and I don’t expect her to wear something she doesn’t love. But I can’t help feeling a bit sad at the thought of the original ring being taken apart, especially given its history.
Part of me thinks it might be nicer if he offered the ring intact to his brother or cousins, and then created something new separately. But I also realise it was given to him, so maybe it’s his choice what he does with it.
Am I being unreasonable to feel like this, or is it fair to want the ring to stay whole?

I actually think offering to buy it off him is a great idea. That way you’ll get the ring and they’ll get money to buy a ring she actually likes. Because really at the end of the day, if she really liked the ring, she’d wear it and having it messed about just signals to me it’s not her cup of tea.

@NeedspaceforlegoNot necessarily for jewellery. Yes, halo rings are now preferred with a central stone and this has been made since Georgian times so not much change. The issue of fashion is around setting and what suits the mood of the moment. There are some pretty dire modern ish rings around that really are nothing special and won’t be coveted in decades to come. A classic diamond set in platinum from the 30s is always going to be lovely. Some rings really won’t come back into fashion. They simply are not special enough.

Ok it might not come back into fashion. But its clearly sentimental to Op.
She should consider trying to do a deal with him to preserve it at least during her lifetime.

If no DGD come along or the fashion doesn't come back then her kids can do what they like with it when shes gone

OP you said everyone was given jewellery, could you swap something for this ring if keeping it as it is is so important to you?

But then what are you going to do with it? Wear it yourself or stick it in a drawer and wait for a possible female grandchild to pass it on to (who might get it redesigned anyway as no guarantee she will like it either).

@Needspaceforlego Given it’s probably not the greatest piece in the world, get it valued, keep it and hand over the value to DS. It just denies DS of having those diamonds.

It isn’t the OP’s ring to get valued and keep, whilst handing over the value. OP can ask DS to have the ring he owns valued, and - if he agrees to that - offer him the value, which he may (or may not) be happy to accept.

@SheilaFentiman Yes! I get that. Op can say how she feels and propose an alternative. DS might or might not agree! No need for shouty bold!

Its a bit odd to leave an engagement ring to a grandson! Personally, I wouldn't want to wear my husband's granny's ring. Why don't you offer to buy it off him and then his fiancée can get the ring she wants. I think that's fair. I don't think k you can demand he keeps it as is.

Let them use it yo suit themselves. Its still a precious thing but it isnt yours and gifts shouldn't have conditions.

I know someone who did have DHs granny’s ring. A very decent diamond! Who would say no to that? Some insignificant ring isn’t very exciting!

Eh?

I assure you, I was very excited about my engagement ring. And I would imagine that millions of brides were excited about their engagement rings that weren’t a family heirloom.

The fiancé in question is incorporating an inherited jewel into a style he knows his bride-to- be loves. I think that’s beautiful.

@SheilaFentiman That wasn’t directed at you. Another poster said they would not want to have DHs granny’s ring. I would if it was a whopper!

Exactly 💯

Some insignificant ring isn’t very exciting!

This was a general comment.

But if you were directing it at one poster and implying her specific engagement ring wasn’t exciting, that’s outright rude.

However, pigeon chess. Ta-ra and enjoy the football.

We are holding great grandma's diamond solitaire for the time being. As and when DS pops the question, and is accepted, it will be one of several options for the future Mrs to choose from. I expect it to be reset to the bride's taste.

Would you rather it was repurposed and worn, or not worn at all? Life moves on and things change. I think it’s a lovely idea.

I can't (obviously) reply for the OP. I'd rather it was remade for the wearer's taste. I love the idea that jewels are one of very few things made more beautiful by human ingenuity.

@Papyrophile Be a bit careful about that. If a ring is a gorgeous art deco ring set in platinum and exquisite, it’s worth more as it stands. My friend messed about with a 1930s marquise diamond ring (her granny’s) and it’s now horrible! The value has been lost because it’s now modern and cheap looking plus mounted easy to west - just no.

My first thought was that he’d probably be better off buying a new ring. Redesigns are expensive and ready-to-buy sapphires with a halo aren’t that expensive.

BUT, hearing that it’s a diamond cluster I can imagine that it will likely sit in a box forevermore, and so you want that for your mum’s ring?

Agree with this. I inherited rings from my grandma, mother and Ex's DM. I would choose any of the designs but obviously they had sentimental value. In the end I used the gold from MIL's very worn ring to pay for having my grandma's engagement ring (which I wouldn't wear) turned into ear studs (that I do wear). I loved them all but the rings were tired and dated.